To think parents are not teaching any independence?

[MrBlobbysNuts]

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

My child is allowed phone to and from school but turned off and out of sight on school premises.

seems to work and for them it has improved independence as they feel more confident. Due to a medical condition they have needed to call us a couple of times for reassurance and check they can take meds. Also needed to call when there have been bus issues and needed pick ups. Not a lot of options around here.

I know a lot of people on here are against tracking - but we also have this and it helps us to know they’re safe and was used when practicing using buses a year or so ago.

they have also learnt to use maps and track us when lost and can use what three words in an emergency.

we are in a digital world and that is independence whether you like it or not.

we have the phone pretty locked down and strict rules. Wrote out rules and went through various scenarios of photo sharing and when to tell us something dodgy has popped up. And they have done this. Scams have also popped up which have been a good learning point for them as we’ve been able to talk things through. So they have learnt important skills.

due to clubs and things it’s also useful to have phone after school as they change their minds and it’s helpful to know where they are. Older teens maybe be different. But for younger secondary I’d be worried if they were late.

great that back in the day there was less worry and everyone got home alive and safe (but they didn’t!) - but nowadays I think things are different.

im also in the camp of taking my phone with me when I go out. I pay for things, check maps, track my steps and have reminders and lists (shopping etc). If I’m driving I like to have a phone in case I break down.

Yes and of that 6% only some are school age children, so that is relevant.

The majority do but a significant minority do not. Even if it were 1%, 1% of a large number can be a lot of people. I suppose you don't care if you're not one of the disadvantaged ones though.

My sons school doesn't do this and neither does the school I work in. So this is a failing by the school really not to be organised. Both schools do however do a morning lineup so if there was a last minute assembly they would be told in lineup.

Look at the links that have been provided by more than one person. It's well more than 6% of school kids.

Part of being independent in this day and age involves having a phone. So much is geared to having a phone now and essential life skills are all on people's phones where as before they weren't. Bus passes, payment methods etc, even more when you become an adult. They need to learn how to use a phone because it's an essential life skills now where as when I was growing up in the 80s it wasn't. Time moves on.

I agree. It carries on from teenagers until they are adults. You see it in posts saying people in their early 20’s aren’t really adults yet. Infantilising young people seems to be getting worse.

Right so we’ve agreed that the majority do, which was my original point. Thanks.

Conversely, I think having a phone actually gives children independence.

They have the security to travel, visit friends and access support services - they can therefore leave the house and go about their day.

Should also add that the homework apps are on phones. So without a smart phone they’d be a bit stuck.

The significant minority matter too. They're probably much more independent and resourceful by need though.

We had people/children/men like that back in the day too. I remember talking to a bf (we were 20/21) at the time and him moaning he’s starving. Asked if he had anything in his fridge and sort something out. Nah , he’ll wait for his mum to come home from work. Biggest ick ever.

Again all of these software can be accessed on any electronic device. You don't actually need a smartphone to do the homework. DS does most of his on the computer rather then his phone as its easier to use a large display and keyboard for most work. 🙄

I grew up feral in the countryside. I was gone at dawn and back at dusk. I used to travel miles on buses and trains on my own from the age of nine. Mum was unwell and Dad was always at work. I had to raise myself and my bestie had it even worse. He Mum was abroad and her Dad was injured in the war and was in bed 99% of his life but....times were different.

My nephew and his wife have raised their two kids in a tiny house in a fairly rough city. They barely get sunlight on them. They barely leave their rooms and they have both failed to launch. They have no experience of how the world works at all but outside their door is a scary world of who knows what. I'm not sure how I would do anything different if I lived where they do. Just getting their kids to adulthood is an achievement maybe? I think if I lived where they do and having had the childhood I had, I simply wouldn't have had kids. It's no way to live. Not really live.

my 13 year old is very independent, probably more so as she has a phone. It don’t think I would be so comfortable letting her do some of the things she does if she didn’t have a phone on her. She regularly uses public transport or cycles and does not require lifts to get about with her friends or by herself. Phones are part of life now.

Beyond belief. And frankly irresponsible.
How this sets young people up for the world I do not know.
The volumes of young people driven to and fro is not helping. Some might have to ferry a child to another school. Some might be on their way to work. But in my village too few children walk to school. Hardly any. Let alone use school buses which back in my day were a thing.

Then they'll learn pretty quick not to miss the bus! Simple life lessons like this are what teach children to be more independent and responsible. Silly decisions have consequences!!!

Yes people managed years ago without phones but you try going a week without a phone as I had to do recently and it’s actually a huge pain in terms of something ending earlier or later/ getting held up etc. was late for collecting my son and couldn’t get the word to him so he was in a deserted area twenty minutes after a school tour had come home. We all have nice rose tinted glasses on the 80s. Also re dumb phones phone companies would have to change policies re text messages and make them free like WhatsApp or a lot of families wouldn’t opt in

Careful now, you will be accused of not checking your privilege even though it’s a perfectly valid point that most children have access to a bigger device than a phone to do their homework.

I was attacked as a child whilst walking home from school by a man who exposed himself and tried to corner me. Just because it didn't happen to you, it doesn't that it doesn't happen.

My attack happened before the days of mobile phones. The first elderly couple I managed to run to didn't assist me (despite my severe distress and them mentioning that they thought the man had looked suspicious) because they "didn't want to get involved". I was lucky that a stranger escorted me home and asked my parents to call the police but a mobile phone would have been massively helpful in this situation.

Mine likes to do her homework on her hour long bus journey home. By the time she gets home it’s 5.15pm and she has a snack, gets changed then goes to her sports training. She can’t take a computer to school to do her homework on the bus. Plus as mentioned before her bus pass is on an app on her phone too.
It is convenient for her to have her phone. She has no social media and only the apps necessary for her to a) get her school bus and b) do her homework. Her phone is kept in her locker during the day. I’m not sure how any of that is stifling her independence?

I agree with a poster that the conversation about phones has become ridiculous.

Talking about digital devides apparently

In 2024, 100% of UK adults aged 16-24 had a smartphone, according to Statista.

Smartphones are relatively expensive even second hand ones, if 100% of young people have a smartphone. Then why not a tablet or laptop 🤔, you can use a dongal as a hotspot you don't need wired Internet (as long as you have good service, it's rubbish where we are). I actually think the problem is still lack of understanding of modern technology.

This has been the case with one of my kids.

Just to be clear , I fully support phones off and away during the school day and the consequences for breaking the rule. At DD’s school is taken away and a parent has to come get it. I told her there’s no way I’m leaving work early and spending money on transport to go get it. Her dad might, but she has to wait for a Friday when he comes back from work, so if it’s gone , it’s gone and I don’t care. It’s the full ban that bothers me , especially if the school is (or was complicit) in normalising phone use. Another example, they didn’t even get a physical time table this year, it’s all on the app. Test time table? On the app. Tests/revision resources? On the app. Homework? On the app. Reminders, announcements, invites /notices about clubs etc.? On the app.

I used to walk my kids to primary school ( about 20 minutes). His friend used to be driven everywhere " because of safety" ( similar distance. The school was in London with a tiny catchment area Less than a mile) Whenever we had a playdate I'd have to drive because his friend had absolutely no road sense. Didn't know how to cross a road properly etc. It was frankly more dangerous than just walking him to school and making him aware of how to behave on a bloody pavement! We moved away and lost touch so I don't know how he turned out.