AIBU to worry my 15-year-old son will stay short?

[Peonytimeguys]

I know it matters to him. He will say something (about how the girls tell him
height is the most important thing for them!) and then clam up but he internalises it, I know- he keeps expecting another growth spurt but who can say that will happen.

i know all the right things to say and I say them. I reflect on how it doesn’t matter, that it’s important build a life on better, less shallow values than how we look. Equally (yes I know therein lies contradictions) I tell him how gorgeous (he is, genuinely) looking, smart, funny and a good person he is. And kids are cruel and school is brutal yada yada

But inside I do think the world is brutal, harsh re what women go for (even the dating apps have height filters) and as much as I try to reject the nonsense, my heart hurts that he will be judged and rejected in love etc - even though I fully realise there are many reasons we get judged, height is just one of them!

He is 15.5yrs, 5ft 6. He shot up about 6 inches in a year - was always on the v short side now less so. Late developer? No facial or underarm hair. Dad is 5ft 8, im 5ft 3. His feet aren’t big

I agree

there are some things that can be done if there is a deficiency of some sort, which you won’t know unless you go to the GP. If he’s not developing secondary characteristics such as facial or pubic hair he may be low in testosterone (which can be remedied). Even being anaemia can impact on teenage growth and development so surely it’s best to go to the GP and make sure that nothings being missed.

If all is ok there then yes you just accept that he isnt going to be the tallest and at 15 may likely maybe more growing to do, but I’d still get him checked as if you wait much longer there really will be nothing that can be done once growth plates have fused.

Boys often don’t stop growing until their early 20s - they keep growing their backs. My DC’s orthopaedic consultant said that.

I hope parents of girls are talking about this relatively new thing about boys needing to be 6’ etc. I find it grotesque that in the U.S men are now undergoing bone lengthening when they are already a perfectly usual sort of height.

DS16 is only about 5ft2 maybe (haven’t measured him but he’s only just taller than me and I’m 5ft0) I took him to the GP maybe last year and they said that because he was on the 0.4 centile they wouldn’t do anything. I do worry but he seems to have accepted it.

One good thing (imo) is that he is gay so will never have to worry about women rejecting him for being shorter than them!

Lots of boys/young men look very youthful until they’re quite old- my dad always cites the time he was asked for ID at 21 while his date was not. And at work (post 16) some of the boys look several years younger. Guarantee that by 30 they’ll all be shaving etc though, and have filled out. Try not to worry, just give a good diet and plenty of activity, he’ll be golden.

Online dating isn't everything. Shorter guys do end up with partners.

There are worse things. It sounds like puberty isn't through with him yet either.

Encourage his social skills.

My brother is 5ft 7 and honestly he always had a girlfriend when he wanted one. Hes got plenty of friends and I don’t think his height has ever been an issue.

Op I think it likely he will be the same height as your husband which is surely about average for a man or maybe just a little under?

But even if he doesn't grow I've observed that shorter men often appear very confident and very tall men often seem unconfident and awkward. The reason is posture! The short men are standing as straight as they can and it gives the impression of confidence and is very attractive.

He’s not really short, he’s an inch below the UK average for a boy his age, however i totally understand his worries.
Firstly like you’ve said, you can’t just get growth hormones from the Gp, a family member did, because blood tests showed he wasn’t producing enough of the hormone himself, he was tiny despite his Dad being 6ft.
With medication he has now reached his full height of just over 6ft.
I have boys of very different builds/statures, my oldest is 13 and already 5ft 6 with size 10 feet, broader shoulder and not really started puberty yet.
His brother is 16 months younger and 4ft 10 and very slight. He complains about being short everyday, not helped by his older brothers teasing…..
He had been to the Drs about something else and he mentioned his height, he was told by the GP he was exactly average and that he’s comparing himself to someone who is above the 91st centile for his height and he’s got lots of growing to do.
It’s unlikely your Son has done all his growing, my parents were only 5ft 4 and 5ft 6 my brother is 5ft 10.
Girls at this age can be horrible, but he needs to try and alter his focus. Not sure if you watch it but there was a chap on gladiators who was a teacher.
i can’t think of name but he was around 5ft 6 I believe, he was so strong and quick he came either really close to winning or getting to the finals. I pointed him out to my son, which has stopped a lot of the moaning!

Yes. Im 5ft5 and dad is 5tf7 (at a push!) . My DS is 5ft7 at 15.7 years , his voice has broken so I'm assuming thats it

5ft 6 is absolutely fine! Honestly.
Just got to embrace it.

He could have a growth spurt and focus on his attributes otherwise he'll pick up on your concern about his height.

Not all women want over 6ft men especially the short ones although they are useful for reaching top shelves in the supermarket. It's a decent caring person people want no matter what their height. He could always move to Wales loads of shorter than average people there.

I would put the focus on his health (which allows optimum growrh).
Concentrate on nutrient rich food and protein and enough carbs to allow for his energy needs.
Sleeping at least 9 hours per day - screens off two hours before bed time.
Fresh air and exercise but not crazy weight lifting competitions etc.
Oxygen saturation. Does he snore? If so check that out with GP along with allergies or asthma treatmdnts which could impair growth.

Have his vaccinations kept up to date so he is not struck down by long illnesses.

Otherwise, your son is already taller than his shortest parent. That is great. He possibly might grow taller than his Dad in the next four years.
Find some role models who are shorter. Not basketball players!
Girls are short sighted.

5'6" isn't short for 15. He sounds normal. Yes there are some that are taller but kids grow at different rates.

My ds was the same (and equally bothered by it) and now at 17 is 6'2" but no fatter. Impossible to find trousers that fit.

You can't change your ds' genetic makeup, just make sure he eats a decent diet and exercises plenty.

I'm interested in these replies based on male puberty. My son's voice broke long before any other signs of puberty. I used to worry the same as you, but he sort of grew an inch or so here and there. He is 15 and about 5'8 (possibly just under). Was always a shorter child. He's also very slim. His feet are a now a size 9.

I am 5'5 and his dad 5'8.

I do sometimes wonder the same as you (although he is not particularly short anymore) but he has so many friends or football team mates that are the same if not shorter.

Try not to worry. There are women out there who care, and women who don't.

My sister is 5'11 and has always found herself with shorter men, all under 5'9...so clearly that's what she is attracted to.

People suggesting growth hormones - they don’t hand them out like candy!!! I had to wait for over a year for my “short” son to see a specialist. What was explained to me: some children are genetically meant to be short. I’m short. My husband is. Thus my son will be. That’s his genetic destiny. Only children who are on like the 0.06gj percentile and under are eligible for GH. It’s not just a free for all!!

I saw a paediatric doctor about this as my son didn’t grow in an entire year! He was tested as is behind development by 1 year. He said come back when he is 13.5 if no signs of puberty as there are things they can do.

however I would say that 5ft6 is not ‘short enough’

Why are people suggesting growth hormones when both of his parents are short! Of course the boy will be short… At best he’ll reach his dad’s height, it’s unlikely he’ll grow much more than this. Teach him body confidence, being a short man really isn’t the end of the world.

My dh isn’t tall. I never wanted a tall guy. Girls wanting 6 foot plus stems from the media I think. I now realise I find tall men intimidating, but didn’t have the words to express that when younger. Your ds at his age very likely has some growing to do. And the girls have some growing up to do.

Oops I didn’t mean to quote.

Ex secondary teacher here.

Over they years I noticed a lot of boys finished year 11, go away for summer and then return a lot taller. Maybe see what happens by year 12 (late 16 years old). Hopefully he will have another growth spurt.

My non-scientific observations: I’m 5’ 7 and a teacher. Absolutely loads of the Y10 boys are still shorter than me. Most of them will overtake me over the next three years, but not all of them. He’s definitely not through puberty, so unlikely to be through growing.

If his dad is only 5’8” and you’re only 5’3” then I highly doubt your son will exceed his dad’s height. You’re both short so will have a short child.

There isn’t anything wrong with your son - he doesn’t need tests or growth hormones as someone suggested!! His parents are short and so is he.

If you were both 6ft then my thoughts would be different.

After years of standing out at primary, my son found a fellow shortie at secondary and it's done wonders for his confidence.

Has your son got any similar height mates OP?

Btw I think 5 6 is fine. Plenty of women shorter than him in the world if that's what he's worried about!

I'm 5 2 and never wanted a crook neck from kissing my fella standing up!

I know it’s generally true that children’s eventual height is based on that of their parents, but my family is a bit different. My mum was 5’1 and my dad was 5’7. My brother is just shy of 6ft, my sister (who sadly died) was 5’6 and I’m 5’7. So we all ended up a pretty good height, despite having a short mum and a slightly short dad! My brother was shorter than average until he was 16, then had a growth spurt, whereas my sister and I were full height by 14. Boys’ growth in particular doesn’t seem to be steady.

That aside, I do agree with those saying confidence is key. I don’t think it helps that people have a tendency to comment on children’s height. It’s meant in the nicest possible way, but they’ll exclaim ‘Oh look how tall you’ve got!’ etc. I’m guilty of it myself. And this further compounds the idea that being taller is somehow an achievement or an advantage. Our 17yo is 6’1 and looks taller because he’s thin and EVERYONE mentions his height. Our 13yo is now expressing a bit of concern that he’s quite a bit smaller than his brother was at his age. And it does worry me that, should he end up on the smaller side, he won’t think he’s as ‘good’ as his brother. It’s sad that we feel worried about this as parents. Not because of the height itself, but because of other people’s potential attitude towards our child, who we know to be completely wonderful in so many ways.

Also 100% agree. The love of my life was short. But so much confidence and personality. And also he needs a partner who isn't shallow!