To not let sister's dog use my garden as a toilet?

[YesterdaysQueen]

My sister recently moved to the same town as me but into a flat without a garden. She has a dog who only likes to do his business in a garden, not out on a walk. Since moving she has been letting herself into my garden with her dog so he can do his business in my garden as he won't do it anywhere else according to her. She does pick up after him but it all goes in my wheelie bin which stinks!

I had no problem with her dog using my garden when she would occasionally visit before but now it's become every day, 2 sometimes 3 times a day.

I've asked her to stop as I have young children who, now that the summer is finally here, want to play in the back garden and it just annoys me that all of the lawn area has had dog poo on it and as he gets a dodgy stomach fairly often, some of it is diarrhoea so my sister has been ripping up the grass in those areas when trying to pick it up.

Anyway, she's now very unhappy with me for saying her dog can't use my garden as his toilet any more and has said it's not a big deal and I'm overreacting and being difficult.

AIBU?

Where other people take their children to play? Why can’t dogs be trained to go in the gutter? Why does every bit of publicly-owned grass have to be colonised as dogs’ toilets - because the dogs’ owners are too selfish and worried for THEIR own children’s health to use their own property. People here clearly recognise the risks, they literally and figuratively do not give a shit about other children.

Nope, there's no way I'd let my garden be used as a dog toilet- and I don't have children.

The dog sounds very anxious
We had one that would not go when out ....only in our garden, it got better as she became less anxious.
I would let her use my garden if there was no other option but she would be cleaning up properly.
It's usual to take the dog shit home with you btw

What about those dog parks - any near you OP, she would have to pay though and can probably just buy package or membership and have exclusive use of the dog fields.

I am a massive dog lover and in principle this wouldn’t bother me if I had no children. But I do you are not being unreasonable at all and were a good sister to allow it in the first place. Have a look you might a dog park near you or she just needs to use a long long lead and take the pooch out earlier in the morning or late at night when no one is about! Needs must as a dog parent!

OPs sister should find a dog park herself if that’s what she wants .

It’s best for Op not to try and get involved in finding an alternative arrangement or it will be her problem if/when that proposed solution fails.

Her sister is already trying to get her to take responsibility for something that she should be sorting out. Stay well away from “solving this” Op!

Which is why in an earlier comment i suggested OP's sister finds somewhere else, such as a private hire dog field, and walking early/late to quiet places, as its not her problem.

The chances of getting toxocariasis is about 2 in a million, chances of partial sightloss (typically in one eye) are even rarer, in the UK. The chances of getting it from dog poo where the poo was lifted immediately are basically nil (but it could still be in the ground from a cat or fox turd of course. Lifting the poo straight away eliminates the dog as the cause, but cats and foxes are also carriers).

So it's a risk to be aware of and be sensible about, but to put it into perspective, children stand a dramatically higher risk (av. 190 per million 'playing sessions') of eye injury and partial sight loss from sports and toys than they do from toxocariasis.

How is she getting into your garden

I'm a dog mad dog owner but I wouldn't allow you his I'm afraid. She has to find quiet places to walk and keep him on the lead for safety. I'm afraid flats and dogs do not mix.

My garden does have a gate to it but it wasn't originally there as it's an older property that was designed with a walkway to the back garden without a gate, so there is a gap between the gate and the fence where you can reach your hand through and unbolt the gate (not very safe, I know) which is what she has been doing.

I will have to invest in a padlock as yesterday there was a knock on my front door and my sister had turned up. "Just popped by to say hello" she said as if she wanted to clear the air. "Where is the dog?" I asked..... She had only gone and let him into the backgarden before knocking on the door and the first thing he had done was poo.

Needless to say a massive row erupted as I said I had told her explicitly not to let her dog use the garden any more and that was totally disregarding and disrespecting my boundaries.

She tried to say again how its not a big deal and that I'm overreacting so I told her I'd asked online and that literally everyone agreed with me. I highlighted the dangers of the dog pooing where her nephews play and told her its her problem she needs to sort out now as I didn't mind helping once or twice while they settled in and adjusted to the new place but now its taking the piss.

So she stormed into the garden, picked up the poo and shouted that she was leaving if she's so unwelcome. I shouted back to take the poo with her but heard the wheelie bin lid slam as she walked out.

Definitely time for a padlock!

Your garden, your rules. It could not be simpler. It’s simple respect.

I cannot believe her audacity, how very dare she! So completely out of order!

Well done OP 🥳. Padlock at the ready!! I hope she calms down but she has been acting quite unreasonably. Good luck

It’s bad enough worrying where you can sit safely on the grass in the park when there’s a possibility of dog shit there let alone your own home!
I can just imagine kids doing cartwheels and hand straight into the leftover shit… doesn’t bear thinking about

Wow, she is a CF.

Wow your sister is nuts!!!

OP, perhaps you think you were being kind, but you put a dogs shitting comfort ahead of your own childrens safety.
Think about that and the dynamic you have with your sister that would cause you to do that?

People with their own dogs wouldn't risk their children, yet you have for a nasty sister who couldn't care less about you or your children.

Animal comfort should never come ahead of the safety of your children.

What she did by letting him in your back to shit, while she distracted you at the front door is so unbelievable.

Have a good hard think about your boundaries that she would think she could do this?

Could she have any less respect for you and your home?

I think not.

If you have a hose then hose the area after. Also get a bin with a lid she can put the poop in separate and ask her to take it when she leaves and put in a local dog bin. There’s always loads around

Why on earth should the OP go out of her way to do those things? The dog is not her problem

Because she is her sister.

As a dog owner this is genuinely batshit. They do have their spots but he'll just find a new one.

Put the lock further down so she can't work the lock. Well glad to see she got the message from us. tap a piece of wood in the gap so she can't get the dog in or her hand!! Well done you for taking action!!! It's your garden not her dog pooing grass!!!

So? She’s being wildly unreasonable. What would the sister do if she didn’t live down the road. It is really not the OPs problem at all.

I know but personally I would try to make it work rather than fall out with my sister over dog poo

Her sister is the one choosing to fall out though. You can’t go through life being a doormat for other people’s ridiculous requests

That’s absolutely vile, especially as you have children who play in the garden. I wouldn’t have allowed it even once. It also sounds like your sister shouldn’t have got a dog in the first place.