Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

Aw no, I think a wife should packs their man’s case. Women are sooooooo much better at that kind of thing than men, they can make it all nice for them 😊

No, I dont. I dont put it away for him either. I've washed it, dried it and folded it. If he wants to leave it gathering dust on the bedside table thats his business. And, he does sometimes for several weeks.

I'd hate it if he packed mine - god knows what I'd end up taking! Imagine getting there and he'd packed the swimsuit from 10 years ago that you are keeping because one day dammit I'll fit back into it.

But the joint stuff - like getting out adapters, charging cables, sun screen - we both tend to do that - or one of us will if we happen to have a bit more time.

Errrm and why do you think he's 'a bit clueless' about doing these really simple, basic, adult things?

I say 'adult' things but of course many children and just about all teenagers manage to do it.

No, I don't. Don't remember ever doing his. I have packed for DS when he was small but he's old enough now to do his own. If he forgets something, then we buy a replacement where we are, if possible. If not he has to do without. We do work from lists though, because of the autism (DS and I), I wouldn't remember half the stuff without a list. DH manages without a list but one year he did forget to pack undies as he packed late at night after loads of meetings. He has not made that mistake again.

Lmao, no. I don't pack his bags, wash his clothes or make his lunches. I'm a SAHM so I do all those things for the kids. But as checks notes a grown ass adult, he can pack his own bags.......

We don’t have a communal wash basket. DH’s clothes are predominantly black and navy and he wears a lot of sports gear which needs washing at low temp mid week ready for the weekend. DD wears uniform with light and dark components that needs washing at weekends. I travel a lot for work so get back on a Friday night with a suitcase of light and dark clothes. We live somewhere where it rains 90% of the time and use a heated airer to dry clothes. So it’s much easier for him to do his mid-week, and me or DD to do ours at the weekend.

On the odd occasion he’s tried to be helpful by washing my clothes he’s managed to shred my underwear (by putting a bra in), shrink wool jumpers and torn silk shirts, so it’s easier to keep him away from that!

Coercive control is a serious crime and you shouldn't make a joke of it.

I said he was clueless about clothes, not how to pack a bag

I'm being absolutely serious about it.

Why are you so convinced that not packing a bag for your husband means you 'hate' him?

Who has made you believe this if not him?

With her vagina? What’s stopping you from learning?

No, it would give me the ick if he expected me to do it. He packs his own and of we are sharing a suitcase I dump stuff on the bed and he packs it because he’s more anal about it.

This was my thought too.

"wizardry with the tardis suitcase" my arse.

All he has to do is stand and watch her a couple of times.

Weaponised incompetence in full swing

Accusing people of hating their husband's is not top form either...

My DH works and provides for us - often out of the house 6am-7pm - and a lot of weekends too.

he still packs his own bags for our holidays (that I've organised and booked and done literally everything else for)

I'd expect him to actually have gym bag ready to go at all times <shrug> - especially as he goes on an ad-hoc basis?

as a one off or whatever, fair enough.

Thanks for making the struggle harder for the rest of us.

This is fucking pathetic behaviour.

Oh, lols at many responses ...

My (now Ex) DH and I were off on a party weekend with friends, smart evening wear. I sorted our 12 year old DS stuff for a weekend with my DM, my bag and frock bag. He did about 30 minutes of walking from drawers to wardrobe picking out stuff and putting it back ... somehow managed to get a bag packed. We got there and he'd packed the trousers of our DS's school uniform. The sulk of the useless w*nker, the spinning as to how this was somehow my fault, the face on him for the rest of the evening as he sat in the scruffy jeans and smart shirt, the only other items he had with him.

Note again, Ex"D"H.

Exactly this! If my husband wasn’t around for servicing the cars etc I would just call a garage! He doesn’t ‘expect’ me to pack his suitcase and doesn’t take it for granted at all! Just how I’m thankful when he does the stuff I’m not AS well equipped to do / prefer not to do

Ok I am tired and grumpy but this thread has enraged me.

It's not enough that the majority agree it's ridiculous behaviour, it should be unanimous.

"... Yes always because I don't hate my husband" what a fucking joke.

"Oh no, I don't pack... Well I do fold and put them inside the suitcase because teehee the poor eejit would bundle them all in"

"I leave them out for my wife and her wizardry"

Just ugh to all of it.

My DH is admittedly appalling at packing. Myself and DD have been teasing him about it since she was about five years old and doing most of her own packing. We still don't do it for him, I can't even imagine how he'd react to something so ludicrous. I don't wash behind his ears in the shower either, he's not my small child.

I remember 15 or 20 years ago being out for dinner with some women colleagues. They were ambitious earning 6 figure salaries and climbing fast. I was single and none of them were. They started sharing stories about their adorable clueless husbands, each trying to outdo the next describing how it they didn't portion the meals they left how he'd eat three in one sitting and so forth. I was repulsed and sadly it seems very little has changed.

Not for a work trip I wouldn’t but if we’re sharing a bag then he gets the stuff out he wants and I put it in the bag as I’m better at it. He’s in charge of gathering passports, documents, money, chargers and stuff so it’s a joint effort playing to relative strengths. Kid has packed for himself since age 10. We all help with the massive laundry push beforehand and either one of us adults would do the ironing depending who has more time.

They can do it supervised. Whyever not?

Oh he does, but he has three different suitcases and he forgot to transfer it over.

100% agree. For example, my friend says she doesn’t mind doing all the food shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing his sodding packed lunches etc etc (not to mention all the financial stuff and pretty much everything else associated with running a house apart from mowing the lawn which is his sole job) because she works part time. I wanted to say she had that the wrong way around, the reason she works part time is because she HAS to do all of that stuff because he is incompetent.