Partner on holiday with a female friend!

[Daisymay1000]

I need to ask peoples honest opinions.

my partner went away on Sunday “with the boys” I wished him off well, hope he has a lovely time etc. been FaceTiming me, sending me pics etc. then yesterday a female friend may be flying over. I said I wasn’t very comfortable with this especially as she would be staying in the same apartment. He said he wasn’t sure if she even was yet she just said she may do. I looked on her story on instagram and she was already there, had been the whole time! Tagging him in pics etc. Iv broke up with him as the lies and the disrespect for me are too much. Am I being unreasonable or over reacting? He said I was and it’s just a friend and I’m controlling. But for me I can’t imagine he would ever allow me on holiday with a male staying in the same apartment?! There’s 3 men and her.

Have you not considered that they know you're checking what's going on and are doing it to wind you??

You broke up with him because of her - he's playing to that.

And holding him with her vagina?? What kind of vaginal alchemy is this?

I wouldn’t have an issue with a female friend going away with a bunch of lads, that’s up to her and you should trust your partner enough to be comfortable with this. What would be a deal breaker for em is the fact he lied to you, in my eyes there is no room for lies in a healthy relationship.

Why are you looking at her stories and torturing yourself? Block her and move on.
Someone really wise once said that the best form of revenge is to live well.
Move on and concentrate on you or this will really eat at you.

Just block the pair of them. She's an attention seeking shit stirrer. Don't feed it.

Have you not considered that they know you're checking what's going on and are doing it to wind you??

Yes, this!

Stay off both their socials and move on. He is now (rightly) your EX and can do as he likes, as can she.

Agree with PP. Block them. And remember this if he tries to worm his way back in once he’s had his fun on holiday.

That would definitely upset me too. Even more reason to be glad that you broke up with him. Block them both and don't let them upset you any more. You're well rid of him!

If there's no admin or logistical stuff you need to sort with your ex (property, kids, finances etc), then I would block him (and her!) too. Even if there is, I'd avoid looking at the social accounts for the time being, and just keep in email/message contact as needed.

I'd be angry at the situation and how he outright lied to you (so good on you for ending things!). It's not a problem having friends of the opposite sex, but it is a problem when people don't behave respectfully.

when he’s begging me to talk I don’t exactly think this is the case sorry

For me If it’s a “friend” why would she post that and make sure she got his hand in it knowing I’d see it when me and him are already arguing over it. She’s a trouble causer and exactly why I don’t like her.

In his defence, you dumped him. He is free to share quad bikes, dinner and a bed with whoever he would like. He doesn’t need your permission.

I feel like you’re going to get back together from this post. Are you considering it?

Of Course! The grovelling has to happen first though.

Kindly, OP, you were in a LDR in Sept 2025 (8 months ago) and were jealous of your partner seeing his son and his ex every day. In November a new boyfriend got kicked to the kerb for appalling behaviour. So I don’t know how long this bloke has been around but certainly not long enough to be any sort of partner, and he is also behaving badly towards you.

It seems you aren’t very good at picking men. Maybe take some time out and focus on something else for a bit and set your sights a bit higher? I’m not sure if you have kids or not but please prioritise them rather than cock for a while.

And for the love of chocolate, please get some bulletproof contraception.

He’s known her longer than he’s known you.

He knows she is posting videos and pictures on SM and that you are seeing them.

He is continuing to allow her close access to him.

Even if they aren’t sleeping together, he knows he could if he wanted to. He likes the attention and he likes that two of you are fighting over him.

Throw him back, OP. He’s not going to change for you and this will get a whole lot messier before it gets better.

Well there you go, my husband does have long rambling talks with his female friends. That’s a personality thing. Not all men are mouth breathing rocks who can’t talk about life, emotions or interests.

He’s a boxer and that means, what? That he is illiterate? Or stupid? Or only cares about boxing?

What does this mean the ‘lifestyle’ is different 😂

Girl you broke up with him! He can do whatever he wants because he’s single. I assume she was actually clothed and not actually doing anything with her vagina

Well yes she may be a trouble maker but the responsibility is on your boyfriend or now ex boyfriend to be respectful and loyal to you.

Being honest OP, if he was that upset about you breaking up with him over this and “wanting to talk” he would make sure he was well behaved and showing you he cares / loves you for the rest of the trip. Not letting her on him on a quad bike…

Please, please do not get back with him and move on

I’m also confused about all the women who say they can’t be closer to a man than women. What about your husband/partner then? Are they just for sex to you, nothing in common, no conversation beyond the sexual/romantic? No long rambling chats about interests or hobbies or passions or work? Just ‘you woman, me man, we mate’?

Yes, sorry, but you do seem to be focusing on the woman here. It’s not her fault your ex-bf didn’t tell her to back off. I mean, yes, she shouldn’t be behaving the way you’ve described when she knows a man is in a relationship, but it’s on him to set her straight and he hasn’t. If he had, it wouldn’t be a problem. Obviously he likes her attention and has done nothing to discourage her. He had something to hide in not telling you she was going on this holiday, and doesn’t seem that bothered you’ve ended the relationship. So, stop blaming her and move on - good riddance to bad rubbish and all that.

Yes I was wondering that. Can’t boxers read? Are there really people out there who think unless a man is doing an activity involving his penis he just dribbles and grunts?

You don't need to be OK with it. They don't care if you're OK with it. Your relationship is over.
You're doing yourself no good at all spying on them, imagining sexual stuff about them. You'll just upset yourself.
See your friends, distract yourself, do something nice. Because the longer you cling on to this relationship the more drama and upset will be coming your way.

I can understand an all guys / all women holiday and partners being excluded. Those kind of holidays have a distinct dynamic.

But if the group of friends is men and women why wouldn’t partners be included? Aren’t they also friends?

I suppose it might be awkward to ask one (or more) to ditch their partners if they were disliked by everyone else. Perhaps that’s it.

I’m probably misunderstanding and genuinely would like to not

I hope you're telling him to get stuffed! He's totally humiliated you.