To let my SIL go for a walk with my DD?

[Trustwithboudaries]

I think i am being unreasonable! But here's the situation. We haven't let my SIL be alone with our DD now 5, without us nearby. My DH doesn't trust her not to eg give DD sweets without telling us, be safe enough etc. She has previously broken our trust by sharing photos without our permission but also has been really good for the past 6 months or more about respecting rules and boundaries. However DH and I still talked about not letting SIL be with DD5 fully alone. We are currently on holiday with her (SIL), DH, DD5 and DD 2 months. After 9 hrs of travel we arrived. I made dinner, we ate, DH went for a nap and SIL offered to take DD5 for a walk in the holiday park for 20mins. DD was crying and needing to feed after refusing all day. I was exhausted and needed to prepare for bedtime. So without thinking I agreed to the walk without asking DH. DD5 and SIL are back safely and as far as I can tell nothing we would be uncomfortable with happened. But I really shouldn't have agreed to the walk, should I? What can I do to repair the breach of trust? This is a huge deal to DH.

If he cannot trust his own sister, then don't take her on holiday and put you and her in the position you found yourself in when he was asleep. Next time you book a holiday, just do it for him, you and the children.
I'd be concerned he's hiding something about her.

I am more worried for the SIL with ye. Ye sound extreme and are displaying very strange behaviour. Are you okay? You sound afraid of something.

Not sure about which way the voting is meant to be, but he has no right to be annoyed if he buggered off for a nap when he was still needed.
Looks like others have said the same and you have bigger fish to fry, I hope you manage to work everything through in a way that brings you happiness. x

@Trustwithboudaries
So simply, I honestly think you just have to ask husband what does he honestly know about SIL that you don't which makes him dislike her so

I have no idea why your SIL wants to be anywhere near her brother or you, you need to chill out. Sweets? Are you for real? So what?

"We arrived. I cooked dinner. DH went for a nap" says it all really. Why does he get to go for a nap when you are both parents? To be honest and I am trying not to be mean you sound like a doormat and he sounds like a lazyControlling bully.

I am confused. After nine hours of travel they let you cook dinner, then he went for a nap and, now you have to apologise for his rules regarding his own sister.

Someone is being taken for a mug here and it definitely is not your SIL.

At some point in this thread you said you were going to have counselling. That is a good thing as perhaps it may give you guidelines on how to stop his controlling behaviour.

I sincerely hope you have your own family and friends. If he has isolated you from any of them for whatever reason, then that is a major red flag.

Look after yourself and protect your children from turning out like their Father who appears to have double standards.

Well your DH can’t just waltz off for a sleep then can he?

So your husband is happy to use his sister for her free help but not 100% trusting her. I’m sorry op if I didn’t trust someone with my dc I certainly wouldn’t be holidaying with them. Op your dh is controlling which you seem to have noticed but using his own sister is horrible behaviour she’s either ok or not. The poor woman obviously loves the children but it’s not very kind to use her.

Poor SIL. If I was her I’d tell the pair of you to fuck off.

Weird post award for the day.
Unless sil has just been let out of prison for child murder.
You are modelling some very poor behaviour for your kids. Please stop.

So your husband (and you) don't trust his sister but he asks her to help him parent when you aren't there. You both (or just him I may have missed who's idea it was) asked her to join you on holiday to help with the very children she isn't trusted with. You don't like asking your husband to parent his children because he doesn't react well to this. I reckon you and especially him are the issue. Not the sister.

Exactly this.

Why on earth did you go on holiday with her as the only other adult when you’re bound to be busy and appreciate help, if you don’t trust her. Does she think she’s been invited to help with the children?
Surely you could have just set out boundaries for her and either she agreed and came on holiday with you or not and stayed at home.

DH went for a nap when you arrived and SIL took your daughter out and you're worriend about it? You and your DH sound a bit odd. I'm feeling sorry for your SIL. Hope she survives the holiday.

Edited as wrong thread

What could she do to her in 20 minutes? Is she a convicted child abuser or raging violent crack head?!

this is bonkers so she’s good enough to the free childcare but not trustworthy enough for a walk. AND your DH gets her over to help when you’re not here.

does she know that you both think she’s useless while she gives up her free time to watch your kids?

Sister in law is in her 30’s? And because she once shared photos, she is being punished nonstop?

The mind boggles.
And I bet he’d be the first to be pissed off if she didn’t show adequate levels of interest in the kids.

How sad

Sorry, that did make me laugh!

Sounds like you have a DH problem rather than a SIL problem

Your SIL is not the problem here, your lazy, controlling husband is. Hopefully this thread has opened your eyes to this

Why on earth do you need help on holiday with your own kids?

Well he obviously does t dislike here ouch to invite her on holiday or come to his house to help with the kids when his wife is out

😂😂😂