AIBU to worry my 15-year-old son will stay short?

[Peonytimeguys]

I know it matters to him. He will say something (about how the girls tell him
height is the most important thing for them!) and then clam up but he internalises it, I know- he keeps expecting another growth spurt but who can say that will happen.

i know all the right things to say and I say them. I reflect on how it doesn’t matter, that it’s important build a life on better, less shallow values than how we look. Equally (yes I know therein lies contradictions) I tell him how gorgeous (he is, genuinely) looking, smart, funny and a good person he is. And kids are cruel and school is brutal yada yada

But inside I do think the world is brutal, harsh re what women go for (even the dating apps have height filters) and as much as I try to reject the nonsense, my heart hurts that he will be judged and rejected in love etc - even though I fully realise there are many reasons we get judged, height is just one of them!

He is 15.5yrs, 5ft 6. He shot up about 6 inches in a year - was always on the v short side now less so. Late developer? No facial or underarm hair. Dad is 5ft 8, im 5ft 3. His feet aren’t big

Don't worry!!!

So true. Zendaya is literally a queen and she’s chosen him when she could have anyone and she’s famous in her own right so it’s not even for the money or the fame. Just googled Tom Holland and he’s 5ft 8. Your lad will be fine.

Google The Mid-Parental Height Method (Genetic Potential) and try that for a rough idea

I understand op, my son would have loved to be taller. In my family I’m the shortest at 5ft4 but some of them are over 6ft so the ‘silly’ family members told him when he was little he’d be tall, so when he wasn’t it got to him.

I think in my family, we are now NC with these people, it is actually a thing .that we are looked down upon for being shorter :(((

Anyway he is in his 30s now and a similar height to your son. Reached that height at a similar age to your son.

Indeed. People's heights are heavily determined by their sex. As a rough rule of thumb, you can take the difference between the dad's height and average male height, and the difference between the mum's height and average female height, then average those two figures. Both OP and her DH are about an inch shorter than average for their sex so their DS will be similar, give or take an inch or so to allow for recessive genes.

My husband is 5ft 7 and I am 5ft 9. He would have wished to be taller sure, and I always wished I hadn't had A cup boobs my whole life (I am not skinny just very flat. My belly has more to it than my chest). I totally get that these things matter a lot when you are young and dating. Even as an adult he gets the occasional short joke and he finds it tiring. But it hasn't held him back from a very fulfilling and rich life. There are times on cramped planes/ coaches I've even envied him a bit for his comfort. I fell in love with my husband for his many wonderful qualities, his kindness, his smile, his confidence and optimism, the way he went out of his way to help a stranger on one of our first dates. Your son will have a very fulfilling life too, no doubt with some knock backs dating, because women can fetishise height in the same way as men can fetishise big chests. But when he makes that connection I suspect it will be a deep meaningful one. Shorter men are significantly less likely to divorce :)

I don’t really know how the whole height / genetics things works because my
parents are 6foot. 5’7” and I’m 5’6” and my brother is 6’4”. I wouldn’t have minded an inch or two more but it seems my brother has hogged all the height in our family. My DD is 14 and over 5’7” but my friends son of the same age is shorter than me and honestly looks about 12. I just trust that he will be catching up in the next couple of years and I anticipate will be a quite a looker. What’s not attractive is the officious tone that some shorter men develop which I assume they perceive as making up for their short height.

I can't believe people are saying to get medical intervention when he is 5ft 6. That isn't short. My wonderful dad was only 5ft 5 and though he considered himself short, he did very well in all things, including love. At 15 he probably will grow more but really we all have something we don't like about our looks. I'm a size 18 and I know society says I should be a 8 or a 10 but also never struggled in love! And at school people spat at me and called me ugly but I still manage to be happy and stable as an adult.

He will be fine.

Growth hormone is released during sleep so make sure he gets plenty of sleep, tell him to put down devices and rest.

I am 5ft 4, DH is 6ft 1.
My family are short, DD, my Grandmother and one of my sisters were 4ft 11.
DH family are all very tall, his Uncles are all 6ft 4 and DS ended up almost 6ft 5.

But DS mate has a family set up like our one with one tall and one short side, his Mum is 4ft 11 and his Dad is 6ft and his brother and him are both about 5ft 6.

Of course 5’6 is short for a man!

5ft 6in is not that short for a man. My DH is 5ft 4in; I am 5ft 8in. DH's height has never affected his success in life, including in attracting any woman he was interested in (before he met me). Your son's height is about right considering most of us grow to a height between the heights of our two parents.

This chart is a reasonably good prediction of a boy’s height based on parent height.

https://www.rcpch.ac.uk/sites/default/files/Boys_2-18_years_growth_chart.pdf

Also, DS14 was being investigated for something by a paediatrician who asked if he had reached his father’s height yet. He said that until a boy has reached their father’s height then it is an indication that they haven’t finished puberty and still have more to grow as boys are rarely shorter than their fathers.

My DH is 5ft5 and while he is short and it has bothered him when he was younger, he is a well adjusted, happy human with an amazing wife (me lol) and wonderful children.

I think worrying about it is not helping him, instead support him. It may be awkward in this society (especially as a teen) to feel like you’re not living up to standards, but he is not flawed because he’s ob the short side.

Try not to worry. And don’t mention it to him or suggest he sees a doctor! He’ll get anxious about it.

Kids develop at v different ages. At 15, my youngest was short, slight and no facial hair. In his football team, he looked two years younger in height and build. Now late teens, still little barely shaves but now about 5’11” (taller than his dad and older bro) and will prob end up taller: my older DSs carried on gaining height (at a slower rate) until about 20.

My bf is 5’4”: shorter than me. I barely notice. Broad shoulders (lifts weights), big personality, good energy, v funny, kind. A friend is also short (about 5’ 5”) and slight. V attractive both personality and looks. Talented footballer. His gf is petite, shorter than him and they look great together.

Danny de Vito’s 4’10”. Cool as. Al Pacino 5’6”. Iggy Pop 5’6”. Lionel Messi 5’7”.

Finally, while they work for some, IMHO dating apps are transactional shite. Like dreadful catalogues. Selling lies. Much better to get out and meet people IRL. If you’ve got good energy, good fun and are kind, people will always want to hang out with you. Plus, lots of women are petite, so tall men may not suit them. And if people are so shallow they only look at height, would he want to be with them?

Not always.I reached the height i am now aged 11 as did my daughter. On the other hand a friend of mine ( male) left school and he was 5ft 6 by the time Christmas came round he was 6ft 1.

Your last paragraph is almost right but I thought it was worth mentioning that although being obese as children makes them grow faster as children- so they might hit and go through puberty earlier and be taller than their classmates tracked in early childhood- their final adult height will be no different to what it would always have been in their genes. It's not a way to hack your kids to be taller adults 😂

Why should being 5ft 6 be treated as a medical problem?

It's not short for a 15 year old.

I'm another one shocked that people would seek medical intervention at this point.

It is different with girls than boys. Generally girls don’t grow much, if at all, after they have started their periods.

Wtf? My DB never reached his father’s height. He’s 5ft 7, our father was 5ft 10. He had a perfectly normal puberty? And my DB’s wife is over 6ft!

Fucking hell!

The women on here describing a 5’ 8 man as ‘short’ and seeing that a something bad..

We have to work so hard to protect our girls from the onslaught of judgement about body shape and size. What do you think this kind of judgeyness and setting up height as some kind of desirable standard does to boys?

Are mothers of teen girls encouraging their teen girls to buy into this shit?

Don’t girls shoot up before boys normally?

He just sounds like a late developer. He should reach your DH’s height or a little taller when he’s finished growing. All you can do is support good nutrition and sleep. And don’t worry.

My friends’s son only recently had a growth spurt at 17. Before that he was around 5ft 7 - he’s now over 6 foot.

It sounds as though he still has some growing to do, it has just slowed slightly. I also grew 6 inches in a year, 15 to 16, then started my periods at 16. I kept growing more slowly until 19. My brother was the same, we were both tiny at 14.
Your ds isn’t really small for his age at the moment, it’s not an unusual height for 15 at all, but if you are worried that puberty has stalled then you can take him back to the GP to check. My DH is the same height as me, 5’8” , I really don’t think height matters hugely, and you say that both you and his Dad are slightly smaller than average, so the likelihood is that he will end up around 5’8” or 5’9” . Perfectly fine height wise, average.
Also sleep is really important for growth, so make sure he is getting plenty and not up too late.

I know, right? Ridiculous. And so much depends on genetics, including ethnicity.

Like when they weigh babies and say they’re ‘underweight’. By whose measure based on an average of what type of people?

It's short but not alarmingly so especially as it's likely he's not stopped growing and dad is also on the shorter side. Yes if there's a genuine concern about growth then seek medical help (as OP has already done!) but growth hormone comes with risks and costs an absolute fortune. The NHS is definitely not going to dish it out just because someone doesn't like how they look. I had it because I had a medical condition. I was 15 and 4 ft 6 and they still tried to persuade me not to bother due to the cost. The fact is that someone always has to be on the lower end of normal. That doesn't necessarily make it a medical problem.

Ds was always the smallest boy at school. Shot up to 6 foot 3 at 16. But then I'm 6 foot and h was 5 foot 10.
Current dh is 5 feet 8.