Am I alone?

[WartFace]

I often wonder how many other people out there are like me. I’m retired from a public sector job, as is my DH. We’re lucky enough to be comfortably off though not wealthy by most standards. It may just be an age thing, but I feel disconnected from most people’s interests and popular culture in general. I certainly don’t want to be judgemental or snobbish but I feel everyone wants to talk about travel and sport and popular culture all the time and I just enjoy quiet things! I know I’m privileged (very well educated) but I sometimes feel so lonely. Are there others out there like me?

This thread just screams “I think I’m better than everyone else”. Just live your life instead of criticising others 🙄

Yeah people saying they don’t have time to are probably too scared to say they just don’t want to because you act as if it’s the be all and end all. And maybe they don’t have time because they’re doing other things that they enjoy more. Or doing nothing. Who cares!

Some of have absolutely loads of friends and spend our time entertaining in the home, going for meals, enjoying a drink in local, days out with the kids… God we are vile aren’t we

@TheBlueKoala That is very inflammatory! I know from long and bitter experience that if you’re you’re bright and educated and fail to make yourself smaller you will trigger a lot of insecure people.

Don’t often do this but read some of your 2025 threads. I prefer audible these days tbh

I’m not why being educated means you can’t enjoy popular culture (music, television, cinema, theatre, books, travel, etc.)?

My friends and I are all well educated and enjoy engaging and talking about all these activities amongst other things. We enjoy getting together socially though.

I think you’re conflating your lack of interest in socialising with other people’s interests in popular culture and I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive.

This is the most pick me, not like other girls post I’ve seen on Mumsnet recently. Do you want a pat on the back because you’re ever so different?!

It’s nothing groundbreaking that you enjoy ‘quiet’ things in life. Lots of people do. Reading, gardening, knitting, crochet, hiking etc are all popular pastimes so I’m truly surprised you haven’t managed to meet anyone else as oh so refined and intellectual as you (could it be because you’re insufferable so no one wants to be friends with you?).

TV, celeb culture, social media are also popular pastimes. Living your life one way over another doesn’t make you any better than anyone else.

What was even the point of this post? Are you not feeling validated in real life?

@BauhausOfEliott Did I say ‘more valid’? I think you’re making a lot of assumptions and projecting hugely.

You should cultivate some curiosity and see social connections as a way to experience different world views. No two people are alike.

I think there are a lot of us out here like that, OP.
On gloomy days it crosses my mind that my funeral will be an extremely quiet affair but, while I'm actually alive, I'm really very happy in my quiet little world.

The judgement in these posts towards people who enjoy different things to them is strong!

I’m a relatively quiet person who enjoys reading a lot and I don’t enjoy sports particularly. However if someone doesn’t like reading, that’s absolutely fine because they enjoy different things that are
no more or less valid.

Just because someone likes to renovate and redecorate doesn’t mean they aren’t living their life - this is what they like to do and, again, it’s completely valid.

If someone wants to get filler (as someone has mentioned in this thread), that’s for them to decide and their choice. Again it doesn’t mean they aren’t an interesting person or that they need to live more.

The world would be a far better place if we could all accept that we all like different things and that’s what makes
people so interesting.

@Cherriesandapples1 I certainly don’t think I’m better than anyone else but thanks for the judgment!

I am not a person with friends, unfortunately. My best friend was killed when I was in my early twenties and it took me a long time to connect again with other like minded people. Now it's just my husband and I, plus our immediate family. Our interests don't align, he likes to cook, watches a lot of TV, I watch a lot of sport, spend time with our grandchildren, and I read every day. We do spend almost all our time together however, and I would be absolutely lost without him.
I have to admit I don't really understand the sharing of every aspect of your life online, and wouldn't be able to do it myself, if I had anything to impart! I am however, perfectly content with my lot in life although I didn't know there was a book forum on here, so I'm off to have a look!

@tiramisugelato Oh, I do. I just wondered if there were many people out there who prefer the things I do. Anyone reading a personal attack into that is completely wrong.

Lol you've given yourself quite a write-up there OP 🥇

Bizarre reply to my actual post
Do you want the social side to connect with people who enjoy your kinds of hobbies or not?
Like I said there are plenty of options available to you, if you do
If you don't want the social aspect then enjoy your hobbies and leave people to enjoy theirs

Why don't you join a hobby group with people who might want to talk about similar things or set one up?

My writing group is lovely and we actually talk mostly about books and writing, in a way that would bore a lot of people!

I do actually like football though but mostly talk to men about it.

@tilypu I would genuinely appreciate it if you could show me where I said my choice of activity was superior, so I can reword it.

@Tweedledeedledum I am so sorry about your friend. That sounds like a very profound loss.
Your life sounds very much like mine. My dh and I have never really shared interests but we have shared values and he is an absolute rock.

This is exactly how I feel! I don’t switch on my tv any more because there’s so little I’m interested in. All the theatres near me have endless musicals (which I dislike) but very little classic plays that I want to see. Not been to the cinema for about ten years. I don’t like shopping or pubs and I love cooking so unless I go to a very expensive restaurant I prefer my own food. For health reasons I can’t travel abroad but I don’t think I’d enjoy a lot of the kinds of holidays I see advertised. I’m not on social media so can’t comment on that. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Cherriesandapples1 I’m sorry - I replied to completely the wrong poster.

I don’t quite understand your post. So you’re not interested in things other people are, like socialising and travel? What interests do you have - reading, gardening? These aren’t unusual interests to have. Lots of people like these things too. Why not join a book club or a gardening club to meet like-minded people?

@EveryKneeShallBow Same here! We do watch a lot of Walter Presents etc. I think that’s because DH is in denial about his deafness and secretly needs subtitles.

Thank you, it definitely influenced my ability to make and keep friends. My dh is absolutely my rock, and we do have similar values, which I hadn't really thought about but yes, we usually agree on most important things.

All you’ve said you like is reading though.

I like reading, just finished The Great When by Alan Moore and am now reading a Jennifer Egan.

Are these high brow enough?

I am also looking forward to the World Cup (not into league football but the World Cup is different) - sport - and we need to get done things finalised when we travel to the eclipse this summer. The teenagers haven’t seen a full eclipse yet - travel.

Do what exactly do you mean these unique enjoyments? I think you might be disappointed that there are many fun, intelligent women around who like “intelligent” pastimes but can also sing football chants.

And selecting the right reading material to take on holiday takes me longer than the actual flight. I have my eye on Termination Shock (Neal Stephenson), for one.

I also paint portraits, know virtually everything about Edward Hopper and can whitter on for hours about philosophy or psychology.

And can also get pissed on cider given a sunny afternoon with no obligations debating The Traitors.

Variety is the spice of life @WartFace lighten up!