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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

1000 replies

Marooney · 28/05/2026 09:15

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Marooney · 03/06/2026 18:38

Piglet89 · 03/06/2026 17:48

Even the implicit accusation in your thread title “…to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring”.

Not “about the disappearance of my engagement ring”.

You have it all sewn up without any evidence whatsoever, and some other plausible possibilities about its disappearance, given the property was unsecured during the works.

Conclusion-jumping and immature.

Just as a side note @Piglet89 would you be this abrasive to someone in real life whose jewellery had gone missing? I can’t really see the point of your rudeness to be honest.

OP posts:
AMurderofMurderingCrows · 03/06/2026 18:58

Piglet89 · 03/06/2026 13:18

My mistake: you implied you had internal camera footage you were yet to watch, which would clear up the matter one way or another…It’s still poor form.

And you had to embarrassingly have a subsequent conversation with that tradesperson after you created a really awkward situation, when there were several other options about what could have happened to the ring, given your fiancé foolishly left in a prominent place.

How old are you both?

Give it a rest fgs.

Piglet89 · 03/06/2026 19:00

Marooney · 03/06/2026 18:38

Just as a side note @Piglet89 would you be this abrasive to someone in real life whose jewellery had gone missing? I can’t really see the point of your rudeness to be honest.

If they were as defensive and smart-arsed as you’ve been on this thread - maybe.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 03/06/2026 20:15

Piglet89 · 03/06/2026 19:00

If they were as defensive and smart-arsed as you’ve been on this thread - maybe.

You've explained your view repeatedly.

The OP has heard you.

The rest of us have heard you.

What are you hoping to achieve by being repeatedly nasty to the OP?

Vartden · 03/06/2026 20:40

I had a small book that I had to use everyday for work. One day it went missing from where I always put it. I didn't think anyone had taken it , not as interesting as a ring! I tore the house apart for weeks until finally accepting it had gone. About three years later I found it behind a door that was permanently hooked open. I'm sure loads of people have similar stories. One day it may well pop up and suprise you.

UDontaskUDontget · 03/06/2026 21:01

Thanks for all the updates on this @Marooney i really hope that one day you find it. I think you have been incredibly patient and civil to some posters on here.

Marooney · 08/06/2026 22:18

Guys we have found the ring! 🎉 So happy!

It was our cleaner on a stealth visit to borrow my rug cleaner, without letting me know either before or after she came! The ledge I mentioned the ring was on is actually a strip of space on top of a chest of drawers in front of a cabinet which rests directly on the drawers, and she moved it along with some other things in order to open the cabinet door as she was hunting for the rug cleaning product! It all got swept into a box and dumped in a cupboard in a different room. Unbelievable.

Pre-empting a couple of obvious questions..

Why did I not question cleaner earlier? She had already done her fortnightly clean and never comes between visits. She doesn’t have a key. I did offer to lend her the machine at some point, but didn’t expect her to come into my house when I wasn’t there! She is totally trustworthy but that’s a bit odd isn’t it? Only came up today when she returned the machine I didn’t know she had..

Have I told Bob? Yes, third person I messaged after DP and my mum. He was happy and replied something along the lines of “I do tell (friend) to take more care of his appearance so this kind of thing doesn’t happen to him, don’t blame yourselves”. None of it was based on the guy’s appearance, but anyway.

Thank you all and goodnight! ❤️

OP posts:
SuziQuinto · 08/06/2026 22:20

Like many others on here, I knew it would turn up. It was lost rather than stolen.
Good news! (keep it safe ☺️)

Piknik · 08/06/2026 22:21

I knew it was in the house. Ha! So pleased for you and for me being right

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/06/2026 22:27

AMAZING news. Unlike others I don't care about being right or wrong and I'm just happy that you found it ❤️

SuziQuinto · 08/06/2026 22:36

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 08/06/2026 22:27

AMAZING news. Unlike others I don't care about being right or wrong and I'm just happy that you found it ❤️

It's not about being right or wrong, is it? Most people thought it was lost rather than stolen, which gave the hope of finding it again. It's good that was the case rather than theft, which is always invasive, horrible, and gave little hope of it being retrieved.
I'm sure we're all just glad for the OP that it's found, that's the positive here.

stayathomegardener · 08/06/2026 22:48

Thanks for the honest update.

So pleased for you both.

Heylittlesongbird · 08/06/2026 23:12

I’m delighted for you that it has been found. I also appreciate your honesty in updating us as opposed to just letting the thread tail off.

CombatBarbie · 08/06/2026 23:14

Ok how did the camera not pick her up?

Glad its turned up but youve made the guy you accused look like a thief when he was blameless all this time.

thebrollachan · 08/06/2026 23:15

Why did nobody notice that the other stuff that had been on the chest of drawers (in front of the cabinet) had also disappeared, as well as the ring box?

LasersInTheJungle · 08/06/2026 23:20

CombatBarbie · 08/06/2026 23:14

Ok how did the camera not pick her up?

Glad its turned up but youve made the guy you accused look like a thief when he was blameless all this time.

To whom does he look like a thief?

deeahgwitch · 08/06/2026 23:24

Delighted you found it.

Rightsraptor · 08/06/2026 23:27

I'm so glad you found it.

troothfairy · 08/06/2026 23:28

thebrollachan · 08/06/2026 23:15

Why did nobody notice that the other stuff that had been on the chest of drawers (in front of the cabinet) had also disappeared, as well as the ring box?

Well, quite. Where’s that pile of stuff gone? I would’ve noticed a suddenly clear surface. Odd.

bellsofnorwich · 08/06/2026 23:28

she moved it along with some other things in order to open the cabinet door as she was hunting for the rug cleaning product! It all got swept into a box and dumped in a cupboard in a different room. Unbelievable.

Oh, yes, that's totally normal behaviour.

bellsofnorwich · 08/06/2026 23:30

Neither of them noticed all the stuff gone! Not even the husband who is "very efficient and has an excellent memory".

Zov · 08/06/2026 23:41

Marooney · 08/06/2026 22:18

Guys we have found the ring! 🎉 So happy!

It was our cleaner on a stealth visit to borrow my rug cleaner, without letting me know either before or after she came! The ledge I mentioned the ring was on is actually a strip of space on top of a chest of drawers in front of a cabinet which rests directly on the drawers, and she moved it along with some other things in order to open the cabinet door as she was hunting for the rug cleaning product! It all got swept into a box and dumped in a cupboard in a different room. Unbelievable.

Pre-empting a couple of obvious questions..

Why did I not question cleaner earlier? She had already done her fortnightly clean and never comes between visits. She doesn’t have a key. I did offer to lend her the machine at some point, but didn’t expect her to come into my house when I wasn’t there! She is totally trustworthy but that’s a bit odd isn’t it? Only came up today when she returned the machine I didn’t know she had..

Have I told Bob? Yes, third person I messaged after DP and my mum. He was happy and replied something along the lines of “I do tell (friend) to take more care of his appearance so this kind of thing doesn’t happen to him, don’t blame yourselves”. None of it was based on the guy’s appearance, but anyway.

Thank you all and goodnight! ❤️

Excited George Costanza GIF

HOOORRAAAYYYY! Grin

You have had a bit of a rough ride on this thread@Marooney but I am so genuinely pleased your ring has turned up.

AND IT WASN'T THE WORKMEN! Shock

Pretty brave - and decent - of you to come on here and admit it wasn't any of the workmen. Took some courage that did. (To admit it's been found, and it wasn't them like you suspected.)

Nice one. Smile Thank you for letting us know.

I wish all the happiness in the world to you and your fiance (soon to be husband!) 😘

BettyBoh · 08/06/2026 23:57

Why did the ring doorbell not pick up your cleaner? Why did Bob not remember your cleaner coming? She has no key! Who let her in? Why did you fail to notice the rug cleaner was gone? Why didn’t you notice other stuff had been cleared from the cabinet area? Why didn’t you notice the sudden box of stuff in a cupboard when you searched your entire house for the ring?

Delphiniumandlupins · 09/06/2026 00:01

So glad it's found.

I once found my house keys, after several days, in the bag of clothes pegs. Only then did I remember rushing to get washing in as it was starting to rain when we got home from school. I thought I had searched everywhere they could possibly (and impossibly) be.

RedTagAlan · 09/06/2026 00:06

Good stuff :-)

Although as a whodunnit I gotta say it would have been easier if you had mentioned a cleaner before now.

What next, the cleaner is the Butlers husband, and his name is C Mustard :-)

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