To be angry at my mum over an animal in distress

[Corintha]

My mum has just text me in casual conversation to say that there is a pigeon trapped in the chimney vent in her and my dad’s bedroom. She says that they heard it fall down early this morning and it has been in there cooing ever since and is clearly stuck.

I have asked what she intends to do about it, whether she is going to get my dad to take the vent off or call someone in. She doesn’t want to take the vent off as it will be messy and doesn’t want to call anyone out as she says she’s too busy with other life admin (she’s a carer for adult autistic sibling). She says “It’s a shame but it’s life” and she’s just going to leave it and let nature run its course.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit as she seems okay to lay in bed for the next few nights listening to an animal die in a horrible way. The vent is behind their bed board ffs! I’ve also warned her that the smell is going to be horrendous and she will have flies but she is insisting it will be fine. It’s a vent, of course the smell is going to seep through.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit and she has told me to go away and blocked me saying “it’s not the first time an animal has died in a chimney and won’t be the last”.

AIBU to think she’s being incredibly thick. I’m so angry at her and I don’t know what to do as I live an hour away and don’t drive, it’s 3 hours away on public transport

She’s already said she lives hours away

A pigeon got stuck in a vent in my classroom wall at some point over Easter. I didn't know until it started to smell.

It was unholy. And even when the cause was identified and removed the stench lingered for weeks. Literally. It permeated the wall because it didn't dry out, it putrified - and the smell of putrefaction is horrific.

There no soft furnishings in my classroom, thank god, but my CLOTHES picked up the smell!

I assume they don't want to replace bed, bedding, curtains, carpets?

In the heat decomp starts rapidly and accelerates at speed. She won't know it's starting to rot until it's too late.

From experience (that I couldn't do anything about) she's being incredibly foolish.

Feel free to tell her how my pupils were retching, even with the windows open. It was so bad we moved out at one stage.

Also it’s not up a chimney

You are unreasonable to “lose your shit” at you DM over this. That is an over reaction and you should learn to control yourself. Different people have different considerations - personally my first reaction is similar to your mums, these thing happen, it’s part of nature/life. But I would be more concerned about the potential smell of a decaying bird, though given the fact you have access to the vent right there I would open it up and see if I could get to it. But I wouldn’t be tearing my chimney down to save a pigeon no.

If you tell the RSPCA would they help>

Your mum has a limit to how much hassle she’s prepared to go to to rescue the pigeon. So do you. They are different limits but I don’t see that there’s a great moral gulf between your decision and hers.

We have an old house with chimneys.
We've had loads fall down over the years - to remove them would mean removing the fire.

very well put.

Why didn't you have a grill on the chimneys?

Can the RSPB help with this?

It’s not just about the welfare of the pigeon. The pigeon will be directly behind their heads when they are sleeping. They are older and my dad already has chest problems. I’m concerned about them breathing in air from pigeon droppings and the eventual decomposition of the pigeon. It is behind the vent, the vent has several horizontal gaps in. There is a cheap flimsy headboard in front of the vent, their heads will be mere centimetres away from the decomposing animal

A friend of mine once found maggots on her stairs one day, and tracked them down to a bird that had died in the loft. They had smelt an odd smell but thought it was drains. She was hysterical with all the maggots. I couldn't live knowing something was decaying behind my bed 🤢

Well o guess you just have to let her experience the stench and say I told you so. Sad for pigeons slow death though 😔

@BillieWiper I'm probably going to be unpopular when I say this but I consider pigeons to be vermin

How very odd of you. Bet you love robins don’t you? Anyone who thinks it’s ok to not rescue a living creature when it’s possible to do so is disgusting.

That's the key point here isn't it? When it's possible to do so.
It's sad and I could understand some of the responses if it was 100% certain nothing could be done but the not even trying part is what is horrifying me.

Once dead the rotting body will stink & attract flies, maybe draw you mothers attention to that…..takes about 3weeks for the stink to die down.
The flies get in the same way the pigeon did.

Is the grille designed to be easily removed, and do your parents know how to remove it?

So your “busy” is more important than hers?

I must admit I couldn’t live with it either…

She sounds devoid of empathy, i couldn't listen to an animal in distress even if it does die least they could try and get it out, but it will die and stink im sure she will worry then!

Could your Dad help it or someone else closer by? Or if you told her you were coming to do it, would that motivate her to do something? I would have trouble relating to someone who was so cruel to an animal tbh. I would make it very clear to her that you aren't just going to forget about this and it will affect how you think about her in future.

Possibly because the chimney is that of her parents' house and not hers, and people can't go around making changes to houses that don't belong them simply because their parents live there?

It is not an overreaction.

The mum literally has to take a vent off.
Its a 10min job and could save a life.

She’s a heartless cow and I just hope no one leaves her suffering and in pain when she’s older.

So does your dad not get a say in this?

Presumably he can remove the vent & clean up afterwards if he wants to?

So your “busy” is more important than hers?

Don't be silly.

That’s a silly comment.

The mum is in the house and it’s a 10min job.

OP is a 6 hour trip away.
Even if OP left within the next 10mins, it would be almost midnight before she got home - that’s if buses even run that late.

Of course it is much more difficult for OP to get there and do it herself.