Page 6 | To think parents are not teaching any independence?

Mattters291 · 31/05/2026 07:31

Matronic6 · 31/05/2026 07:22

For everyone saying using the missed bus/ phone box reason, why wouldn't they just go back to school to phone parents?

The secondaries I know of have a range of policies some zero smartphones at all, some only allow Nokia style phones, some allow smartphones to help kept in bag and some actually use smartphones actively in lessons.

Since I have heard of them coming into force 2/3 I haven't heard of any serious incidents after missed buses etc. What is a problem however is kids arranging meet ups after school which have led to fights, filled children in situations and posted it online making fun of someone, recording and mocking school staff online.

when I was in secondary school, mobiles were just picking up popularity but it was Nokia 3310s etc I can say that even without smart phones. There was fights , meet ups , high level of fights amongst different schools. Stupid trends.
Inhaling aresol cans was a recent one I seen blamed on Tik tok but all this was happening back then to.

Girasoli · 31/05/2026 07:32

I just googled it and it would apparently only be 55 minutes (I'm not very good with directions!)

ClayPotaLot · 31/05/2026 07:33

I do think our children are less independent nowadays, but because they haven't spent years wondering about their local area with their mates, not because the schools are putting draconian rules in place that take normal, everyday tools away from them.

MintyPig1989 · 31/05/2026 07:36

MrBlobbysNuts · 31/05/2026 00:03

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

Well back in the day,we didn't have to rely on apps and bus tracker services. It's not the 1980s anymore unfortunately.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:37

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2026 07:30

But it isn't totally self help, it's relying on the adults around you. Many adults won't get involved. Laws have changed, a lot of taxis are on a app and won't take children under 14, or if alone. Taxis were local, with local offices. I commented on the thread about using your front garden, there were always adults about and they'd help. The one neighbour (that tended to be us) with a house phone would actually take a call on knock on the other neighbor's door. There was no data etc laws, information was shared. Neighbours knew each other, there was people about. I've seen buses refuse children when their pass isn't working, they aren't supposed to, but do. We didn't pay bus fare under 10. There were more buses, there were ambulances. As said, there were phone boxes, with reverse charge call. There were police about, police stations. Shops would even let us go to the toilet. Train stations and public transport had more staff. I've intervened a few times when an adult man has been saying inappropriate things to school children. If kids can get out phones to film things, it does mean that the police have to respond. The police were fobbing off children being sexually harassed outside a school until they filmed it happening. It tries to be said that every generation reports things getting worse, but things aren't as safe, or helpful/supportive as when we were children. Throw in a black boy, who already looks like an adult and people are even less likely to help. I should have added that most of the primary schools and high schools of mine and my children's youth have closed, we didn't have to travel like today's children do.

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You obviously had a different childhood from me. Supportive? I was always told to just ignore bullying and had to learn to manage things on my own often. My mother didn't have room for negative feelings and was very dismissive (I've been very different with mine).

I probably would be more careful about helping a child now. People are more suspicious which makes people more wary in their responses. However, without putting myself in danger, I would still always protect a child who needed help.

OneKhakiTurtle · 31/05/2026 07:37

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

Our kids school have an off and away policy for phones, any phones in a pupil’s hand are confiscated and it is the pupil’s job to collect it after 1 week from the office.

Why would a school need to insist no phones outside of school time?

DD does afterschool study and non school extracurriculars in the school premises so it is handy to have phone for after school activities.

There is no need to apply such draconian measures banning handsets from school premises entirely.

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2026 07:37

@suggestionswelcomed you seemed to have grown up in a very rural or unique location.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:37

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2026 07:37

@suggestionswelcomed you seemed to have grown up in a very rural or unique location.

It wasn't the UK.

MintyPig1989 · 31/05/2026 07:39

Also,when was the last time you saw a working public phone box ?

frozendaisy · 31/05/2026 07:39

Fgfgfg · 31/05/2026 00:08

I work at a university. A few years ago a father complained because we hadn't shown his child how to use public transport.

Jaw-drop!

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:40

ClayPotaLot · 31/05/2026 07:33

I do think our children are less independent nowadays, but because they haven't spent years wondering about their local area with their mates, not because the schools are putting draconian rules in place that take normal, everyday tools away from them.

That is probably part of it. More likely to be latch key kids too. No before and after school care for us. If we were sick at school and they couldn't get hold of our parents, we just stayed there. If we were at a friend's place and something wasn't great, we dealt with it and couldn't let our parents know we wanted to go home. Then again, some of the things we did get up to with that independence! :-)

Dery · 31/05/2026 07:41

Another here who thinks phones should be allowed for the journey. As others have said, when i was growing up there were phoneboxes all over the place so we could ring home if need be.

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2026 07:42

@suggestionswelcomed I'm not talking about parents, being supportive, I'm talking about wider society. It seems to be rural, where you grew up. But we could even run into a local labour/social club or pub and they'd be someone who knew our family. I did just that when my friend got stuck on bunker/railings, or another friend cut her finger on a damaged slide. Those pubs and clubs have gone. Points of safety have gone.

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2026 07:43

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:37

It wasn't the UK.

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Well then your childhood isn't relevant to 'days gone by' discussions about how life has changed in England.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:44

Ponoka7 · 31/05/2026 07:43

Well then your childhood isn't relevant to 'days gone by' discussions about how life has changed in England.

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The impact of phones is universal in western countries, so it is relevant.

Outwiththenorm · 31/05/2026 07:46

Greatest risks to teenagers in the UK today aside from road traffic accidents:

Mental health problems (anxiety, depression)
Bullying (including cyberbullying)
Excessive social media and smartphone use
Sleep deprivation
Self-harm
Online exploitation/scams

Much greater risk than being punched on a train or abducted while walking home.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:47

Outwiththenorm · 31/05/2026 07:46

Greatest risks to teenagers in the UK today aside from road traffic accidents:

Mental health problems (anxiety, depression)
Bullying (including cyberbullying)
Excessive social media and smartphone use
Sleep deprivation
Self-harm
Online exploitation/scams

Much greater risk than being punched on a train or abducted while walking home.

That is one thing I am always glad of growing up before phones. At least we could get away from the bullies for part of the day. Now they can follow you home on social media or whatever.

Matronic6 · 31/05/2026 07:48

Mattters291 · 31/05/2026 07:31

when I was in secondary school, mobiles were just picking up popularity but it was Nokia 3310s etc I can say that even without smart phones. There was fights , meet ups , high level of fights amongst different schools. Stupid trends.
Inhaling aresol cans was a recent one I seen blamed on Tik tok but all this was happening back then to.

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Meet ups and fights may have happened, but they were not on the scale they can and do now. Link ups are literally being spread on Snapchat and typically happen during school holidays.
And filming people and posting embarrassing and mean spirited videos was not a thing. Social media has changed the situation entirely.

MNersSufferFromContextomy · 31/05/2026 07:48

MrBlobbysNuts · 31/05/2026 00:03

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

My opinion is you are correct OP, parents do not seem to be teaching kids independence these days. Let alone any life skills such as finances or cooking.

However, I do feel the world is far more dangerous than it was 40 years ago. Phones are an essential tool in this day and age and they should be allowed switched off in a bag during the school day.

it is inevitable that one day something serious will happen to a child that could have been prevented if they had a phone and then the school will come under fire and have to change the rules.

some of these schools can’t manage certain matters very well at all. My kids school only has a 30 minute lunch break and it literally is not long enough for some kids to queue up and eat their meal before the bell goes. We had to switch to packed lunches as my kid was getting served at about 26 minutes so was unable to barely start lunch let alone finish. Utter stupidity from the school.

Greengage1983 · 31/05/2026 07:48

takealettermsjones · 31/05/2026 00:17

My kids are not at this age yet, and I walked for 2 hours a day with no phone as a teenager, but I don't think I would like the idea of my kids doing this without a way of contacting me. People forget that "back in the day" there were payphones, which don't really exist any more.

It also depends massively on where you live - in my local area a lot of the school kids have one bus option and if they miss it, there isn't another one. This means that that 15 minute bus journey turns into an hour's walk. Not a problem as such, but if my kid took four times longer to get home than normal I'd be worried for all that time.

Yes, this. On my second day of sixth form I accidentally got on the wrong bus home (I had mistakenly assumed it passed close to my house when it didn’t). We lived out in the sticks so getting on the wrong bus meant being ending up miles from home. I wasn’t a bit worried, because I knew I could get off in a certain village that had a phone box by the village green and a pay phone in the Co-op. Nowadays you’re pretty screwed unless you go up and ask a stranger to use their phone, which most people refuse anyway as they’re scared you’re trying to mug them.

ChalkOutlines · 31/05/2026 07:49

DD’s school bus pass is on her phone. Any delays, breakdowns etc. she is notified by text. At least twice it had a 90 minute delay (going in) and once it never came at all. She was able to make alternative arrangements (and not be terribly late) because she had her phone on her.

suggestionswelcomed · 31/05/2026 07:55

ChalkOutlines · 31/05/2026 07:49

DD’s school bus pass is on her phone. Any delays, breakdowns etc. she is notified by text. At least twice it had a 90 minute delay (going in) and once it never came at all. She was able to make alternative arrangements (and not be terribly late) because she had her phone on her.

That is much more convenient but she could have found a solution if her phone was dead, for example. When I go to events I always print a hard copy of tickets. I don't trust phones not to malfunction. They're just machines and one day, it will happen.

Sartre · 31/05/2026 07:55

Fgfgfg · 31/05/2026 00:08

I work at a university. A few years ago a father complained because we hadn't shown his child how to use public transport.

I’m a lecturer and I’ve noticed it tends to be the parents who are a pain in the arse, completely mollycoddling their adult children like they almost don’t believe they’re adults capable of caring for themselves. They turn up to open days flapping and asking 10000 questions while the actual prospective student is standing there utterly humiliated.

I agree re independence. I’ve always raised my DC to care for themselves. They get dropped off at school but walk home and have since year 6. Not a quick walk either, it was about 2km from primary and almost 4km from secondary. They have made their own packed lunches since like year 4. They wash up their own plates and put them away. They change their own bedding, put their washing on, definitely in charge of tidying their rooms.

Happy for them to go out with friends for the day to different cities. DS did his year 10 work experience last year in a city about 30 miles away so got the train there and back plus navigated through the city alone. They can look after themselves tbh and this is how it should be otherwise uni comes as a real shock.

TroysMammy · 31/05/2026 07:55

We didn't have a house phone until I was 16 so no point having tuppence for a pay phone and I walked to infants and junior schools which were on opposite sides of my street and secondary also in the same village half a mile away.

Desperatelyseekinglazysusan · 31/05/2026 07:56

AliceMcK · 31/05/2026 01:13

This

And many other reasons

My children’s bus passes are on their phones as guess what, we live in a digital world

one of my DCs likes to use the 30 min bus journey on back rural roads to do their homework, which is done on their phone. Far better than me scribbling my homework on the way to school the day it’s done.

Sometimes they may want to do something after school with friends, with no pay phone and only 1 school bus they need to ask permission as their school is in a different town. We need to coordinate pickups or if they make their way home by train, in which case they need their phone to pay for it as it’s all automated and no option to pay for a ticket with cash.

They also pay for food and drinks on their phones.

They have emergency cash i make them carry as I’m so old but the reality is they need their phones for everyday life just like adults do.

Phones are banned on school grounds at my DCs school, they can be in the bottom of bags but not as allowed in pockets or to be seen. It seems to work perfectly fine. My friends DS goes to a school where all phones are put in faraday pouches at the start of the day and given back at the end of school, again works fine.

it also wasn’t all that great “ back in the day” kids bullied and attacked with no way of calling their parents. There was a pervert who hung around one bus stop grooming young girls getting off my school bus, plenty of other sleeze bags harassing kids at bus stops or walking home. At least now kids have the extra security of feeling they can call someone or take pictures. I once missed my bus, my ticket was only for a certain bus company, I lived 9 miles away in another town and only one way to walk through rural roads, sometimes with no pavements, I’d been walking about an hour it was getting dark when a teacher pulled over, it as a risk getting in but I was lucky. I never told my parents, just like all the other dangerous shit that happened in the good old days.

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Yes all the same for my kids. Bus passes are on their phone, their money too. But just because kids have phones doesn't mean they are less independent. I have a tendency towards over protectiveness but the tracker makes me less likely to overreact if they are a bit late, and I know they and their friends have phones on them if they need, so I'm less likely to pass that onto them. Things like not teaching your kids how to get on the bus or that they are bound by contracts or turning up to Freshers week is just ridiculous though. And it's nothing to do with phones.