AIBU to feel anxious about my husband playing tennis with a woman?

[Bunnysdoingliterature]

DH and I are 29 and 30, he loves playing tennis, usually plays once a week and goes to the club social, I have no interest in tennis, would rather watch paint dry!
He’s been a member of the same club for the last 5 years, we’ve been together for 6 years.
I feel bad for him as some of his friends he would normally play with are moving further out of London and joining clubs local to them. It’s hard at his club to play with non-members.
I am pregnant with our first child so perhaps a bit anxious and paranoid in general and I can’t tell if I should be worried about this or not.

On Wednesday night he went to the tennis social, he came back and told me he had got chatting to this girl and they might go and play tennis together at the weekend. I didn’t want to be controlling so I said that’s nice.

This morning he went to play tennis with this girl, 11-12. He then messaged and sent a pic showing they were having a drink at the club house. This made me a bit anxious, I don’t know this girl.

When he came home I asked how it was and I told him I felt a little anxious about him spending time alone with a woman I don’t know. He said he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable and wouldn’t see her again, but it sucks as he’s running out of people to play tennis with as everyone moves further out and she is actually good so he enjoys playing against her.
I feel bad, I don’t think he would cheat but it’s making me anxious. It probably hasn’t helped that I asked about her and he showed me her insta and she’s clearly very very attractive, Italian and young (I think 25). I will admit I’d probably be less bother if I didn’t feel so threatened by her.

AIBU to feel anxious about this? I worry I’m being controlling, he hasn’t argued that he wants to, says it’s fine, joked it would be easier if I just played too then we could play together.
Should I just suggest we all meet up, maybe after they play again and try to not let my anxiety control me?

Tonsil tennis - god I haven’t heard that phrase in years! 😂
OP YABU. It’s a tennis club, she wants to play tennis, maybe they have a similar ability level and it makes sense for them to play together. Maybe they get on - doesn’t mean they want to shag one another.

This morning he went to play tennis with this girl, 11-12. He then messaged and sent a pic showing they were having a drink at the club house. This made me a bit anxious, I don’t know this girl.

I wouldn't be happy with that, even though I trust DH 100%. He also plays a lot of tennis and the problem isn't the game itself, but the culture of going for a drink at the clubhouse afterwards. It's almost seen as mandatory and a very intimate part of the sport. Amongst men, it's usually silly banter over a beer but also a way to network and connect. Between a man and woman who don't know each other that well it will essentially become a forced date every time.

EDIT: If he lacks partners, he needs to sign up for lessons with a trainer at the club. There is zero excuse to play with a girl he barely knows just because he doesn't have a partner. Same for her. She knows perfectly well she could also be playing with a trainer but clearly targeted your husband.

....the only person he can find to play is a young, attractive woman

Or the person he chooses to play with is a player who is at or just above his own standard who will give him a challenging game?

Why are women constantly judged by their age and appearance? Don't their skills or other qualities count for anything?

Why are you calling her a girl? Hopefully she is a adult

“Amongst men, it's usually silly banter over a beer but also a way to network and connect”

is it the 1950s? Women also network and connect. I work in a male-dominated industry and it’s this kind of thinking that makes it stuck in the old ways

….on a very hot day two people have a drink after playing a game a tennis - call the papers

“intimate part of the sport” utter garbage

A man and a woman can have a drink without it being a date... I have had plenty of drinks with male colleagues, because we get on and have lots in common and they're friends. I guess someone should tell their wives it's actually a forced date (I know and see them too and they definitely don't see it like this!)

You clearly do NOT trust your DH 100%
That must be exhausting. For him.

There is zero excuse to play with a girl he barely knows
why does he need an excuse?

She knows perfectly well she could also be playing with a trainer but clearly targeted your husband.
no word 😂😂

She knows perfectly well she could also be playing with a trainer but clearly targeted your husband.

So:
Women may not attend dinner parties without a partner because they are clearly there only to be paired off with one of the other guests - as per another thread a while ago.
They may not socialise with male work colleagues because they are clearly looking to shag the married ones - as per many threads on MN
Now they may not play tennis with a man because they are clearly targeting him.

Is there anything women are allowed to do on their own which doesn't result in them being seen - by other women - purely as sex objects?

It would be funny if people who do have that kind of thoughts don't end up being the abusive partner, often husbands but sometimes wives

Imagine living with someone like that. It's not even jealousy any more, it's neurotic

He literally went to play with a member! The woman that the thread is about

@User774563 she clearly targeted the op’s husband..
how on earth did you draw this conclusion?
this place gets more batshit every day.

If he was planning to cheat, would he really tell you exactly where he was going and what time? And then send you a photo of him having a drink with her? No, he would not.
He'd make up a lie.
He's probably gutted that you clearly do not trust him.

Yanbu, sending you a picture of the two of them was really odd

This^
But I don’t mind being uncool.

I think the drink afterwards was a bit much and pushes it into unwise and not particularly respectful behaviour from him. Very few people set out to have an affair. Different if she wasn't hot. Understandable you feel a little uncomfortable without doubting either of them. No one's done anything wrong but a little common sense on his side would be sensible. I think it's been handled well.

If you don't trust your DH, that is a major issue. Start there. Tell him you love him and let him know that you are feeling worried. Ideally, he'll be surprised and confused. He might not have realised how you see things. Ideally, he'll be bringing you flowers and booking date nights.

The good news is that he sent you a pic of them at the club house together. He doesn't think he has anything to hide. It hasn't crossed his mind. He might have just enjoyed playing someone who can keep up with his game/plays at his level.

As per @PepsiBook - but actually, if he were planning to cheat, I think he would tell you where he is going and what time. That is classic Script play book. An unimpeachable alibi followed by a drink at the club which might extend. Did he come home promptly?

And, ultimately, the time at the club with male or female members IS the intimate bit. That is the time when people can connect since on the court they are too far apart to speak.

He got chatting to a gorgeous younger girl at the tennis social and now they're playing tennis together and going for drinks after. No I wouldn't be ok with that, no interest in being the cool wife.

I’m sure there’s absolutely nothing to worry about with your husband getting all sweaty on court with a gorgeous, fit, 25 year old Italian tennis player. She probably won’t be wearing one of those cute little tennis skirts and making all those OTT grunting noises. I mean it’s not like guys fancy tennis players and Anna Kornakova never won world’s sexiest woman right?

It’s the kind of scenario that could make for a scintillating romantic thriller where a young tennis player seduces an older husband.

But like I say, probably nothing to worry about. Your husband is way above all that nonsense right.

I doubt your husband is the hot property you seem to think he is. Why do you imagine this woman is going to be interested in him?

What on earth is this comment?

Who says she wants to seduce the husband?