AIBU to confront workmen about stealing my engagement ring?

[Marooney]

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

It's not telepathy. It's about evidence and probability.
Occam's Razor.
The very opposite of telepathy.

My guess is that OP or DH has put it somewhere 'safe' while distracted by something else. Human memory is notoriously fallible.

I’d have decapitated that offensive object!

Poor gnome. But yes we had horrendous heavy hail after 36* last Tue

Mmm. Were they a bit thick? If the police took their fingerprints and the ring was missing, where would they look for those prints?

It was probably down the back of the sofa all the time.

OP hasn't been back since about six o clock last night. She put 121 posts on in less than 30 hours, and has now gone quiet. Nothing for 16 hours. 👀 (Yes, I'm too invested! 😆)

Looks like she's found the ring (or her DP has) and she's too embarrassed to come back and tell us. 😬

Seriously though, hope you've found it @Marooney

She kept it in the bathroom cabinet? That’s what they would print obviously? The workman would have to think of a legitimate reason to have gone into a bathroom cabinet in a private house.

There is nothing in the thread that says the people accused were workmen. Whoever it was could just say they had a headache and were looking for paracetamol. Fingerprints on a cabinet would certainly not be exclusive proof of guilt. Also there is no way the police would come and take fingerprints so I'm surprised they believed that.

Maybe she was, I dont know, ASLEEP for most of that time?

Tbh considering the utter batshittery and lack of reading comprehension from the amateur sherlocks on this thread id be abandoning it too!

Not to mention her last post basically summed up the situation - she doesnt know whats happened to it and is unlikely to ever find out. Why would she keep coming back to argue with loons intent on insulting her and her family and zooming in on grainy images of her DP's shorts pockets?

What is so batshit about being in the old school of innocent till proven guilty ?

OP was convinced it was Bobs mate. All based from a grainy photo. And it turns out her cam is not working well, nor was the photo at the actual door.

Op appears to have changed position.

And given that her DH is a tradesman, who also likely does jobs in houses, I would have thought that "the tradesman did it" is a worthwhile accusation to tackle.

And there’s nothing to say the potential perpetrators had legitimate access to the bathroom cabinet. It all depends on the circumstances which we don’t know. Of course the Police would look for fingerprints if an expensive item of jewellery had been stolen. Admittedly it’s the sort of job given to a student officer and I speak ex Police.

She's not in the UK though, so we don't know what the police are like. She said they weren't interested when she was mugged, so I'd say it's unlikely they'd investigate.

Thank you and you’re right, I shouldn’t be doing that but it was keeping me entertained.. The photo/pocket/bulge/key sleuthing had me quite enthralled actually!

Frankly I don’t see how Occam’s razor precludes it having been stolen by workmen! It’s not as though we haven’t thoroughly searched. In this instance I do believe Bob though

I never said that. I'm challenging the claim about "telepathy".
It's missing. We don't know why or how.
It could be lost. It could be stolen. A magpie could have taken it. Your partner could have pawned it.
Occam's Razor - What's the most probable reason?

I do believe in innocent until proven guilty hence the original point of this thread!

I believe you misunderstood about the photo- I said from the start he clearly wasn’t hiding the ring and it was probably a drink can- however it did look dodgy carrying something under his shirt in that way. The distance from the door is entirely irrelevant! He was on my property, heading out of the gate, with something stuffed under his shirt, I thought it was worth a mention in the circumstances. However I do accept that it was indeed a drinks can, as Bob immediately said.

No we don’t know- but Occam would preclude the magpie and the pawning, at least in this particular case

My point exactly. The somewhat wild claims about "telepathy" was what I was refuting.

The camera was a red herring, I’m aware it provided no useful information other than seeing DP leave without the ring in his hand.

Yes I have changed my position after talking to Bob- is that ok? :)

Well there you go. It did not start off as a red herring. At the start it was your evidence.

It wasn’t! 😆Please re-read where I posted about the photo

Not found yet unfortunately. I think we have ruled out Bob and his mate though, so the mystery remains. Believe me if it turns up in DP’s things I’ll not only be telling you, I’ll be cancelling the engagement!

Poor bloke! He's fallible 😉

Nah. I have my version of events and I am sticking to them :-)

It's down between the gearstick and the seat in DH van.

A secondhand car I had once, I was looking for something in it one day and found a bottle of Lourdes water down there.

See, I have experience of that bit of cars. That's what I am bringing to the table.