Dog dilemma

[TrínaCheile]

Husband has planned a trip to the football
Final in Budapest this weekend.

Our 7yo dog took really sick completely out of the blue, last Friday, was critical for a while, is now stable but still in vet hospital since Monday. Hopefully things looking more positive but don’t know if/when she might be able to come home etc. of course it’s costing a fortune but I wasn’t really thinking of that.

husband broached the subject last night of the football weekend, it hadn’t come up all week. The way he put it to me want great and got my back up a bit (he sort of flippantly mentioned me possibly having to make hard decisions on my own and also mentioned costs wracking up - giving him benefit of doubt on this) so we had an argument because i basically wasn’t giving him my full blessing to go.
I am not stopping him, never would or have, but i also wasn’t encouraging him…

tried to rationally explain this morning that not stopping him etc, but this time I didn’t think it unreasonable that I feel this way.

he brought up my weekend away with girls two weeks ago and said if that was now he would be actively pushing be out the door to try have a good time. This dog week has been anything but a good time…i don’t know what I would have done so won’t be righteous on that but my gut is feeling I couldn’t have gone.:
anyway I don’t doubt he would have been encouraging me to go - but still I feel this is a bit manipulative?

he is angry that he has to make the choice himself and will be inclined not to go given how I feel

I resent being made to feel the bad guy here..

appreciate objective views!

Firstly I do have pets, but I’m confident to make decision about their health on my own if necessary, including when it’s been the right time to end any suffering or the next steps of treatment during serious illness.

I’ve not aimed to deminish your feelings and I apologise if it feels like that. You haven’t communicated clearly to us or your husband how you feel or what support you need. You instead, sat on the fence, not asking to him to stay. If that’s what you need, tell him, be part of that decision, he can then make his own choice.

Oh, I didn't mean that you don't have the money to treat your dog - I was just talking about the general attitude on mumsnet.

I do think it's sensible of him to talk about the cost, though. It's best to talk about that early, rather than in a crisis.

I do think you are putting him in a bit of a no win situation. Telling him to go but being grumpy about it is contradictory.

We took a specialist vets advice middle of last year and went ahead with an incredibly expensive surgery for our dog….i should have done the kindest thing for our boy at the time and not put him through it, he never fully recovered and we made the most difficult decision late January and wt our boy go….the pain is still indescribable honestly, he was with me always, my life literally…..the silence is deafening but we take comfort knowing that he is no longer in pain and at peace now. I totally understand how you are feeling…..do what you think is best for your dog…our boy was 8. X

Most importantly, how is she doing today?

For those who asked thank you, she is not good, condition is starting to worsen again.
vet has suggested some more intervention to get her more comfortable and give her a boost would be reasonable - aim is always to allow time for the meds to take effect, it takes time unfortunately.

Thankfully it is not surgical or intrusive treatment at least.

Updated husband (on train somewhere in Austria) and he agrees it is worth it to give her some more time. But if a corner is not turned early next week we are realistic on prognosis..

I’m sorry to hear it’s not better news 💔

But it doesn’t sound like there is no hope at all and so hopefully this time tomorrow she will start getting a bit better.

I have been in a similar situation at least twice with my dog and it was very much of case of it looks likes having to be PTS but she made a full recovery and lived many years after.
The last time due to her age and progressive illness it was the kindest thing to do as she was dying but it was just a slow, more painful death but even then it was such a hard decision.

They are literally our children and the grief that comes with losing a pet is indescribable.
I hope you have a few more years with her yet 💐💐

Me too

Thinking of you and sending positive vibes and thoughts to your pooch OP xx

So he’s feeling guilty but trying to make it your decision. That’s a little emotionally manipulative. I too have cancelled plans because my dog was ill. I’ve also cancelled plans because I looked at my dog and realised I’d spent little time with him that week and I didn’t want to leave him. The love I have for that little creature has shocked me and both of my children share it - it has weirdly made us closer to each other.

people who don’t have dogs often don’t get it. That’s fine. Just don’t get a dog.

@TheHungryHungryLandsharksgoldens or German shepherds?

@cubistqueen five Goldens!

@TrínaCheile sorry to hear your girl isn't improving. Will keep my fingers crossed she pulls through.

Five! You brave woman. They are wonderful though.

@TrínaCheilegot everything crossed for a good prognosis. You will know when the time comes to say goodbye. They do tell us.