How did you get over being left out by the other mums?

[fruitfly3]

Just that really. I have realised that there is a little posse of 6-7 of the other mums in the class that I’m not part of - actually, I’m actively excluded from. They are the sort of people I’d have a good laugh with and really enjoy hanging out with at the kids activities (professionals, similar interests etc). But they have formed a group that definitely doesn’t include me. The 3/4 other mums are lovely but not people I draw energy from (one is from a different culture and our sense of humour and chat is just different), one is a bit depressing etc and one is a SAHM whose outlook and life is super different to mine. It’s made me feel 13 again and left out by the popular kids - made me question how I come across and feel horribly self conscious. I went over to them at an activity tonight - they acknowledged me and then turned away and closed their circle. It was pretty awful. Not looking for explanations (or really to bitch about them) but wonder how you reframe it in your own mind? Adults are so so hard to make friends with.

I had one mum I got on with. Similar professional mums didn’t want me at all. However the one I did get on with was kind, friendly and inclusive. Other parents curated dc friendships and my dd was excluded. I found that really hard because she never found her place. It was so bad she preferred boarding school from y7 where she found numerous friends who are all coming to her wedding in 6 months! In the end, you not need the cliquey parents. The only time anyone showed interest in dd or me was when dd said she wasn’t going to the local grammar along with the clique girls. Then they took notice of her! Thank god we made the decision to go!

Grown women are awful and should no better. You probably aren't missing out in anything if they are like that

Exactly, how are people classing them as rude and not having character etc when OP has done the same thing to the other group. Maybe your energy is not for them as you said of the other group and that’s okay.

What’s actually nasty, is you labelling me. I stated a fact, OP doesn’t want to be friends with other mums because of xyz and the ‘clique-mums’ probably feel the same about the OP.

That's the rubbish bit isn't it. I don't give 2 hoots what they think of me (although will talk to anyone and help anyone out) but when these curated friendships negatively impact on other children then it's horrible.