Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

Jayden would GAF

Jayden wouldn’t have the privilege of GAF on this subject.

There are barely any scholarships and almost none that provided bursaries so generous!

Where is jayden's mum supposed to get the other 25% of the fees from? Where i live it would be £5k out of post tax pay. Do you know many people on average wages who have £400 spare a month?

Honestly op you are wildly out of touch.

Dh was privately educated. He and I earn over 300k between us & could easily afford private. Even we know this is one where the well off have really lost sight of reality.

At least two farmers (each with assets of over £1m) have committed suicide since 6th April this year (when the policy started) specifically because of the introduction of IHT on farms?

Wow. Got any, you know, links to back up this extrordinary claim? Links which also explain why they didn't do the obvious thing and amend their wills to ensure their £1m APR allowance is utilised and their heirs receive their assets tax free?

Sorry, I was just responding to the wrong post! Yes, she did, you’re right.

The money have goes into private schools is mainly private money (apart from the few children who have an independent place state funded) so wouldn't end up in state schools even if private schools were all closed.

It's also not just about money. People are often not buying into a fancy building or a prestigious name or networking. They are buying into their child attending school with children whose parents are consistently engaged in their child's education, and who work with the school if any issues. Look at faith schools, which get 10% less funding and standard schools. These generally are more sought after and acheive better results, as parents have often had to jump through hoops to get their child in - attending church every Sunday for 2 years in the case of my local highly sought after Catholic secondary. Even those who are faking it to get in, are showing commitment, and that will follow through to their child.

What’s Havastock?

What's next, only one class of air travel, no more steak we all eat burgers, no more lobster, fish fingers all round, holidays at Butlins only no foreign travel. We all wear the same outfit and have the same haircut.

Some people want to spend their money on the best future for their kids and sacrifice to do that.

You'd rather spend your money on something else and that's fine for you, but why are you trying to punish those who want to give their kids the best start they can afford?

Whilst we are at it we should get rid of unis, that's paid for education that not everyone can afford.

I lived in a tiny house on a dirt back road for years so my son went to a drug free, teenage pregnancy free school with small class sizes and amazing outside school hour care, wonderful facilities and invested staff.

AND I saved other tax payers money by doing that.

Who are you to take away my choice, yes my sacrifices mean I will never own a detached home and I started my private pension later than I would have liked and it will be a more frugal old age than I dream of but that is MY choice for MY child. I don't consider that a luxury at all.

The only unethical person is you pushing the politics of envy pretending that everyone who sends their kids to a private school is rich when plenty of them are normal hard working people, unlike you trying to steal choice from others.

Well then take a look at your own finances as clearly you are spending beyond your means not that you’ll admit it because frankly me and my DH earn a lot less than 220k between us and we can afford private (including VAT) but have chosen not to (which you are so brilliantly providing why we haven’t so thanks for that) so the fact you can’t is down to your spending issues and not VAT.

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2026/may/third-private-school-bursaries-and-scholarship-funds-go-high-income-families

Sadly op even the idea that bursaries & scholarships benefit the poor is deluded.

I think they could also put things in trust, couldn’t they?

It is sad about suicide but I think they should pay IHT. Clarkson bought his farm to avoid IHT, his kids will sell it and get all that money in cash.

If land has to be sold, it may pave the way for new farmers too.

This is a problem linked to austerity and underfunding though you should never have had to be in the position you needed to go private in the first place - I went into teacher training straight from school and spent time working in education before moving on, and when I started we had mainly LA controlled schools, not MAT’s and private funding. Teaching assistants were abundant. Seperate small group teaching for gifted and talented students as well as those with send was available several times a week if not daily depending on the school. Alternative provision was easier to access. There was earlier intervention for SEMH with lower waits for CAMHS and visits from participation workers.
Children had independence and there were more youth centres and free extra curricular opportunities. I worked in schools where instead of GCSE’s children could chose to train as mechanics or hairdressers from 14 or had specialist computer teaching.
the Free school meal threshold was considerably higher on the tax credits system, and more children could access a reasonably priced hot meal at lunch.

Over a decade of systematic destruction of the education system led to your position-
It’s awful that you were ever put there, but you’re also hugely privileged to be able to go private.

Yes the Labour government brought in the VAT on school fees, but they aren’t the ones to blame for your difficulties- if it wasn’t for the austerity (and I do appreciate some of it was Blair, the champagne socialist with PFI and other nonsense) that you’d have an appropriate and accessible education for your child

No hasn’t. At first it was suggested it went to affordable housing but now I think it has just gone into the government purse.

Did you vote for the Tories? My mum died at 56 and had multiple congenital disabilities, she lived in a 3 bed council house and was repeatedly turned down by the private company screening for DLA funding despite several urelgentbissues including heart failure while awaiting valve surgery and scoliosis so bad in affected her breathing and ability to stand for long periods. Her final months were made hell by financial worries because not being approved for DLA meant she wouldn't be considered as requiring her spare bedroom to have a carer sleep over when required, which she did need meaning she'd have to move, in an area in rural northern Ireland with few properties under 3 bedrooms but where she was close to family support. She got turned down, then forced to appeal and again turned down... Even while hospitalised for the final 2onths of her life, they then started looking at the evidence again. Do you know when her DLA was finally approved? 8 weeks after her death and they back paid all the way to her initial application 2 years before. It paid for her funeral.

So this idea that a policy has had such horrendous impact on families because Lucy had to go to school with Charmaine whose mum smokes and therefore you couldn't deal with her being friends with a Labour voter who agrees with taxing private schools falls a little hollow if I'm honest.

The consequences felt by many in the country of the Tories horrific policies around DLA, around the bedroom tax, the people who committed suicide as they couldn't see a way to live, the people who froze in their homes as they couldn't afford heating and those like my mum who's offered fear and distress on their deathbed... And you're here giving it 'now I have to have an awkward conversation at school functions'

I mean really, what is the matter with you?

Some folk have way too much time on their hands. Either in a) making up silly threads that aren’t true or b) actually overthinking a play date. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Again, scandi education system enables high earning and invested parents to pay into the public education system thus benefitting all children attending schools and pooling the resources more fairly.

I think it's very odd that you'd think parents of public school children aren't interested in their child's education. Do you think that might be a bit of a stereotype rather than reality? I'm also really incredulous that you'd opt out of helping those children who's parents aren't willing/ able to be as involved in their kids education as if they'd 'taint' yours by their presence.

I’m going for the former. If it’s really true she’s doing the leftie’s child a favour.

there are hundreds of government policies that have absolutely ruined people though. this one just feels pertinent to you.

You CAN spend your money on it. That's totally an option. Go right ahead. However the business you pay for the service of providing schooling now has to pay business tax, that's all that's changed.

OP, if your employer pays for your private healthcare policy the cost is assessed as taxable income on you by classing it as a benefit in kind. You are then liable to pay tax on that value at your marginal income tax rate exactly as if you had received the equivalent cash payment. Benefits provided to employees are declared to HMRC on form P11D at the end of every tax year. The tax due is often collected by reducing their tax free allowance in the following tax year, unless the taxpayer opts for direct payment.

Perhaps you should spend some time educating yourself about fiscal issues so you have some understanding, rather than putting on the uppity, sneering attitude. You are simply embarrassing yourself.

Worth noting that once you account for the impacts of selection, faith schools don't actually perform better.

That is, any school that can in some way narrow its selection pool performs better because it filters in a disproportionately better-off student body.

The impact of this is greater at grammars, but faith schools that are able to use church attendance/other faith criteria for some or all of their impact come next. Those schools selecting by proximity/housing cost also see impacts.

There doesn't seem to be anything inherent to faith education that delivers stronger results, it's the impact of being able to use faith as a selection criteria.

I went to private school and may well choose to send my own children in the future. However, I completely support VAT on private school fees.
Almost every other service attracts VAT, so I don't see why private education should be treated differently. It's an optional choice for parents, not something people are required to use, and I think it's reasonable that it is taxed in the same way as other services.
I don't think it's unfair or unreasonable as a policy.

OMG you were going to say equality as a reason for the children’s education tax weren’ t you? LOL no, I can’t take that seriously

No what I’d want is something tangible, a benefit of the policy as so far it’s everyone loses but independent school kids lose most so it’s ok. Classic labour.

Yes it’s a taxable benefit, you can’t salary sacrifice it. You don’t pay tax on private medical, definitely not income tax LOL

I live in Belgium. There are no private schools beyond the international ones designed to maintain education/curriculum for children whose parents might have moved to a post for several years. They are hugely expensive and mainly covered by employers. The Royal Family sent their children to state schools. The only families I feel any sympathy for are those with children with SEN who are often let down by the state system. Wealthier families already have many other advantages at their disposal e.g. tutoring, living in catchment of good schools, extra-curricular activities etc.