To be annoyed that he didn’t respond or contact me after my message?

[theecvitent]

My new bf who is 50 , went away yesterday to a friend with other friends. We text a bit through the day and he did something really kind for me.
I am sick at the moment, a chest infection and ear infection. I’m quite poorly .
Im at home in bed since yesterday afternoon and despite me tell ing him this Ona voice note , he hasn’t bothered to contact me once since or acknowledge the voice note.
I suggested we have a call before I remembered he was going to be away with his buddies doing an activity . He said probably not which is fair enough .
im a bit disappointed here.
AIBU?

It’s not even a night out he’s helping do work for a pal and you want to be whining you’re ‘poorly’ (hate that word)
You sound like a petulant teenager.

How do you know he's listened to your message? My DD often sends long rambling voice notes. I don't listen to them until I'm alone as no one else should have to listen to her wittering on about the injustice of the lunch queue. I'm pretty sure the message will go to two blue ticks once I've opened the Whatsapp message, though I haven't listened to it.

Most likely, he will listen to it at some point and respond when he has time to do so. Until then, message a friend and leave him to enjoy his break.

Old enough to know better, theecvitent ! Nothing old fashioned about your attitude, I am a lot older than you and don't remember couples being so obviously 'needy' when I was younger.

You spoke yesterday and though you are not well, I don't think you're dying, will be feeling better in a couple of days.

Has he messaged you this morning @theecvitent ?

Thanks. I’m possibly just a bit miserable here and bored making me needy. He hasn’t text. I think im probably annoyed with myself as anytime I’m away etc ill
always make time to say or text goodnight so it’s just mismatched priorities. Maybe I just need to match his energy . He is very lovely so I must remember that

He may have ‘seen’ the voice note if it was blue ticked, but not listened to it because he hasn’t been on his own to listen to it.
You do sound a bit needy OP. Personally, I find it an attractive quality in a man if they’re out doing stuff and meeting friends and not bombarding me with text messages all day. He sounds like a nice guy, don’t ruin it. See how he is with you today.

He's doing manual work, I'd expect him to have put his phone out of the way. No-one should have to disrupt a meal/getting together to go and play/answer a VN on their phone. A common gripe is that everyone is on their phone, we are taking them off teenagers, because not interacting with the real people around us, is becoming a problem. I don't know anyone over 40 who expects this level of contact. Most couples at 50, would think, lets leave them in bed recovering/to get on with the work and catch up in a couple of days. I'm 58, my DH phoned twice a week, my Dad (merchant navy) once a week, if possible. @theecvitent you are possibly not compatible. I'd have to finish it, I'm busy in my family etc and a chest infection is a, run of the mill, complaint, not something that needs a change of plan. He did something nice because he was going to be busy. Meeting my DP, as a older couple I liked that space, do you really want to live in each other's pockets?

You sound suffocating.

I would really hate someone sending ne texts and voice notes when I was away doing things with friends.
Did you have anything interesting to say or had something happened? If not, did you just want sympathy or were you bored?
I certainly can't see why you would be disappointed that he was presumably doing what he went away to do and didn't want to waste time getting back to you.

FWIW, I hardly ever send good night messages to my partner who I don’t live with. I hard run out of social battery in the evening and want to focus on reading or watching TV or whatever and my phone usually doesn’t get touched again until the next day. I definitely don’t text him if I’m out with friends.

You sound like HARD work. Hurt and upset because he didn’t send a message when he’s away and busy with friends? And you’re 50? Grow up.

Yeah that’s a bit needy to be honest, do you not have friends or family if you need attention, dudes off doing stuff, yoire not married or anything,

I get where you are coming from OP, if you normally send goodnight texts and stuff it can make you panic a bit if that doesn’t happen - especially if you’re not feeling right.
But try to rest, chill - if you need to chat then find others to speak to - and don’t message him again. Leave him be & let him contact you when he can.

If you’re 50, you’re the same age as me. Maybe remember back to when we were teenagers and had our first boyfriends. We didn’t always see/speak to them every day did we? We didn’t phone every day. Communication doesn’t have to be constant just because we now have the means to communicate constantly.
Just let him breathe and do his own thing once in a while without having to message you.
You sound needy and you may push him away.

He’s away with friends but did something nice for you anyway. Leave the poor bloke alone.

If you’re feeling so poorly, then go to bed and rest. Not sure why you left a voice message if you’re finding it difficult with a chest infection, a text would have been easier for you.

If you were in hospital, I can imagine him being more concerned but an ear infection is nothing.

6 months is very early in a relationship to expect him to be thinking about you all the time.

I think you are being a bit needy as you’re feeling ill. I’d probably feel the same but in the cold light of day it wouldn’t be a deal breaker especially as he’s already communicated and done something lovely already. Hope you feel better soon.

You are showing signs of control, huge emotions attached to the text messages. He’ll walk away from the intense pressure to keep you happy. Keep your disappointment to yourself.

If a new BF was sulking about having a cold and me not texting them the night I'm with friends it would have me running for the hills. I'd think they want to be the centre of attention at all times and don't want me enjoying time with friends. I'd also think them dramatic to diagnose themselves with a chest and ear infection when I didn't reply to their previous message about a cold.

I think @tiramisugelatoworded it perfectly. Why can’t he enjoy a night with his friends instead of fussing over you?? So what if he didn’t reply to your last message. He will likely resume normal contact when he is home. Give him a break

Poor man. He’s away with friends and you are pestering him

you are needy. Yes I get you are poorly but call a friend

he’s text - what more do you want ?

But at the moment he is being attentive to his friends. Because he’s away with his friends.

If you're so unwell that you're in bed , perhaps he was being considerate and decided it was best not to bother you , also he probably thought you'd be asleep quite a bit .

I'm probably a horrible person, but a voice note from a 'poorly' partner would be a total turn off for me. Voice notes are very annoying and neediness is not an attractive quality to me.

Are you sure he has even listened to the voice note? I wouldn't have. I find them pretty inconvenient and annoying and often wont deal with them for days.

Especially if they put on the sick voice to over emphasis the illness. I’m mean too. When I’m ill I keep it to myself.