It’s an inheritance one. I’m in a blended family, mum had two sets of kids with two husbands and now says she is thinking about splitting her estate according to who needs / deserves it most. AIBU to tell her not to do this, and just to make it equal , even though it’s her money
My mum had two kids, (my half brother and sister) with her first husband, then me and my brother with our dad.
My half siblings will likely inherit from their dad and step mum (they couldn’t have more kids) and they will leave a lot through lucky property decisions. Me and my full brother will inherit from our dad, who will leave a moderate amount, through frugality.
Could all change depending on care needs right but this is the staus quo now.
Mum had a conversation with me where she said she wants to divide her estate up according to her own logic rather than split it equally. She wants to leave…
Eldest half brother - a token amount. She feels like he’ll get a load from his dad and also has had his inheritance “from the state”, he lived in council housing for a while, bought cheaply under right to buy and gained a lot when it sold and had a grant to go to uni. He now has a house, and has always worked hard, and has two kids.
Half sister - mum wants to leave her a just under a third. Despite the fact she will inherit half from her dad and step mum (probably loads) mum feels this is cancelled out as she’s had a harder time of it, no uni, doesn’t own a house, or have a stable partner etc. Chose a cool, arty precarious job that means she’s had loads of fun and travel and rubbed shoulders with cool people, but is now ageing out of the profession, and is left with no prospects and no assets. I can see the logic of this, but it was her choice to pick a fun but precarious life and she has had A LOT of fun, if you know what I mean.
My brother - a third. Had to pay fees for uni, prioritised lots of extra study so has prestigious but medium paying job, no wife, kids or property:
Me - a third, I paid the biggest uni fees and have got a good career, but haven’t been able to afford extra study to peruse a more passionate route, as costs went up and loans down. I’ve got two kids, a partner and we own a house. Mum has mumbled about possibly leaving me less as I have a partner, but hasn’t changed her mind about his now we have kids, as they obviously cost a lot.
Obviously mum will do what she wants, but I told her in my view she should just leave her money equally, even though I’d get more if she gave eldest step brother a smaller portion. It’s not fair to penalise elder brother for growing up at a time when the state and circumstances were easier, especially when he has worked hard and half sister, who had the same easier circumstances has lived like the grasshopper who sang all summer, but would still inherit.
I told her if she does this, she will essentially be leaving eldest brother or whichever siblings she decides has already had enough windfalls, with a final act that makes them feel less loved, and that will doubtless completely fuck up our sibling relationships after she is gone.