AIBU to ask tenants to move before or after new baby?

[CatWithAPetDog]

We are landlords and have a property that our son would like to move into at some point in the next year. Our current tenants have a toddler and have just told me that they are expecting another baby in November.

If you were the tenant, would you prefer to have to move out whilst pregnant or with a young baby. I know it’s not great timing for them either way, but which would you say would be easier? We can wait a while as long as my son is moved in this time next year, but then they would have a toddler and six month old baby, so it may be easier to do it sooner with just a toddler?

They’ve been good tenants so I would like to cause them the least stress possible.

Sorry forgot to make boring make sense

YABU - Get them to move before the new baby arrives

YANBU - Get them to move after the new baby arrives

Sorry OP I didn’t see your update saying that they are moving anyway. Have they given you a date of when they’ll be put by?

It was never relevant because you were wrong and being nasty with your ‘hahaha’ and ‘good luck with that’ comments.

Ask them or tell them they have a year to move out and they can decide when

i was having a hard day looking after 4 kids whilst having several chronic illnesses. We are in significant hardship after having to move several times because landlords think that tenents don’t matter. Chucking us howso they can charge more after the 12 months was up, another one chucking us out due to the fact that we complained about damp that was causing my daughters eczema to flair and then finally one who decided to give us two months notice 3 days before Christmas because she decided she wanted to rent the house out to her friends instead. She knew I was very sick at the time. I am kind, I do everything for everyone and am exhausted. I don’t have anyone to fall back on it is life. By the sounds of it your son has been very privileged with unwind able to live abroad etc.

I was trying to nicer in the my reply their and admit I was wrong with my wording which people very rarely do on Mumsnet. It struck a nerve and I reacted. I am sorry. I do feel strongly about people don’t having things handed to them. That is my belief.

This happened to me (twice!) first time landlord was great and basically told me what the score was and gave me the option, which effectively meant I had 8 months to get things sorted, which was a life saver in an area where private rents are crazily high, I was working part time so had salary topped up with UC, and was a bit of a red flag for future landlords. He was kind and honest and consequently I went out of my way to make his life easier and treat the house extra well, and vice versa.

Second time, horrible woman who was obsessed with the house and should never have rented it out (raised her children there and absolutely loved the place, which would be fine if she then didn’t turn up and weed the garden unannounced and get her vile son to film us over the back fence with an iPhone to check the paddling pool wasn’t damaging her precious grass, the c*nt, but that’s a digression 🤣). having told us it was a long let that would likely be for as long as we needed, she gave us 8 weeks notice that she wasn’t renewing the 12m contract and it was shit. Baby and young child at that point.

i think most ppl will say moving pregnant is easier, but you really never know what will work best for someone else as there’s all sorts of other things that could play in. If she’s a good tenant then I would just tell her a final final deadline but allow her to move sooner if she finds a place (ie release her from contract if there is one). You’ll lose a bit of rental income if there’s a gap but that’s 100% the ethical thing :))

No problem. You were trying to be helpful but unfortunately some people are just being nasty. 🙄

They are due to hear about a property tomorrow so I’ll know more then. They are hoping to move out in the next couple of weeks now that I’ve confirmed I’m happy for them to leave whenever suits and only pay until they move out, even at short notice. They think they will get the property as it is through someone they know so 🤞 for them.

Op I mean this sincerely. It is nice of you to not charge them go when they need to. Not many landlords do that and you have no idea how much that will help them not having to pay two rents at once.

But so what if do decide to let their son live there rent free. It is THEIR house, they own it they can do whatever they like with it. Their tenants have had the benefit of this persons house be their home for however long its been and are prepared to give them a long heads up notice way above legally requirements, but now they wish to have it back for their own child and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You sound very bitter towards landlords

To be honest when you have had to leave 3 times very quickly through no fault of your own (house maintained, not in arrears). It is hard not to.

It’s so annoying when people came at you for having a second home and wanting to help your own children, I have a second home, my husband lost his parents at a young age, I’m sure he would rather have them here than the financial gain he gets from having the second home, we will be passing it down to our children which is our right and like you say none of anyone else’s business. Good luck to you.
I’d let your tenants know asap and they can start looking knowing they have a year to get another home

Have a proper conversation with your son that it is a long term thing he wants then talk to the tenants if he wants to be there long term and ask them what they think would be best

Ok, thanks for your apology. I understand, but please try not to take that out on someone like me or make judgements about my child. We all have our own stuff going on.

I am a landlord and I would never think tenants don’t matter. I’m obviously going to put my own children first, but I was still willing to be helpful and reasonable to my tenants. It had actually kept me up at night because I didn’t feel good about potentially causing them stress, especially when the woman is pregnant. Not all landlords are arseholes. My husband and son are actually going to use one of our vans and help them move some of their furniture, help take down their climbing frame and trampoline etc. Privileged people can be kind too.

Before.

Ideally they could stay though, and your son would fend for himself.

For me it was the wording of my son would like to move in. It felt like he just expected that he could and he didn’t think about the consequences of what that means for a pregnant women and a child. I get that may not be the case buy a lot of times people don’t realise how lucky they are to even have that option. Obviously no one knows the ins and outs of people’s lives but in my experience landlords genuinely do not understand how hard it is in this market. I’m glad that your tenants bave potentialy found somewhere.

You are obviously trying to be considerate to their situation so perhaps have a chat with them now about your intentions and say by the middle of next year, they then have the choice to start looking asap before baby or have 6 months after baby to sort something.

I’m not exactly going to reveal the reasons for my son wanting to move in as it’s irrelevant and personal. Someone would have picked it all apart anyway as that is what people do on here. Someone always finds a problem, twists things and projects.

My son is allowed to think of himself before others though and we are allowed to put him, as our child, above our tenants. We can do this whilst also being sympathetic to our tenants situation and trying to find the best way forward for them. I wouldn’t class myself as a very good parent if I didn’t show my son that he gets priority. In my world, you help your children out. I will do what I can to be kind, but I’m not responsible for everyone else.

Talk tothem and ask what they’d prefer. Maybe let them know that when they find something you’re happy for them to forgo the notice period ( if you are ok what that ) Then they can start looking now and move as soon as they find something.

Absolutely OP. Most people would do the same.

Honestly this will be my last comment but this does not sound like your son was being kind.

i can honestly say that if we were approached by family while we were frantically searching for a house potentially becoming homeless saying they would evict another family so we could rent from them I would have turned them down without hesitation as I could not sleep at night knowing I had done that to another person.

I don’t mind people having a second property when its used to house someone else full time. Be it family or tenants . But I’m not so keen on when it’s used for the odd weekend / week and left empty the rest of the time . Just because of the housing crisis, but if there was enough accommodation to go around , no problem.

Oh just realised I should have read the whole thread. So glad they’ve found somewhere. It’s hard to think of a young family in a panic .

Still slagging my family off. Your words yesterday were terrible too, so much so that they were deleted. You pretend to be kind, but to say what you did yesterday, you are not.

I’m glad it’s your last comment.

I was saying what I would do. You slagged me off saying I wasn’t been kind. I have been nice and said when I think you have done the right thing. Honestly very few people on Mumsnet admit they were wrong in the way they said things. I have. I have apologised. I also do have an opinion which I was trying to say in the nicest way. I think people sometimes genuinely do not understand their privileges and how lucky they are so are unable to look at things from other points of view. I wasn’t slagging him off I was saying that in that instance your son was definitely showing privilege and not thinking of everyone involved. That doesn’t make him a bad person.