AIBU to ask my next door neighbours not to smoke indoors?

[BeansOnToast41]

Genuinely not sure what my own opinion is on this so intrigued to see what the consensus is. My house is an end-of-terrace and the next door neighbours smoke indoors (sometimes normal cigarettes, sometimes weed). I’ve no major issue with smokers, but because they’re doing it inside, the smell comes through to my living room. We’ve not mentioned it to the neighbours and haven’t decided if we will or not (to be fair it isn’t constant) but I’m wondering if it would even be acceptable to ask someone not to do something which they’re well within their rights to do in their own home.

Voting is:

IABU = no you can’t ask someone not to do something in their own home
IANBU = yes totally fine to say something because the smell is coming through the wall

I totally get that it's annoying but it would be unreasonable.

I smell cooking every day from my next door neighbour. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes very much not so. I can also smell - sometimes - when they go to the toilet, as our bathrooms are connected.

I can't tell them to stop eating though.

I don't think you can ask them not to smoke in their own house - it probably says something about the way the acceptability of smoking in our society has shifted that someone would even consider this as an option.

I would find a way of sealing off the living room from your side. It should be preventable.

If they are good neighbours they will also work with you to try and help find the leaks.

Improve your wall or whatever you need to improve.

Leave your neighbours alone.

Yes you can ask, they can say no.

Air vents, chimneys, broken skirting and so on. Find the source and plug the gap.

I wouldn't ask them to stop, since I reckon they will tell you to F off. As pp said, cooking smells, BBQs, and so on are part of sharing walls in homes.

Would a good electric fan to outside help. Like in a bathroom with no windows.

I live in between two smoking mostly indoors homes and it baffles me people on MN can smell it through solid wall, I cant smell it at all! Even when we all have our windows open.

I dont think its unreasonable to want to ask if you can genuinely smell it. But you do need to be prepared to get told to piss off (or similar) and for it to ruin neighbourly relations in future.

Well I certainly did. My new neighbours moved in and stunk my house out 24 hours a day with their disgusting cigarettes.
I once went round there at three in the morning and said can you stop smoking next to my bedroom because it stinks and I'm working tomorrow. I hadn't had any proper sleep for weeks because of their stench.
So they stopped smoking in the house.
I'm not putting up with that.
If they refuse you can do something - you can get a special air purifier which will take it out of the air and reduce the smell, it must have a carbon filter. The one I looked at was about £500 because it needed to cover quite a large area.
Or you can complain to the council who will tell you what you need to do to prove your complaint, and environmental health if it's affecting your health.

No, that’s not at all a reasonable thing to ask of them.

I understand how porous these old houses are, though. I can smell when my next-door neighbours have burnt their toast.

You can ask but I'm afraid I don't think it's reasonable to try and control what others do in their own home. If they were to do so outside wouldn't it blow into your garden/windows potentially anyway?

I'd not be happy if someone expected this of me. I'd be having sympathy if the houses are designed in such a way that it disturbs others but behind closed doors really is ones own private domain.

Could the council really do anything to stop someone doing something perfectly legal in a house they own?

It depends on how your house is built. Mine is a modern terrace and you can definitely smell it very strongly. So much so I could tell when he was lighting up a new one, he chain smokes. Sometimes stays up all night and smokes.
There is no way I am putting up with that. If I can smell it it means I am breathing in toxic particles and I don't want lung cancer from someone else's cigarette smoke.
I don't care about neighbourly relations, if someone is making my life a misery with their stinking cigarettes then they are not good neighbours and they don't care either.

I don’t smoke but I’m so glad I’m not your neighbour ! I have a feeling this isn’t the only thing you will be telling them not to do

I expect so if it’s causing health issues.

it’s horrible. I’d absolutely hate that. It wouldn’t bother me that someone was smoking in their own home. That’s their body their choice. But if it impacted me and the kids then absolutely would want to do something.

the air purifier sounds like a good idea and maybe getting someone in to look at the wall and any vents. See if something can be done from you side OP

depends what kind of people they are. If they’re abusive and likely to be rude then don’t bother. But if you think they may work with you then I’d try I think.

Sorry - to add as well I’ve just remembered it wasn’t constant. So if it wasn’t that often then that may change my view. I’d focus on my side more. But if it were constant and a significant smell etc then yes I’d give it a go if they were decent people

You may not care about neighbourly relations, but op might if she ever wants to sell in future. Or need a favour from them or whatever.

There are threads about people wishing their neighbours would NOT smoke out in the garden because it comes through their windows so it might not be any better for you.

Look, I can't stand the smell of fish and garlic but it's all next door ever seem to want to cook.

But it's their house and I wouldn't dream of telling them it literally turns my stomach over.

I think the age of the house and building quality probably plays a part and then lots of people have variations in how they experience senses.

I used to be told a lot as a kid that I can’t possibly smell the things I can smell. Or hear the things I can.

I live in an old end of street terraced house and can smell what my neighbour is cooking, I can smell the weed they’re smoking, their bathroom shares a wall with my bedroom and I can smell their toiletries.

I’d never ask anyone to stop doing a perfectly reasonable activity in their own home though.

It's the airbricks. I know precisely when my next door -, but one! - neighbours are sat on their doorstep with a morning fag and we don't live in a Terrace.
Similarly, when anyone walks past openly smoking weed 🤢

Of course you can't tell them not to smoke in their own home!

Do you own the house, could you hire some kind of builder to work out where the smell is coming through and block it up, rerouting any ventilation etc that was being served by that gap?

Well nothing stopping you from asking but I would expect a pretty sharp response!

This makes you sound mad as a lorry.

The faint smell of cigarette smoke from an adjoining house absolutely will not be causing health issues.

The council can't stop someone from smoking on their own property any more than they can stop someone from, eg, cooking strong-smelling food.

You cannot be serious

It may not be faint though.

everyone experiences smells differently. I am very sensitive to smells.

and those comparing it to food smells are missing the point that smoking can cause health conditions and passive smoking has implications too. So if it is coming through vents and air bricks then there is a health concern.

smelling fish and garlic won’t cause you harm.