To be cringed out by this (re sharing a takeaway)

[Cloudyonasunnyday]

When me and partner get a takeaway and share it he is obsessive over making sure we get half each, he will literally count pieces of chicken in a curry for example - how would this make you feel ?

Agree, my heart sank when she said she was on maternity leave.

I wish women wouldn't have babies with these ridiculous petty, petty men.

This is what I would suspect too.

Imagine when he has to split the chicken into 3 to include a child. It’s only going to get worse.

Oh no.....separate finances since day dot....been married over 50 years. Imagine being so terrified you might lose a few quid over your husband. She has always been a very paranoid person over money. She once hounded me for weeks when I was very ill and on minimal income over £3 she loaned me.

My father is very generous (in fairness he can afford to be) and she is happy with that. Whats his is theirs, whats her is her own.

ETA he paid for everything when we were kids (as was more usual then than it is now) so the bills, the mortgage, the car and he gave her "housekeeping". Everything she earned she kept and would only spent on the odd thing that she valued, usually one (cheap) holiday per year. And she spent the bare minimum of the housekeeping on shopping and trousered the rest. Tight isnt the word. She has £££££££ in savings, and for what?

Can I ask has he ever talked about marriage?

If you’ve got a kid do you not have a joint account and share wages? Especially while you’re on mat leave. It seems like the chicken is very symbolic

I’m not sure why he’s petty. It would seem he is trying to be fair. I would always want less on my plate than a man unless we were the same size, then it would be equal shares. Is he taller than you OP? If so I think he is being over generous with the food portioning.

It’s unattractive because it lacks easygoingness, it lacks sexiness, it lacks charm

it is fair maybe

bit it seems so mean spirited maybe?

i like people who dish out more to others than themselves

And if there is not enough food you need to order more (next time)

the rule of a takeaway is that there need to be enough to have leftovers 😁😁😁

Does she not realise that being married you’re entitled to half of it all anyway? 🙈
Goodness £3 from her own child!

Oh FFS.

Why dont you just serve it out yourself instead of criticising and laughing at the poor b-stard.

If that's the extent of your problems with the relationship then count yourself lucky.

I dont think it ever crossed her mind that he would divorce her, and despite some less than stellar behaviour on his part she would never divorce him. I brought shame by getting divorced!

They are in their 70's, so ain't nothing changing now!#

That’s an ick…. Sure we try to split as best we can, by eye, no counting…

Imagine knowing that a primary memory you're likely to leave your kids once you're gone, is how tight-arsed you were in life. Does she really not care about that? It's very sad.

Are you planning to have children with him? If so, and if he's stingy and mean generally, that's what you can expect from him as a father.

You'll see lots of posts on here from exhausted women who feel they can't do anything right.

If they’re stay at home mums, their husband complains about the financial weight on his shoulders.

If they're part time, she's told she needs to go full time.

If she's full time, then she needs to get a promotion.

In all these cases, he doesn't outline exactly how he intends to step up because what he wants is for her to do it all. The earning and most of the childcare.

Instead of seeing her and his own children as part of the same team, he views them as a separate team, and they're taking advantage of his noble self and always draining his wallet, poor soul. Those men are stingy and selfish, and will never be on anyone's side, except their own. That's why they're always counting pennies and being pedantic.

Careful you don't end up with on of those. I appreciate it's a lot to extrapolate, but these little things can tell you a lot about a man at the beginning of a relationship. He should be looking for ways to fill your cup, not watching his shoulder all the time, making sure he gets what he wants.

Also, don't listen to nonsense about being an only child. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that this could be upbringing. Things like this are an ingrained biological personality traits.

I mean if we get something we king prawns I'm pretty pissed off if it looks like he has way more than me 🤣. My husband will have a bigger portion of rice and sauce/veg, but I want equal prawns, maybe I'm petty too! I wouldnt do it with lamb or chicken etc though!

I’d find it hard to get worked up about this. At least he’s being fair.

Hi. My ex did this. I hated it. I spoke with him about it reciently and he said he was paranoid about taking too much. It had to be even. We’ve since found out he is neurodiverse.

I presume if he gave himself more you would be fine with that? it seems perfectly normal to me we have always done it

Ha. I think a lot of people are like that and I wouldn’t think it's too much of a big deal, but in a wider context, it could indicate a stingy character. Seems to be a bigger turn off for women that it is for men.

In isolation, I'd find this quite sweet. It's just being precise and fair, surely? And I agree with a previous poster that that careful fairness like this can be a feature of autism.

If he's actually mean, and this is all about making sure you never get an extra piece of chicken, you'll see that meanness elsewhere in your interactions. But this would not bother me.

My OH is like this... if he preps veg for a roast he'll know exactly how many sprouts he's expecting on his plate.😆 He is an only child so never had to share and also never had to learn to accept sometimes you got a bit of a better deal & other times you didn't!

On the other hand, someone who understands what 50% of the chicken looks like may also understand what 50% of the housework looks like. I don't think this tells us all that much either way.

Well she wouldn’t be happy for sure if she found out he could take half her cash 🤣

It would not bother me. I'd think he has previously been criticised for not sharing well so is now quite conscious of making things fair.

I am fairly sure it never crosses her mind. In her head she is right and the rest of us are profligate fools, except my father when it benefits her. For example when we were kids if we needed to take the train, before Father could afford a car, it was the cheapest tickets possible as she was paying (he couldnt afford to!). Now he pays and she will happily take the first class he pays for.

She still to this day will say something like "Oh we dont need pudding do we?" if we are eating out and my BIL always stops her with "No Janice (NHRN) we could all do with shifting a few pounds but I want pudding so I am having it!". Food and money are both big "tight" triggers for her.

I'd order something different for myself.

Irritated. I always make sure I get most.