AIBU to ask my next door neighbours not to smoke indoors?

[BeansOnToast41]

Genuinely not sure what my own opinion is on this so intrigued to see what the consensus is. My house is an end-of-terrace and the next door neighbours smoke indoors (sometimes normal cigarettes, sometimes weed). I’ve no major issue with smokers, but because they’re doing it inside, the smell comes through to my living room. We’ve not mentioned it to the neighbours and haven’t decided if we will or not (to be fair it isn’t constant) but I’m wondering if it would even be acceptable to ask someone not to do something which they’re well within their rights to do in their own home.

Voting is:

IABU = no you can’t ask someone not to do something in their own home
IANBU = yes totally fine to say something because the smell is coming through the wall

Um you said there is no risk to cancer from cooking fumes.

I'm surprised you didn't know that there is but I'm delighted to see that you do now know.

Be careful what you wish for, my neighbours smoke outside and the smell completely spoils my time in my small garden. I guess it depends what’s most important to you but I feel for you either way

Nice to hear that there are some decent people around!

No they cant.
Even if environmental health could detect cigarette smoke (which they wont test for) they would tell you to fix thr firewall between the houses

No it means your home is poorly built and your neighbour will have a valid complaint about you harassing them especially going to their door at 4am because you dont like them smoking in their own home

I remember as a child smelling it my bedroom from my next door neighbours. My Mum was aghast it was in my bedroom. I think the plumbing came into my room and I’m guessing air moved around the gaps and it seeped in. We didn’t like it back then.

I think you could mention something along the lines of “just wondering do you smoke as we can smell smoke in our house occasionally and we don’t smoke”. They may decide to smoke somewhere near a window.

believe me I get it, I’d hate it, I think nowadays people maybe more courteous. Even if they smoke outside it seeps through windows and guffs the outside area out. It is becoming more antisocial but smokers will say it’s their own property.

My neighbours sometimes smoke weed outside and I don’t think they realise how pungent it is.

@jinglejanglescarecat you do realise how insane you sound. The risk from the small amount of cigarette smoke seeping into a home from the neighbours is not a health risk that any government agency will do anything about other than laugh at you

This thread really highlights the folly of coming on here for legal advice. So much of it is just vibes and "yoy may as well ask."

You cannot be serious. People who smoke have an addiction. You think if someone knocked on and asked then not to smoke they would say "Sure. Sorry; how horrible and inconsiderate of me to smoke in my own home! Ill smoke outside instead....oh wait...then you'll smell it when you're in the garden or if you open the windows....so I guess I'll quit because I couldn't possibly have you dealing with the smell of smoke. After all that's what lovely obliging people like me do. Thanks for highlighting the issue.'

Only on mumsnet do you read stuff like this 😂. I've read some really batshit stuff on here but this has to be in the top 3 of all time.

Good lord, you won't find many people more anti-smoking than me (it killed both my parents) but that's one of the most weirdly unhinged things I've ever read.

Don't be pathethic.

We can do what we want in our own home.

Smoking? Yes. Weed yes.

Never had anyone complain in 40 years.

Mumsnet is pathethic.

The smokers I know bend over backwards not to cause other people any inconvenience. They're embarrassed by their habit and would be mortified to think they were causing the neighbours house to smell.
I didn't suggest for a moment they'd agree to quit if someone knocked the door, so there's no need to exaggerate and be silly about it, is there?
Just making the point that some smokers are very considerate so if OP is lucky, they may look to minimise the nuisance to her in some way.
If you think this so ridiculous, its probably because you've made the mistake of stereotyping all smokers as selfish.

@5128gap I've met plenty of smokers who are astonishingly selfish and think they have a right to smoke anywhere. I once had to stand and wait for a bus in the rain because an old woman in the bus shelter who was smoking hurled abuse at me when I politely asked her to stop (it counted as an indoor space and had a no smoking sign on it).

A lot of people thoughtless enough to smoke where it affects others will be aggressive or possibly violent when challenged.

I feel for you op but you’re onto a loser I’m afraid. Many of my neighbours (terraced, tiny gardens) smoke cigarettes and weed. They don’t want their own houses to smell so they all smoke outside, not caring that it then stinks out everyone’s gardens and homes. As we have to use a PIV we have to have out trickle vents permanently open, and the stench seeps in. Can’t have the windows open, can’t dry washing outside. Have to use the tumble dryer even in 35° heat. On a hot summer’s day or night when there’s no breeze, it just lingers in the air. We run large air purifiers on both floors. My daughter has asthma, and I feel for her. But, you can’t tell people what to do in their own homes.

Poor you I would hate that.

In all honesty, I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask them to smoke outside.

Can you insulate the wall. I know it’s not always practical and you can lose space doing it, but it would be well worth it imo.

Or think about moving.

Of course you can’t. Don’t be so ridiculous.

The police will not be interested in someone smoking a couple of joints in their own home.

Connected vents in your bathrooms? This can be a great way to catch sickness off them, not to mention being pretty gross if they flush without shutting the lid as this aerosolises poo and you can end up inhaling it. Aerosolised vomit if they have norovirus will be infectious if you inhale it. Similarly covid stays in the gut and if they flush with the lid open you will be inhaling aerosolised viral particles. I'd be sorting out your vents asap to fix this.

There was a case in Spain during lockdowns that showed very clearly that covid spread throughout an apartment building via bathroom vents.

It's a good job your not my neighbour. You would have received very short shift. There would be no neighbourly relations as a f*ck off often offends.

How is the smell getting into your house?

It’s not an illegal activity. So no. No different to cooking smells. Your problem to rectify.

In my old house the neighbours cooker hood was vented in to the shared chimney space. And they cooked a lot of very strong smelling food so we always got the smell. Apparently against building regs but I’m hardly going to ask them to redesign their kitchen.

I think you have an issue with your wall for a start, so it may be worth considering looking into that and getting it sorted first.
and no you can’t tell someone to stop smoking in their own house.

We had this once, when renting one of a pair of adjoining cottages. The smell of next door’s smoke would be quite strong in a bedroom. In that case, after getting someone in to take a look, it was coming in through the floorboards because of the way the houses were constructed. Apparently it can also enter via shared pipework channels, ducts, vents, flues etc. You should first identify the route.

And then, just as you would with fitting better windows to keep out noise or exhaust fumes, get it fixed.

Thanks for that. Nice to have a bit of name calling on a Saturday morning.

i don’t even care what you think. It’s second hand smoke. It can cause harm. Especially if you have an underlying health condition.

what anyone does about that I don’t care. Just trying to help and educate the people who didn’t know what a f/ing smell was 🙄

edited to add that this was in response to @Hoardasurass