To be angry at my mum over an animal in distress

[Corintha]

My mum has just text me in casual conversation to say that there is a pigeon trapped in the chimney vent in her and my dad’s bedroom. She says that they heard it fall down early this morning and it has been in there cooing ever since and is clearly stuck.

I have asked what she intends to do about it, whether she is going to get my dad to take the vent off or call someone in. She doesn’t want to take the vent off as it will be messy and doesn’t want to call anyone out as she says she’s too busy with other life admin (she’s a carer for adult autistic sibling). She says “It’s a shame but it’s life” and she’s just going to leave it and let nature run its course.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit as she seems okay to lay in bed for the next few nights listening to an animal die in a horrible way. The vent is behind their bed board ffs! I’ve also warned her that the smell is going to be horrendous and she will have flies but she is insisting it will be fine. It’s a vent, of course the smell is going to seep through.

I’ve lost my shit with her a bit and she has told me to go away and blocked me saying “it’s not the first time an animal has died in a chimney and won’t be the last”.

AIBU to think she’s being incredibly thick. I’m so angry at her and I don’t know what to do as I live an hour away and don’t drive, it’s 3 hours away on public transport

I don’t know if I’m overreacting because I’m pregnant. At the end of the day it’s her house and not mine but I feel disgusted with her

I agree with you. It’s totally unreasonable to leave an animal trapped and in distress.

Wow that's absolutely awful. Does she usually act like she has no feelings about living creatures?

I would be furious if someone I knew did that. And I agree with you about the smell - over the summer good god <vomit>

Well if there’s a vent then she’s better off removing the vent now and trapping the animal in a towel and throwing it outside rather than letting it die, that’s going to fucking stink.

No she claims to be an animal lover and has a dog.

i’m so fucking furious at her and she is happily going to lay there listening to it coo as it starves to death

and she’s so thick for thinking it won’t smell or attract flies because “it’s behind the vent and the vent is covered by the bed board”

There would have been someone willing to come out, if she had have posted on a animal group on FB. We have a specific one for Pigeons and Gulls.

If its just a panel that needs unscrewing, I can't see why anyone wouldn't do that. The fly problem is going to be horrendous when it starts rotting.

We moved into a new build with an open chimney that had been stood empty for 6 months. Clearly a bird had got trapped and died as the lounge was full of flies. Like something out of a horror film. We got a chimney sweep in who removed 2 dead rooks.

If it matters so much to you, why don’t you go and release the bird yourself, and clear up the mess for her? Or offer to look after your brother for the day so she has the time and headspace to deal with it?

Is it not worth the effort to you to go over and sort it out yourself?

Did you not read she is 3 hours sway on public transport? Or are you the mother.

I’m 7 months pregnant and a 3 hour train ride away and then would be another 3 hour train ride back and I work at 7am tomorrow.

It won’t smell. Sadly i live in a house where birds fall down the chimney all the time and because the vent is sealed up with only one bar remaining we can’t get to it . I couldn’t listen to it alive still though .

Nah, being 'busy' isn't a good excuse to allow an animal to suffer.

That’s the thing the vent is behind their bed board and the vent has loads of holes in and she seems happy to listen to it in distress biding her time until it dies. It would be easy for my dad to unscrew the vent, grab the bird in a towel and take it outside. If it does die I hope it stinks to high heaven because they would deserve it for being so bloody stupid

Perhaps she will reflect on what you’ve said and get it sorted?

She says she can hear it very loudly, when I’ve told her that if she can hear it she’ll certainly be able to smell it she says I’m being ridiculous! So stupid.

For reference this is the type of vent

Poor pidge 😔

She sounds utterly grim. Not much else we can say. No doubt she'd want rescued if she fell down a chimney, though should that event ever happen, do put your feet up and leave her be won't you.

Why can't your dad sort it then? Why blame your mum?

It'll reek the place out if it dies and she just leaves it there. But if she can live with that then fair enough.

I'm probably going to be unpopular when I say this but I consider pigeons to be vermin and I wouldn't be desperately upset about its suffering. Unfortunately it's true that when they fly the nest, many birds don't survive for reasons like this or being eaten by predators. If they all did survive we'd be overwhelmed.

SAVE THE PIGEON! Where is she? If she’s near me I’ll go and say I can hear it and does she want help to get it out.

what if you speak to your dad directly? Will he help it?

I wouldn’t make the choice your mum is making but yabu to rage at her but not put your money where your mouth is and go over there to help her with it.
I know it’s a long way and you are pregnant. But clearly it feels prohibitively difficult to her as well. So either do something constructive to help her or leave her to deal with it in her own way.

What a disgusting reaction from your mum. Sure it is probably quite difficult to rescue a pigeon from a small, narrow, difficult to access and windy space but not giving a fuck rather than at least giving it a try because not getting soot all over the place is more important than not letting an animal starve to death in the dark.

What a disgusting nasty and frankly ignorant attitude.

Sorry, that's hard to hear the pigeon is going to most likely die because nobody gives a shit.