AIBU to think my SIL was rude about my clothes?

[UninterestedInFashion]

Over the half term week we saw dh family a few times. A kids birthday party, family bbq and couple of outings to the park and pub.

I admit I’m not very fashionable , don’t really follow it and wear what I like and what suits me. For context this is what I wore each time Kids party : black 3/4 length leggings and striped vest top and converse
family bbq hibiscus pattern dress and sandals
park denim shorts and a vest top and sandals
pub same hibiscus dress (it’s very old I’ve had it years but I love it)

The first time SIL said ‘oh here’s Y2K girl’ and laughed at the dress. The second time I wore it she quietly said to me ‘a spotty dress would suit you better - polka dots are in right now’

When I wore the denim shorts she said ‘you’re brave ! They are very short ! How many years have you had those!’

When I wore the 3/4 leggings she again took me aside and said ‘let’s go shopping one day - you need some wide leg linen trousers not these leggings ! I’m surprised they even still sell them or are they vintage again ‘ and laughed?

I said to her no thanks I’m comfortable and it’s hot so I’m wearing what I like and what keeps me cool. She said ‘come on sometimes we all need a bit of a refresh!’

AIBU to think she was really rude ??? I didn’t feel hurt but just irritated.

Say to her, “we have totally different taste in clothes”. Whilst giving a disapproving look at her clothes.

Agreed! I had no idea a hairstyle had a 5 year lifespan.

I do fashion when the idiot cycle of it comes round to what I wear :D

I see both perspectives, your fashion like mine, can be from the past, but I dabble with current trends to for fun, like to mix it up. No one can rip my leggings away from me lol. I think she’s trying to help tbh. She’s doing it to your face boy behind your back so there’s that I suppose. Maybe humour her and go shopping together and see if you can like it or not she’ll learn.

Some people can get away with leggings, some can’t. I prefer an oversized long top to cover my tummy, especially at “bloating times”, but yes I do still wear them - but other clothes do hide them!!!

Personslly, I would thank her for her advice, and say maybe one day we can go out shopping,

I don’t know where you are, but some of my leggings that I got from the market, do actually make my arse look good, just don’t wear anything underneath, teamed up with one of your husbands old shirts looks good, especially with a good “outdoor” bra on.

Very rude. She’s playing power games. My mother used to do it to me all the time.

Thank you but I’m happy with who I am and how I dress.

Sounds like she’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I hope she’s bang on perfect.

Cannot be arsed with nails. That already marks me put as a very different person too.

It’s ok to want to spruce you up but not to go about it the way she did.

She.seems like the sort of run off at the mouth, overbearing influencer type you see on the Internet.

If she says anything else to you tell her to get a life. And not to bother you again.

I think, unless you have a very close relationship, it’s not okay to comment on somebody’s looks old-fashioned sense. In fact, I think it’s quite offensive

Or fashion sense. Sorry typo

@UninterestedInFashion i am with you, i wear what i like and what suits by body shape and height. I could not care what is in fashion, these so called fashionable jeans are awful and wide leg trousers that only really suit tall slim women. So i stay away from those kind of fashions that in a few years time people will say what was i thinking. Remember when V beckham wore the huge Deirdre Barlow sunglasses and then every one was wearing them. People are so gullible. I woukd ignore her.

Eyes very slowly from her head to her toes, brow slightly furrowed and ask her 'What makes you think you're in a position to criticise anyone?'.

I'm the same, wear what I like that's comfy, don't do latest style or false nails, she sounds jealous and not as confident as you , absolutely no one has the right to tell a fully grown adult what they should wear, there's too many judgy folk who think their opinion matters, newsflash it really doesn't

I don’t care if she was well meaning! The OP’s sister in law is seriously lacking in tact and your post isn’t much better. The OP isn’t trying to project any image; she’s trying to feel comfortable in hot weather.

If your sister in law can dish it out, OP, then don’t feel bad about telling her to keep her opinions & thoughts to herself in future.

I think she has some huge assumptions about her values being universal that she could do with having dispelled, because they will affect not just what she's saying to you, but how she looks at you as well.

Maybe something more along the lines of -"Look, DSiL, we have very different approaches to some things. I get that you don't want to dress like me, I don't have a problem with that at all. I'm very much live and let live. But I don't think you realise, that I don't want to look like you and don't value what you do when it comes to how I look. So please stop commenting on what I wear as though it's somehow inadequate. It's pretty rude."

"I appreciate the thought but I am really not bothered about fashion . Please stop asking/telling /commenting on my clothing, I find it annoying and I don't want us to fall out...which we will if you keep talking about it.."

She's rude, but maybe check that the things you say you've had a long time are in good repair?

I think people who wear matching sets normally look like they’re in the pyjamas 😂

They didn’t stay around for long 😂 they’ve never left the shops 🙈

Has DH maybe said something to SIL about how you dress and she's maybe trying to help?

I don’t think it is ok to ‘want to spruce someone up’ who never asked. SiL needs to mind her own business.

Well, I think you can. I think there’s a difference between looking down on someone (which is what she was doing) and wanting someone you care about to feel their best and take care of themselves.

For example, saying, “You’ve been through a lot lately. I’d love to take you shopping or something if you’d enjoy that. I think you deserve to do something nice for yourself,” comes from a place of care.

That’s very different from, “You always look drab. You need a makeover.” One is about supporting someone and helping them feel good about themselves, the other is just criticism.

This thread isn’t about that though. In the context of the thread the SiL needs to mind her own business.