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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner on holiday with a female friend!

330 replies

Daisymay1000 · Yesterday 11:43

I need to ask peoples honest opinions.

my partner went away on Sunday “with the boys” I wished him off well, hope he has a lovely time etc. been FaceTiming me, sending me pics etc. then yesterday a female friend may be flying over. I said I wasn’t very comfortable with this especially as she would be staying in the same apartment. He said he wasn’t sure if she even was yet she just said she may do. I looked on her story on instagram and she was already there, had been the whole time! Tagging him in pics etc. Iv broke up with him as the lies and the disrespect for me are too much. Am I being unreasonable or over reacting? He said I was and it’s just a friend and I’m controlling. But for me I can’t imagine he would ever allow me on holiday with a male staying in the same apartment?! There’s 3 men and her.

OP posts:
crazycatladie · Today 13:20

I’d be thinking he’s got something to hide because he lied about when she was arriving.

LarksAscending · Today 13:32

Lurkingandlearning · Today 12:53

I can understand an all guys / all women holiday and partners being excluded. Those kind of holidays have a distinct dynamic.

But if the group of friends is men and women why wouldn’t partners be included? Aren’t they also friends?

I suppose it might be awkward to ask one (or more) to ditch their partners if they were disliked by everyone else. Perhaps that’s it.

I’m probably misunderstanding and genuinely would like to not

Maybe OPs boyfriend just didn’t want her to go…

secretrocker · Today 14:22

NameChangeMay2026 · Yesterday 19:54

Well, I find there's nothing like a female friend to talk with about peri, looking after elderly parents, children, sexism, and relationships. Women's experience of the world is so different to men's. Obviously everyone's different, but for me, I have far, far more in common with my female friends than with my male acquaintances.

You said it yourself - everyone is different.
I have never talked to female friends about any of the things on your list apart from children, and even that not for several years.

Teawithfrenchtoast · Today 14:25

You are allowing them to wind you up, and you’re focusing on the female friend rather than your ex’s lies. Your anger is directed at the wrong person. You’ve split up with him which sounds like it’s definitely for the best. Don’t let it consume you.

Lmnop22 · Today 14:40

Daisymay1000 · Today 10:00

Woke up this morning and on her story is her on my now exs quad bike, holding him with her vagina literally rubbing all against his back whilst the other lads had their own. Please tell me anyone that would be fine with this!!!😡😡😡😡😡😡

Is it her rubbing her vagina all over your partner or is it just her sharing a quad bike with him?

I am not saying it’s OK to lie about her not being there — it’s not. It’s also the right reaction to dump him.

BUT I do think that men and women can share spaces (and quad bikes!) without fucking each other so without the lies this would be an extreme reaction

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