To think parents are not teaching any independence?

[MrBlobbysNuts]

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

Exactly.

If everyone is so set on children not having phones then bring back the alternative and reinstate pay phones in case of emergency

Smart phones are great even for teens
They can be money, travel passes, maps, information, news, music, silly games and communication devices. Books, research.

They need to learn when to use and when not to use them. What is positive and what is negative about them.

I never thought we couldn’t parent our way through smart phones we had rules sure and much guidance, and now they show us stuff which is usually very funny and clever. Yes we turned off access after 9pm, they weren’t allowed TokTok/Snapchat/Telegram
They were only allowed communication with people they knew or people who knew people they knew. As they have got older they have kept this up. What do parents think is going to happen when they get a not dumb phone at 16? Do you think they are going to be easier to teach then?

Even some of the dodgy moments we have encountered have ended up being moments of hilarity.

There is going to be a whole heap of therapists needed in the future for then grown teens who will come to realise that their parents didn’t keep them safe they stole their very short 4/5 years of teenage from them.

And make sure they don’t need smartphones to access their school bus pass!

Did no-one from the school wait with him? He surely wasn't alone in a deserted area? If he was, a complaint is in order.

Fewer to no pay phones.

Bus timetables and even tickets and payment being on phones.

When school bus didn't turn up I had to walk 4 miles home - along unlit country lanes - till out of town shopping center was built half way. Without older kids to show us the way and other kids to walk with I'd have been completly stuck - school reception refused to ever help. I maagaged but traffic increased since ethen and I know few kids at new school built later nearer where I used to live have been seriously injured on the junction I used to pass in seperate incidents.

Most schools here allow phones on site so there for after school but don't allow them on in school.

The world's move on it now expects phone and leaving secondary school kids without them could actually make it harder for them to navaigate the world independently of adults and more lifts from adult drivers.

It would help if the bus came when it’s supposed to. Late, not an issue, but several times it was A LOT earlier than expected (and she leaves with plenty of time anyway) . Luckily she tracks it , so ran out of the house.

Yes, I know we have a LOT of issues with this bloody bus, despite paying a lot for it!

Similar situation here. It’s supposed to leave at 7.30am. In reality it can be anything from 7.20am to 7.50am. The tracker often isn’t switched on either. Many complaints have been put in but nothing has changed! And it costs us £1.4k per year.

Oh and another thing, for a few trips we were given an approximate time of arrival but were told to check out phones as our children (not the school/teacher) will keep us informed of any changes.

why the eye roll? You don’t need to be rude. Every family is different.

we don’t have enough laptops in our house so my child shares mine. If I’m still working then they need to wait.

they find the app on phone easier to use than the desktop version. He can plan from the app and then will do different aspects on my laptop.

their bus journey isn’t too long but some on the bus have over an hour and I know that some use that time to do some homework so that they use the time. I think this is ok. Good use of time and planning.

Some of the apps also work better on phones and go a bit weird on desktops.

as a family this is how we choose to do things and it works. they don’t have social media and only select apps.

I think parenting matters. Giving a kid a phone with no rules/security is silly IMO. But if you do it sensibly then it can give independence.

at the end of the day the schools can dictate what happens on their property but I don’t think it’s ok to do that outside of school hours as there are so many different needs for children and families.

Another example, they didn’t even get a physical time table this year, it’s all on the app. Test time table? On the app. Tests/revision resources? On the app. Homework? On the app. Reminders, announcements, invites /notices about clubs etc.? On the app.

DD2 last year at school phone usage was banned - but all the pervious years timetables and notices were on school app - they now couldn't use in school hours but staff kept being blindsided and confuse the kids couldn't see the updates during school day.

Ours cycled to school

occasionally they would have to fix their bike (chain) or push it (puncture)

They like having problems to fix - they come back wet and covered in oil occasionally with a big dramatic story - again they like a big dramatic story. They encountered situations we had no idea about and they enjoyed telling us new stuff.

You just don’t get this if you ferry your teen from door to door.

7:55 supposed time. DD is usually there at 7:45. Wouldn’t help when the bus arrives at 7:37, 7:38 or even 7:32 completely randomly. I’m sure some people would say that she should just be there at 7:30 , but then it does arrive on time , or it’s stupidly late, and while waiting in the rain/cold/wind for 30/45minutes /an hour won’t kill her, it’s not very nice either. I wouldn’t want to do it, so why should she?

Even with SEN needs- DD has ASD and dyspraxia (not great exec functioning) and we just did loads and loads of travel training with her. So she has managed when routes have changed and buses don't turn up etc. She walks, asks someone or knows she can pop back into school. This obviously won't work for all kids but I know plenty of kids at one of the special schools who do a two bus journey independently without smartphones.

I see the risk inside the phone as much greater than any risk you think you mitigate with one.

Schools need to get on board though. We have very limited online homework and that can be done on any device in the evening. They're not expected to be online during the day at all. A lot of the homework is in old fashioned paper booklets, they have a physical planner etc.

They used to use them in class too for whatever game/activity asked by teachers. They’ve stopped that now thankfully, unless in DD’s words “we get a really clueless teacher”. 😬

Both mine have phones and are at secondary. I wouldn't be too bothered if they didn't take them but both a short walk from school. They are useless for me to contact them as always on silent! They mainly get used occasionally to inform me they are going to a friends/the park etc.

The thing i always ponder is: do phones make them safer? A phone is more likely to make them a target to be robbed. (There have been some cases near us). When we were kids we weren't bowling round with hundreds of pounds worth of kit in our pockets. Also, they are massive distraction. Are they always going to be safe crossing roads etc. Even if they are sensible most of the time, teenagers in groups often make silly decisions.

its a different world out there. I used to hop on and off buses and trains at 11 but it really was a different world then. If they were invented we would not have needed phones People cannot give kids freedom and independence as much these days due to the world as it is now.

Mine would love to cycle but it’s 15 miles away so bus it is. No ferrying them from door to door, I’m at work. They have an old smartphone for the journey because their bus pass is on an app on the phone, and they do their homework on the long bus trip home. I’m not sure how them having a phone in these circumstances is stifling their independence really.

Some of the things we did as kids would get child services at your door now.

You had me until 'give the kids cash'.

Its a totally different world.
Independence isn't about a phone or cash. Its appropriate skills to manage in the environment/world a young person lives in .

Golly, I thought I'd stumbled onto Gransnet for a moment with all the 'back in my day...' comments.

My kids have phones, they make after school logistics easier. Why would anyone want to make life more complicated for parents and children, just because they didn't need a phone back in 1964...

Nice bit of ageism there 🙄

Isn’t ’kids nowadays aren’t independent’ ageism too?

Was it more complicated though? I don't know. I think it was simpler in many ways.

I went out to dinner the other day and left my phone at home. I'm not going to be a slave to it. Anyone I'd have wanted to have 24/7 access to me was coming to dinner, so anything else could wait.

Its quite interesting in that the question was about teaching indepedence and a lot of the replies have been basically transport, food payments and school apps are on phones so they need them to be independent.

But im curious if bus companies changed, homework was paper, cards for food payment came back - would people give thier children dumb phones or would the children come home and still spend a lot of time on social media.

No because it’s not a criticism of the children, it’s a criticism of the parents.