What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

In South America, there was a VW Gol (not Golf) that was similar to a Polo.

Messaged my older sister 10 years after we broke up to tell her he’d always fancied her while we were together and ask if she’d be up for meeting him for sex - even though she was pregnant at the time and posting about it on the same social media site he contacted her on!

Oh that's wicked.

The silliest thing he did was pretend to have a girlfriend when he was feeling a bit jealous of my relationship. So texting me “we will take DC on holiday” etc. He hasn’t had a serious relationship since we split about 12 years ago 🤣
Hes done a lot of really nasty stuff too but I could write a book on that.

Cut his kids out of his will because wife #2 told him it's the law in her country (it's not).

This is hilarious!

😂😂😂😂

This was years ago but he learned pretty quickly I don't stand for that behaviour (we was both 19 at the time)
A little old lady who lived three doors away from us stood at bus stop in town in the pouring rain with 4 shopping bags. I said "aww let me stop and pick Beryl (not her name) up" and he said "bus will be here soon fk her". I said a few choice words & made him get out and get the bus home. Dropped her home. Unpacked her shopping made her a cup of tea.
He appeared about 40mins later piss wet through.

Absolute bell end 🤣🤣

This wins 😂😂😂😂😂😂
He obvs either doesn’t know who J Lo is or you are one of these people who claims to not watch tv or know any pop culture but really you do 😂😂😂

Made a complete tit of himself on national TV by shouting repeated insults. I won’t name the programme as I’m too embarrassed.

He also sold his house, then bought himself designer clothes. The last I heard, he was living in a camper van.

My exH was a rubbish driver, careless, arrogant and often ignoring speed limits. When he got his final speeding ticket, taking his points close to the limit for a ban, he tried coercing and bullying me to say that I'd been driving and take the points on my clean licence. He screamed and sulked when I refused point blank and wouldn't back down.

I got a letter sent to my house in his name.... obviously I was nosey and could see through the envelope.... was from the police investigating petrol theft against his car.... Lucky escape.

OMG. Is he still breathing?

Mine posted a video on Facebook of him and a 20 something friend conducting an Ayahuasca ritual in Peru. He is not a shaman, and is knocking on 60.

@ThePlantPotter I’d have hired a J Lo lookalike and have him ‘bump into me having a coffee with my friend I just met at the gym recently ’ and be like ‘hang on a minute isn’t this your new girlfriend?’ I reckon if you explained the story any reasonable j Lo impersonator would do the job for free 😂 I’d deffo come and watch as I’m sure most on this thread would. Would be a hoot 😂

Need a laughing emoji. What a tit.

@GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf THIS is golden 🤣

He was the 'Jane' guy in CDWM wasn't he?

A psychologist’s dream!

Arrived to pick up DD from my house wearing a wifebeater vest to proudly display his lovebites from his new 18 year old girlfriend. He swaggered up the path grinning broadly, utterly convinced that I was distraught with jealousy, and spent the next week pumping DD (12 at the time) for details of what I'd said about it, and if I'd cried. Twat.

Got a Dexter tattoo on his arse, including a woman riding a dolphin and the word ‘sploosh’.

Screeched, ‘BUBBBBBLES!’ like a character from Finding Nemo when he was handed a glass of champagne at a nice restaurant.

Wore a sateen shirt and square-toed loafers with Paul Hollywood jeans, altogether. All on the same date.

Get thee in the bin, Sir.

OMG my worst ever DP ( and there was stiff competition) once did this after I broke up with him. He was the absolute worst parasitic cocklodger imagineable, he refused to work as the only jobs he would have been able to get he considered 'beneath him'. So he never had any money and used to pilfer food from my fridge.

Anyway, after I'd finally seen sense and binned him off, he sent me an email ostensibly from his teenage daughter telling me all about how they were now living in a lovely house and he was buying a flash car and so on. The odd thing was I'd never given him the impression that these were the sort of things that would impress me.

LOL no 😆😆😆. I do remember him though!

What a sad little life, Jane…

My kids dad is an absolute prize wanker. They haven't seen him for years and dont want to.
When the kids were younger he would frequently refuse to pay maintenance. One of his reasons for doing this was that he claimed I would spend the money on myself and not the kids. His proposed solution was that he wanted to send me a Sainsbury's order each week to the tune of the maintenance. With stuff like ready meals so he 'knew' they were getting a 'square meal' of 'quality food'.

Unsurprisingly CMS didn't share his good idea and moved him to collect and pay.