Partner on holiday with a female friend!

[Daisymay1000]

I need to ask peoples honest opinions.

my partner went away on Sunday “with the boys” I wished him off well, hope he has a lovely time etc. been FaceTiming me, sending me pics etc. then yesterday a female friend may be flying over. I said I wasn’t very comfortable with this especially as she would be staying in the same apartment. He said he wasn’t sure if she even was yet she just said she may do. I looked on her story on instagram and she was already there, had been the whole time! Tagging him in pics etc. Iv broke up with him as the lies and the disrespect for me are too much. Am I being unreasonable or over reacting? He said I was and it’s just a friend and I’m controlling. But for me I can’t imagine he would ever allow me on holiday with a male staying in the same apartment?! There’s 3 men and her.

I’d be thinking he’s got something to hide because he lied about when she was arriving.

Maybe OPs boyfriend just didn’t want her to go…

You said it yourself - everyone is different.
I have never talked to female friends about any of the things on your list apart from children, and even that not for several years.

You are allowing them to wind you up, and you’re focusing on the female friend rather than your ex’s lies. Your anger is directed at the wrong person. You’ve split up with him which sounds like it’s definitely for the best. Don’t let it consume you.

Is it her rubbing her vagina all over your partner or is it just her sharing a quad bike with him?

I am not saying it’s OK to lie about her not being there — it’s not. It’s also the right reaction to dump him.

BUT I do think that men and women can share spaces (and quad bikes!) without fucking each other so without the lies this would be an extreme reaction

The way OP describes this other woman makes it clear she thinks the woman is the problem.

like I stated. Not whilst begging me back

Absolutely not. I still all his things obviously so will have to see him to give those back now iv kicked him out but no chance in fucking hell I’d take him back. The sheer audacity of this whole situation whilst begging me back is crazy. Even told me she had gone home this morning then I find out she’s still there AGAIN.

But why are you entertaining his begging when you can see he has nothing but contempt for you?
Are you considering a reconciliation?
I don’t understand why you don’t block him and move on thanking your lucky stars you found out reasonably early that he’s a liar.

Because I still have to get all of his things out my home as we live together?

So do you feel it’s appropriate and would you be comfortable a woman doing that with your partner knowing you are already arguing over her behavior and being there? Just curious. Making sure she films the hand to let me know it’s him

@Daisymay1000 Then for the sake of your sanity it may be advisable to message him to tell him on return from his holiday to text you with a couple of times he’s available to collect his stuff and you’ll tell him when it’s convenient. Maybe start packing his stuff so it’s a smoother process and he can be in and out quickly.
Until then, I’d advise you block them both on all social media so you aren’t even seeing what they’re doing.

Actually you don't - if it's your home just put them outside and be done with it all.

However, based on your prior threads, maybe take a little time away from the dating scene, especially if you're living with this guy after your experiences towards the end of last year.

Take some time for yourself and come back stronger, knowing your worth and avoiding these dickheads

You seem to be blaming her a lot but not him. Is he unable to say “No thank you, I’d rather you don’t clamp onto my back with your vagina”?

Literally block him and throw all his stuff out right now if he lives with you. Or better yet burn it. What you tolerate is what will continue. Don't let him relish in making you jealous, he clearly doesn't have strong feelings for you and you deserve better.

Does he not know that she's posting pictures on social media?

OK this is really outrageous. A second lie about it is beyond the line tbh. Forget if men and women can be friends, he’s disrespecting you and treating you like you’re thick by lying again.

Pack his things and give him a time and date to collect it.

And then in a later post you refer to him as your partner. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Haven’t RTFT but @Daisymay1000 is the house rented/owned in joint names or just yours?

Im sure PPs have mentioned that if the property is on your sole name you can change the locks so although you’re keeping his belongings safe and not throwing them out, he can’t get back in without your consent.

Again, haven’t RTFT but when he sends these messages begging you not to end it, are you replying to them?

How long were you together?

Why is she rubbing her vagina on his back during a bike ride, sounds very unsafe.

Why did he lie? That would be my issue. Unacceptable. I'd have ended it, too.

You need to reframe this now, though. If he's your ex, which you said upthread, he's not your partner, and what he does is whatever. Just be done and stay done. He's a liar.

You need to stop viewing her stories as it sounds like she’s getting satisfaction knowing you're watching them with her all over your partner 😫

Mine wouldn’t be, he has his own group of mixed friends, some of our friends cross over, some of them have never met each other.

How the fuck are you living with him when you’ve known him 5 minutes?!