To be cringed out by this (re sharing a takeaway)

[Cloudyonasunnyday]

When me and partner get a takeaway and share it he is obsessive over making sure we get half each, he will literally count pieces of chicken in a curry for example - how would this make you feel ?

I wouldn't be that meticulous myself but it wouldn't bother me if someone else was.

The best way to ensure fair splitting between two with minimal fuss is for one person to split and the other to pick their portion.

I would be more concerned about him being tight in general than with the takeaway issue specifically.

I find locally Indian takeaways have lots of sauce and a limited number of big pieces of meat so yes I do count them when serving myself to make sure there's a reasonable amount left with the rest of the sauce for a second portion.

This behaviour could be stingy or could be deeply practical - watch and see if stinginess appears elsewhere.

One of you divides the portion, the other chooses which one to take.

Well - if I was sharing a dish with my DH I would make sure we got equal amounts, unless I wanted less. It's only fair isn't it? To be frank, I don't know why you wouldn't. Unless of course it's something with little bits of meat in it and then I would do it by eye. Chicken curry - usually has around 6 biggish bits of chicken, so 3 each unless one of us wants less.
Chicken fried rice - little bits so do it by eye.

As it is we usually order different meat dishes and share the sides - and even then I pick out any peppers because I like them and he doesn't. Same with water chestnuts.

This is why I don’t share food 🤢

@TheyGrewUp my mum always calculated things like roast potatoes at so many per person. It was second nature to cast a quick eye over the dish to work out roughly how many there were so you knew not to take too many at the start. She usually did 4 per person, so we usually started with 3 and went back for second helpings. I always had to make sure that boyfriends / husbands / children were aware. I do the same, except I allow 6 per person plus a couple spare, and there are usually a few left over.

Unless he is neurodivergent and it would cause him anxiety for it not to be fair … it’s weird !

mmmmm... we used to count out the pieces of chicken when we shared our curry.

Think of it like this: if you discovered your partner had taken half of what was in the tub but "happened" to have 9 pieces of chicken and left you with 2, wouldn't you be slightly miffed?

Micromanaged. Get TWO takeaways. It’s worth it to avoid this insulting, controlling behavior. It really doesn’t matter WHY he does it, it’s unacceptable. How are you supposed to enjoy your meal while being food policed?

I can’t eat an awful lot, so always give my partner more than I would have but he gets so offended and starts spooning more onto my plate, but he’ll only end up eating in anyway because I’m too full 😂

Don't see the problem, whenever me and my partner have something like a Chinese or a curry we share out the main parts (i.e. meat) equally first then add everything else.

I do this because I’m a greedy bitch and my instincts say eat it all

I do this. Even if I get an Indian for just myself. I usually make it last for 2 days and divide it equally (count the chicken pieces). If I'm sharing with my partner, I woll divide it equally. I won't do it outloud and I don't mind if he has more. But if I do it, It will be equal.

And if you got 5 bits of meat and he got 6?

I do this subconsciously but it's a way of making sure the portions are fair. Not just fair for me, fair for who I'm sharing with.

But... I am also an only child with increasingly worsening OCD.

I do this but I count in my head, it’s because I need to believe in fairness and if I’m paying which I usually do I’m having my fair share,it does come from my childhood not feeling like an equal to my siblings

DH & I always get our own so there’s no problem.

I think he’s just making sure it’s a fair split. Would you be happy if you got 2 bits of chicken and he got 10?

I would get the scales out next time. Point out that the amount of pieces does not negate half. Each piece may be different sizes.

Do it straight faced, no smiling, deadpan serious.

It’s too late now, but I wouldn’t have reproduced with someone like this. You are meant to be a partnership. What happens if you end up unable to work as much? My health has declined since having my daughter. I am no longer able to work full time. It’s all just our money.

It's so weird to be bothered by this. If a dish has countable things in it like chicken pieces then it's normal to count them out to make sure everyone gets the same. I do this if I'm serving portions to DP and I. I do this whether he's actually there for it. I do this in my head if I'm serving guests at a dinner party. It's easier than trying to eyeball it (which always seems to result in someone getting way too much or way too little).

Sometimes I think MNers are looking for reasons to dislike the people around them. If you hate your partner that much then leave him FGS.

Sounds awful your partner wants you each have an equal amount. Terrible.

If i was sharing a main with someone I would count out the meat to share it down the middle.

Would you prefer he just slopped it on and maybe you got 2 bits?

Tbh if its a problem for you that he checks hes shared equally with you - just buy a main each?

@Cloudyonasunnyday Ugh. That would give me the raging ick. Someone you’re in a committed relationship with & have a child with is THAT tight & fussy? Nope.

I think it’s a matter of perspective, you could look at it and see it as him making sure HE is getting his fair share, or you could look at it as him making sure YOU get your fair share. One could be seen as selfish/being tight, and one seen as fair/thoughtful. Life gets better when you see/assume the good in people

Yep and if there’s no an equal amount of a food I sometimes split it in half so everyone has an equal share! Gasp!