Am I alone?

[WartFace]

I often wonder how many other people out there are like me. I’m retired from a public sector job, as is my DH. We’re lucky enough to be comfortably off though not wealthy by most standards. It may just be an age thing, but I feel disconnected from most people’s interests and popular culture in general. I certainly don’t want to be judgemental or snobbish but I feel everyone wants to talk about travel and sport and popular culture all the time and I just enjoy quiet things! I know I’m privileged (very well educated) but I sometimes feel so lonely. Are there others out there like me?

I am still a few years from retiring but I don't really talk about any of those things OP. I'm more into books, films, gardening, yarn hobbies and women's rights stuff.

Adult DD likes reading, painting, knitting, crochet, any creative activities really.
She also likes watching Love Island and often goes out in similar clothes wearing a full face of makeup.
Aren’t we all a mixture of different things, it would be boring if we were all the same.

Not sure if you want suggestions but have you looked at U3A?

I was always told that travel broadens the mind and though I don't go abroad, cant afford it but I do try and visit different places in the uk, love a museum I do. If you are looking for things to watch that fit your love of theatre I can reccomend a National theatre at home subscription, it's got some good stuff on there.
I do think that reading for fun isn't high brow, I've just finished Riders and I'm about to start Rivals Jilly Cooper bonk busters for those that don't know. A friend of mine reccomends the Ice planet barbarians series which is not one for the faint hearted, seriously do not look that up. You could argue that time spent decorating is more worthy than time spent reading that.

@Ace56 I suppose I’m thinking about all the evenings in the pub when I don’t feel I have anything to share with the perfectly nice other people there.

@Puddlewoman I didn’t say I love the theatre (I don’t) and I didn’t say anything about reading highbrow books.

@Pandorea I have, and I find it a bit earnest and highbrow for my taste! That’s what this thread is about, I suppose. I just feel a bit like a freak when it comes to everyday life!

Have you tried sharing what you feel with these people though? Someone may have very similar likes to yourself.

@Fairyliz Absolutely, but it’s not allowed to say you find popular culture isn’t for you!!

Now you're just being silly.

Of course it's allowed.

Unless you think you're the only person in the world who isn't keen on it.

@emuloc Thank you! Yes, that would be so much better than being grumpy. I’m sure they’d be a lot less judgy than some people here.

@swqa Not allowed by some on Mumsnet, I should have said!

@RaininSummer Do you ever feel a little disenfranchised? It’s probably just one or two of us!

@frozendaisy I never mentioned highbrow, that was you.

You're making this thread very difficult to follow OP by not using the quote button or C&P.

People are having to scroll up and down to read the posts of all the people you're tagging and replying to.

Oops, sorry! I live and learn.

Is what you're trying to say that you feel left out or isolated because you dont know people who are more like you?

OK, I think I know what you mean, but as the thread goes on you might bullet point the things you like and the things you can't, won't or don't engage with. I am similar in a lot of ways. I am a solitary individual, I've lived alone since I bought my first house at 28 and am now 68!

So while I like solitude, I do mix it up with other activities, but only those things that I know won't irritate or annoy me too much! Do any of these resonate with you OP?

I like looking out the window at the garden, the birds, the flowers, the changing sky, the trees, that kind of thing. I think I must meditate or something as I go into a bit of a "zone" while doing it!

Researching history on internet. I spend hours doing that. I am planning a little trip to Belgium soon to see Ghent and the battlefields around Ypres. Not many are as interested as I am, but my brother is, and he will come with me and we will have a great sibling "bonding" few days.

Reading, like you enjoy. Although I have to say these days I prefer someone to read it to me in audio format, and the narrator can make or break it! I enjoy history and biography, not so much fiction, although I have been known to read it!

Going off on my own for day trips or long walks. I don't need anyone to accompany me and sometimes when they do, they can irritate me as they don't seem to appreciate the beauty around them. I never say anything of course, as I enjoy their company!

There are lots of free concerts in my city over the Summer, just bring your sun hat and your water bottle and enjoy. Always great and lots of fellow feeling even if I'm on my own.

Pubs and late nights are long gone. Only for a wedding! Not missing much.

And so on.

I don't know if I've interpreted your posts correctly. But let me know.

Yes, I suppose it is. I can see that I made a big mistake talking about reading in lockdown. Should have said that I was surprised so many people I knew didn’t have anything much in their lives that was available in lockdown.

In my experience, most people are a balance. We sometimes like to read and do quiet things, we sometimes like to get out and about and be sociable. We enjoy galleries and museums, politics, history, but might also watch something light on the TV. We sit quietly in our back gardens and we enjoy travel.
The trick is to connect with people at the point of mutual interest. So just because a person was dancing until dawn at an ABBA tribute last weekend, don't rule her out for a woodland walk and a good chat about a book next weekend.

Yes, indeed you have. I think we share many interests. My sister is just back from her annual pilgrimage to Flanders! There are lots of likeminded people around but not necessarily locally. I should have mentioned that I moved to a remote rural area shortly before losing my driving licence on eyesight grounds but I can’t blame anyone for that!

I couldn't disagree more OP, when I go to a lecture, gallery, concert or even a visit to the library/charity shop bookstore I find fascinating folk to chat with. More so at an historic site or houses!
I admit I don't stray into social media content such as sport/beauty/fashion and watch very little TV, but even when I meet people with different interests I still seem lucky enough not to find them 'boring'.
Most folk are really nice I find and I've learnt a wealth of local history from the most unlikely encounters.
Sometimes a random chat at the bookshop ends up over a coffee in the cafe, what's not to love!

I don’t think I said I found other people boring. Only that I feel disconnected from the majority. I didn’t mention in my original post that I can’t drive and live in the country so probably I’m quite limited in the numbers of people I see face to face.

I’m very confused OP. I’m not understanding your post at all.
I have gathered you like reading and quiet/solo activities. That’s ok, absolutely lots of those you can do. And if you want it many many like minded people to be a quiet or chatty companion for them.

It actually sounds to me like you have zero curiosity or interest in anything so a book is a way to hide from life. Is this a symptom of civil service life, never taking responsibility and always being safe? That’s not a judgement, it’s a genuine question that’s come to mind reading this.

it’s sad you don’t want to do anything or experience anything or share anything. You are the one preventing it, it’s your disconnection with the world. What are you fighting and why?

My reply crossed with your answer here.
ok, but you have said you aren’t on the breadline so you can go out of your village scenario. Villages are also easier to meet likeminded people for quieter activity.

why not get a dog?