Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

So your dh packs your knickers and tampons

What insults?

You have the option to say "sorry I'm busy" but the fact so many women on here are so outraged at the mere thought of it is pathetic to be honest. What's the point in being married if you can't even ask your spouse for help?

So no bag packing. So not really comparable.

The mockery of women who take care of their DH, by choice, is astounding!

On the other hand, the amount of women here who have no shame in taking care of their DH, by alleviating stress or just to show love through kindness, is heart warming.

If nothing else, I'm always learning here!

This is the problem a lot of parents have with their children.

They'll wash, iron and fold their clothes and leave them on the bed but the kid doesn't appreciate that and just stuffs them in the wardrobe or leaves them on the floor.

Can you not see that by ironing your DH's clothes, he doesn't appreciate the value of it, if he'll just 'wreck them'?

Catch yourself on.

I’m a bit sceptical about all these 6 yo who pack their own bags, not going lie….

No. It is literally unbelievable to me that anyone does this. Even DD has packed her own bag since she was around 10.

Never. I might ask him if he has remembered certain things, like medication etc. As he does me. That’s part of being a team and caring about each other. But no he can pack his own case.

Well that is an exaggeration to make a ludicrous point isn't it ? with no real contribution, if you do everything for your husband because he is incapable then thats fine you do you, i would find a man unattractive if he was expecting me to sort clothes out for a holiday.

Absolutely not. His stuff, his responsibility. Can't even imagine suggesting it.

Absolutely not. I wouldn't know what he wanted to bring for a start. And I also pack for myself and the kids, the least he can do is pack for himself.

It's completely fine if you want to pack for your husband, of course it is. But I am glad we are seeing a change and that this is not the expectation of something to be done otherwise you're not a good wife.

DH is a grown adult, and I have more than enough on my plate looking after all the other shit I have to, for people (and pets!) who are not grown adults and therefore do need help packing a bag or booking an appointment or buying someone else a present, I'm not going to be doing all that for him as well.

Wow he's really done a number on you if he's made you believe that not running round wiping his adult arse, means you 'hate him'.

Does this sort of coercive control extend to you having to do other things he's perfectly capable of, lest he accuse you of hating him?

No, I have never packed for DH in nearly 40 years, neither have I made his packed lunches.

On the other hand, we have very active holidays, usually doing a particular sport and he will organise all the equipment and safety gear for both of us.

For those saying they've never done their partner's laundry, is it not more efficient to share a load? Like all the dark trousers or all the towels? Here it is usually me who loads the machine and pegs it out, DH usually does the ironing

Hear hear…..

My DH is in charge of all socks and underwear washing in our house. I wash everything else.

Actually, I did pack DH a bag once, I'd forgotten when I wrote my previous post.

But he was lying semiconcious on the floor, surrounded by paramedics and not really able to do it for himself.

I do
Its because he is a bit clueless about clothes and I actually even put his clothes out if we are going out together or he is going to an event so he looks vaguely decent
He doesn't expect it or get arsey if I forget and he asks for my help and is grateful
I have no issue doing it and he helps me in areas I am clueless about too.
I actually buy all his clothes as well

Similar but it's been nearly 40 years for us!

OK so we share a laundry basket so whoever puts a load on sorts through and includes anything that would go in that load. Could be me or could be him.

Each do our own ironing.

I have never packed his case for him. When DD was young and we had family holidays where we shared two cases between three, say, then packing was a shared event. But it has never been my sole responsibility.

As a man, this is how it works in my house.

I would never even consider asking my wife to actually chose what to pack, that seems insane to me. But I am terrible at neatly packing, if left to my own devices I will just about manage to fit my own stuff in a giant suitcase, which leaves no space for the kids stuff. So I usually lay everything out that I would like to take and she then does some wizardry with the tardis suitcase and makes 2/3 of the house fit into 2 or 3 suitcases!

I agree on the laundry, we have a single laundry basket and whoever happens to walk past and notice its full will put a full load on, this is a mixture of 2 adults and 2 kids clothes. No one does "their own" washing, we do the household washing.

Mine have been managing it with a picture packing list - when younger they'd just go and find/choose their things, now they are old enough they put them in the bag.

So? That's his problem

You're taking the piss...why are you ironing his clothes?

No.

But if I had to pack for him, I would keep my mouth shut. I sure as shit wouldn't admit that I had tied myself to someone so incompetent they couldnt carry out basic tasks.

This thread literally blows my mind!
No of course I haven't packed my adult husbands bags for him!
Even the kids - age 8 and 5 pack their own hand luggage.
I will pack the kids clothes and DH sorts electronics/chargers/first aid/toiletries etc

He does all the washing, I put it away.
We both work so both do 50% of household stuff.