AIBU to worry my 15-year-old son will stay short?

[Peonytimeguys]

I know it matters to him. He will say something (about how the girls tell him
height is the most important thing for them!) and then clam up but he internalises it, I know- he keeps expecting another growth spurt but who can say that will happen.

i know all the right things to say and I say them. I reflect on how it doesn’t matter, that it’s important build a life on better, less shallow values than how we look. Equally (yes I know therein lies contradictions) I tell him how gorgeous (he is, genuinely) looking, smart, funny and a good person he is. And kids are cruel and school is brutal yada yada

But inside I do think the world is brutal, harsh re what women go for (even the dating apps have height filters) and as much as I try to reject the nonsense, my heart hurts that he will be judged and rejected in love etc - even though I fully realise there are many reasons we get judged, height is just one of them!

He is 15.5yrs, 5ft 6. He shot up about 6 inches in a year - was always on the v short side now less so. Late developer? No facial or underarm hair. Dad is 5ft 8, im 5ft 3. His feet aren’t big

👏👏👏

OP your son is not short for his age. My DS is 15yr and 2 months and is 4ft 10 inches so 8 inches shorter than your son. I took DS to the GP a few weeks ago and he has been referred to a specialist. He said however that they likely nothing wrong with him, he is just going to be short. I am 5ft and DH is 5ft 10.

My DD is 18 and is 5ft 2 and my other DS who is almost 17 is only 5ft 6. He isnt even the shortest in his class.

My DS15 is only entering puberty now, he has no facial hair and his voice hasnt broken, no hair under his arms and only starting to get pubic hair. He is likely just a late developer like me (I didnt get a period until I was 17). However just in case there is an issue and because he is right at the bottom of the growth chart he is being referred.
They will x ray his wrist to check the growth plates and if they are still open, I expect nothing else will be done. Children dont get growth hormones unless they are not producing them.
Your son sounds like he is developing normally and will just be on the shorter side.
My GP said in his opinion my DS will probably end up about 5.6-5.8. My GP is 5ft 8 and told my son it never held him back, he is married with 4 children and a doctor!

Another couple of thoughts, if he's sporty, there are some sports/team positions where being smaller can be an advantage (thinking track cycling, cyclocross, some martial arts, gymnastics) so something like that could build confidence and get him seeing his stature in a positive light. Also, just be careful he doesn't slip down the manosphere hole where boys are told women only want rich six-footers - that kind of toxic disdain for women becomes self fulfilling. You sound like a lovely mum and I'm sure your boy will be just fine. 💕

I couldnt agree more. My DS (see post above) cries over his height. He is starting to like girls now and does suffer from confidence issues over this. I wouldnt mind but he is so handsome and funny and great at sports but his focus is on his height because so much emphasis is put on it for boys.

Then I guess your DB is one of the minority.

It’s not all children, it’s just generally. The chart I linked to says that it is reasonably accurate for 9 out of 10 children.

And the paediatrician’s comment is based on years of experience and medical training I assume.

Oh I know and we’re both conscious this isn’t a diet for life - we try to be as balanced as possible. He’s very slim and has always been a picky eater so he won’t eat things like avocado or other high calorie ‘healthier’ options. In his favour he does like fruit and vegetables (he’ll eat a pepper like an apple!) and they’re freely available at meal times. I guess there’s always a trade off.

We were told around two years of growth for the long bones etc, after periods start is about the limit, although I did grow for slightly longer than that. This was by DD’s paediatrician, she also grew for slightly longer than two years post periods starting at 12, but she stopped growing at 15.

My dad is 5.7 he's had no trouble finding women in his life. Quite the opposite.

I think the height thing filters out a lot of the shallower women. I only know a few women who are weird about height and funnily enough they're the ones struggling to settle down. Whereas my friends who weren't bothered about height or willing to compromise for a good man are all happily married. Some to short men I should add.

I genuinely think height for men is like bust size for women. There's an assumption bigger is better, but the reality is people like all different sizes and some just arent bothered about it at all.

My mate was about 5 6 when we left school. Didn't see him for about 5 years (differentcolleges etc) , then bumped to each other one day, he was 6ft. It was really weird!
My son is 19 and recently had to have an xray, the doc commented that he's still got growth space.
I gather boys can keep growing well into their 20s.
However, 5 6 is ok for a bloke, isnt it? Just not tall.

The 'mid parental height formula' would estimate he's likely to end up around 173cm / 5ft 8in, same as his dad.

I am 5ft 4 my husband is 5ft 6. Son didn't stop growing until 18/19 and is 5ft 9
Sounds like your boy has more maturing to do and this could easily bring a couple more inches to his height.

but if he stays at 5ft 6 then that's his lot - so you need to learn to put it aside.

I've always been surrounded by shorter men - all very successful.

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but while nutrition itself can't make someone grow beyond their genetically determined limits, making sure he's getting a really nutritious, well-rounded diet will help him reach his maximum genetic height. Protein, calcium and vitamin D, zinc and more. Plus exercise and adequate sleep.

Would you be happy if your son wanted to undergo limb lengthening surgery OP?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/aug/17/being-short-is-a-curse-the-men-paying-thousands-to-get-their-legs-broken-and-lengthened

Warning, link contains graphic image

I’m sorry but 5 6 at 15 is not short. He’s not a giant but he’s almost certainly going to get at least a couple of inches and be a perfectly reasonable height

You’re not unreasonable to worry. Yes it’s entirely possible for short men to live happy, successful lives including romance, but generally speaking, short men are less respected by both men and women, and less attractive to women.

It’s all very well telling him to be confident and focus on personality, but it doesn’t change the facts. And minimising the challenges he may face by insisting “it filters out shallow women” may make it worse and lead him down a path of misogyny where he thinks negatively of any woman who rejects him. So yes I’d be worried.

I don’t think it follows that he will necessarily grow, unfortunately. There are always outliers. There seem to be different ways to calculate height involving regression to the mean. One way is the sum of both parents’ height + 13cm / 2, for a girl you deduct 13cm.

There is another site that offers calculators eg https://www.calculator.net/height-calculator.html?ctype2=metric&ptype=2&mcheightfeet2=5&mcheightinch2=2&fcheightfeet2=5&fcheightinch2=10&mcheightmeter2=160&fcheightmeter2=167&x=Calculate#parentonly

That’s terrible.

I despair of the dreadful world of people ‘marketing’ themselves on looks when they may be dull AF. Nothing to say for themselves.

The men I’ve always found attractive are the ones who couldn’t give a shit what people think of them. It’s always personality for me. Great energy, kind, unconventional, uninhibited, witty (would be bored to tears by someone who isn’t funny), interest in the world, love of music, nature, considerate etc etc.

A “guy in finance, 6’5”, trust fund” etc would be like hell on earth for me 😂

If he’s not hairy then probably not done growing. Make sure he’s sufficiently fuelled with food etc especially if he’s very active, as underfuelling can cause growth restriction.

It is unfortunately true that short men face prejudice (yes, that is exactly what it is) and tall men are automatically seen as more desirable. They are likely to earn less over their careers (all but one of the TOTO/C Suite men I’ve known have been tall)and if they do do well for themselves they will be said to have short man syndrome (how I hate that term), so they can’t win whatever). I just don’t think that growth hormones and surgery are the way to fight it.

It's about installing confidence in him. Given dad's height he's unlikely to hit 6ft and yes teenage girls (even some young 20 somethings) will say they prefer tall men. But it's a preference like anything and only a single attribute which he has no control over.

Boys typically don't stop growing til 18 some til 20. It's about reassuring him that relationships form on multi level aspects and height isn't a key one to most women!

My son was the smallest, skinniest kid in the school
for years. At 16, he still was. He didn’t have facial hair and his adult teeth were late coming through. He then shot up around 18-now he’s 5’11 in his late twenties and taller than a few of his old classmates who used to josh him. Don’t make a big thing about it or put your sympathy face on. Tell him he’ll grow more and that having a personality is more important for women. I knew the most ugly men who had gorgeous girlfriends because they were funny and affectionate.

My husband is 5ft8 max I met him when we were in secondary school and he was always one of the shorter lads, didn't stop him from snogging half of y11 and lower 6th!

Your son needs to focus on other things that he can control that might attract girls if that is what he wants. Smelling nice, being funny are always a winner no matter his height!

Discussing what with the GP, exactly? Mumsnet is mad sometimes. No wonder the NHS is on its knees if people think you can see a GP or get growth hormones for their child being [checks notes] a normal size.

5'6" would be well within the normal height range for an adult man, let alone a 15-year-old boy. What the fuck do people think the GP's going to do? Prescribe him a set of stilts?

OP, your son is a very normal height now and is going to be a normal height as an adult. My guess is that he's going to be somewhere between 5'8" and 5'10" as an adult, which is a completely normal height and not one that anyone is going to look at and think 'Oh look, a short man'.

I remember a boy at my A level college who grew about 3in over the summer break. My rule of thumb for boys is to take half the difference between mum and dad’s height and add it to the dad’s, that will be their final height. So I would predict about 5ft 10 for you son. This predicted both of my son’s heights perfectly. He likely will have a growth spurt between now and aged 20.

Jesus H Christ, this website is insane sometimes