Partner on holiday with a female friend!

[Daisymay1000]

I need to ask peoples honest opinions.

my partner went away on Sunday “with the boys” I wished him off well, hope he has a lovely time etc. been FaceTiming me, sending me pics etc. then yesterday a female friend may be flying over. I said I wasn’t very comfortable with this especially as she would be staying in the same apartment. He said he wasn’t sure if she even was yet she just said she may do. I looked on her story on instagram and she was already there, had been the whole time! Tagging him in pics etc. Iv broke up with him as the lies and the disrespect for me are too much. Am I being unreasonable or over reacting? He said I was and it’s just a friend and I’m controlling. But for me I can’t imagine he would ever allow me on holiday with a male staying in the same apartment?! There’s 3 men and her.

I would be fuming.... he's lied about her being there. It may have been because he was scared of your reaction because like you say he would go mad if you went away with the girl and another man. He hid it because he wouldn't like it if its the other way around. Every relationship is different but if you've both discussed you wouldn't be happy about either sharing an apartment with a group including one opposite sex, then that's a rule he has broken plus lied about it. I probably wouldn't break up with my boyfriend permanently but I'd make him bloody sorry

Nor would most on here!

If there was nothing to it and it was just a lads holiday why didn’t he say up front. Do they have history? And if she was able to go on this lads holiday why didn’t he not invite you? You have done the right thing. Not only did he lie he disrespected you. I’m glad you know your worth unlike so many of the women on this site

This is a really weird comment. They were sharing a quad bike. She was not rubbing her vagina over his back!
he shouldn’t have lied to you but you sound very controlling so I can see why he did.
would I be happy if my husband lied absolutely not but I would never dictate who he can or cannot be friends with or go on holiday with.

Honestly no I wouldn’t be happy with it.

My most recent ex (only 3 month relationship) had a female friend. Instantly I didn’t like the sound of it but never showed my disapproval.

Last month, he invited me to meet his friends at his which included said female friend. She seemed lovely but the following day I received a Facebook message off her long term partner informing me that she had slept with my ex soon after I left!

Never again. I married young to a Muslim and thought it was crazy that female and male friendships were discouraged. Now I see why.

Come to think of it, all of my straight male friends I had while younger tried it on with me at some point, especially when alcohol was involved!

Absolutely agree with this

Would OPs boyfriend be happy with her if she had lied about an all girls holiday and then shared a quad bike with said male friend? I highly doubt it.

I'd block him on all socials and drop his stuff back at his parents house.

The lying would be the deal breaker for me and the fact he allowed her to get 'handsy' at any point. I have male friends, husband has female friends but we would never cross the lines like that.

I'm an old lady, so you're getting a very biased opinion. I was engaged to a guy (late 1980's) who turned out to be incredibly dickish and cruel. When we were dating he had a few "great" girl "friends only." Turns out that he was banging every single one of them. Gross!!

He love bombed me to death, so of course I had on those rose-colored-glasses. He went on vacation with these "friends" as well. I knew about those trips and I trusted him. When we broke up, he said it was because of my insecurities, NOT his. He also said that he was grossed out by my cellulite. I was 5'4" and 110 lbs! I was so devastated and hurt, but with the help of my family and friends, and a lot of booze, I survived. (I gave up the booze a long time ago, but I kept my family and friends ;-) .

Lying by omission is still lying. Protect your precious heart and stay away from that man child.

BTW, in my lifetime, I’ve known both men and women who have been unfaithful to their partners. It's still very much a universal problem. Wishing you the best, you're gonna be okay! XOXO.

She’s winding you up, don’t rise to it. Personally I’d tell my ex that if he wants you back he’s going to need to show you that he’s serious with you and pix like those she’s flaunting will not help him. She’s basically a Trollope and he’s lapping it up gst in between them so
she doesn’t get him then dump his arse after hes
come crawling back.

Just pointing out what is quite common in these situations

It's not ok. Sorry x

You are absolutely right. Dump his sorry ass.

he lied to you.

and those gullible posters saying “don’t worry, it’s not only those 2, there are other men there, think again!

I’ve been in these set ups where the guy is asking the other guys to cover for him, whilst he smashes the other women like his life depends on it, whilst the other guys are down the pub, out, or even inside the flat but watching TV/playing Xbox loud.

the fact he’s lying about this woman proves he’s having sex with her/wants to.

I know plenty of women who’d be up for a 3-way. Openly brag they are up for group sex. Men just say every hole’s a goal.

probably explains why she’s so happy. In the slag’s mind she is “popular” with men.

I assume you mean her vulva

Reading this thread, I'm starting to wonder whether some posters are so determined to prove they're not jealous or controlling that they've completely overlooked the dishonesty.

The issue isn't that there was a woman on the trip. The issue is that the OP's partner appears to have known she was there and didn't tell her. I'd be far more concerned about the omission than the female friend.

This man knew he was doing something that his partner wouldn't be okay with and rather than talk it through with her, he lied and is still lying.

OP has also said that he wouldn't be happy if she went away with a male friend. So what's good for the goose and all that.

I;m 74, married 53 years. I've always had male friends cos I am qualified in what then was a "male" profession. I attended mainly male conferences, worked with almost entirely males, and got on well with them all. Once married I slept with no-one other than my DH and as far as I know none of the men I worked with slept with other women. As a result I kept those male friends all my life and know their wives and families well. I'm even godmother to some of their kids. My DH never once suspected me of "foul play" with these fellas and was quite right not to, nor did any of their wives suspect anything either - cos there was nothing to suspect.

My DD had a boyfriend from age 23 to 30, who proposed to her in the seventh year of the relationship. Three weeks later he was on a stag do overseas and on the lads return they met in the local pub with their wives/girlfriends. My DD's fiance was sitting apart from them all and when my DD said to the gang "What's Joe up to on his phone over there?" the lads said he'd been on it all the time they were away. She went up to him and over his shoulder saw him type "I love you so much" to a woman. No, he hadn't taken this woman abroad on the stag do but had been conducting a relationship with her before, during, and now after the trip. The noddy told my DD "it didn't mean anything". Needless to say, she ditched him there and then.

She went on to meet another man a couple of years later, is happily married to him and is expecting their first baby. He also had been cheated on by an ex-fiance. The DH isn't a high earner (my DD earns more than him), the previous fella now earns £250k a year) but he's by far the better pick in my book.

Get rid - and be more choosy in your partners in future. Trust is MAJOR.

And ignore those posters who say they wouldn't have an issue with what your fella did. They haven't been through it.

Yeah, that's the main issue here 🙄

It’s the lying about it…he said she might be coming out , and that it was only a possibility, while she was already there from the start, If he has to lie, that’s the problem.

He has picked her over you. If this man/boy was in love with you, he would be begging for your forgiveness, and he would be on a flight home to fight for your relationship. He is still with her, there are pictures of them on a motorbike...he doesn't give a F.

I expect that in the next month, there will be a Facebook post that they're in a relationship.

The holiday woman's vag must be worn out, it's mentioned on this thread so often.

But you broke up with him so they’re both single at this point?

I also think you put so much more emphasis on her doing this to him when he’s the one who owes you commitment and respect, not her! If this is going on and photos are being taken, he’s hardly batting her away is he!

Did he by any chance meet her at boxing. Boxing camps are notorious for inter shagging.

And that’s literally all that needs to be said. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

It's not her that's the issue.

The issue is that he lied and hid this from you.