AIBU to think my boyfriend’s views on women’s age are misogynistic?

[SapphireSteel28]

I have had an unexpected argument with my boyfriend. I was talking about a friend’s struggle with online dating (this was how we met) and mentioned that she had set her age parameters to 45-65 and she is 54. He laughed and said she was silly to think a 45 year old would be interested in a woman of her age, and said that when he was 45 he was with a woman of 33. He is six years older than me. I said I thought his attitude was misogynistic and that if « age is just a number » as he has said when discussing his two ex wives who were both 12 years younger her, then that should apply both ways. He tried to placate me by telling me that I look ten years younger than I am, but that’s not my point.
I think it’s grim that men are judged on status, intelligence and humour primarily and that the best thing a woman has to offer is her youth.

AIBU to think that his attitude is misogynistic ?

Do his balls hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can he tie them in a knot
Can he tie them in a bow?

Can he throw them over his shoulder
Like a continental solider
Do his balls hang low?

5 - 10 years either side is fine though it’s rarer than a man is interested in a much older woman from experience (5 years max). There’s practical reasons to be of a similar generation but ultimately it’s who you click with. I love to say he’s misogynistic but actually he’s just realistic I’m afraid

Yep. Misogynist. Reminds me of all the old ugly men who comment on pictures of gorgeous celebrity women saying that they’re ’past it’ 🙄

Its not at that point, but I have a few friends in their mid fifties who have been recently widowed (some after caring for their elderly husbands since their mid-forties) having married men 10 to 20 years older.

I’m 55 and am thankful that my DH (53) and I are at the same life stage.

Yes, it’s the same guy!

Very intelligent but can’t perceive of a world where anyone else could have different tastes / preferences than him.
At the very least, he can’t see past the end of his own nose!

jdb9803

ah sorry I read it wrong, sorry op!

He's doing the bog standard mick jagger/rod Stewart playbook, "women are like cars, trade her in for the younger model" so watch your back, he will trade you in. Gross
.

I don’t think many 45 years old would be interested in a 54 year old. Male or female.

Well tbh I think he has a fair point.

Most of the men in our social group are 40-45 and no, I don't think most would be interested in a 54 year old woman as a 'new' date. It's different if you've been together 20 years and reach those ages together imo because the age gap can be overcome by shared history etc. But for a dating pool...realistically plenty of men in their 40s will filter out 50+.

Oh OP, raise your bar.

He’s an arsehole

I met my chap when I was 54 and he was 47. Still together, 7 years later.

I think it’s because a 45 year old man could find a women say aged 36-38 and have kids. But yes not everyone wants kids.

This 😂

His age gap relationships havent worked out too well for him have they? 🤭

what an absolute bellend

YABU for dating someone with two ex wives. Huge red flag to me.

And yes he does sound like he thinks youth=attractiveness, but only for women.

Just read your butt plugs comment. Sex-obsessed creep with no sense of what’s socially appropriate. Plus misogynistic. Is he really good-looking or something?

My closest friend used to complain her husband lacked imagination with gifts, flowers, balloons, teddies, chocolates....when they were dating.

I am so going to tell her that butt plugs are what the utter dregs gift these days🙄

It's just hopeless, isn't it?

Not in my friendship group!

He’s average looking for his age. He’s quite sweet and charming, and really good in bed.

And yet MANY men date women 10 years younger than them. It is misogynistic

That's a bit grim either way around. How old was she when they met?

He sounds like a charmer...

Two ex-wives and misogynist comments.

OP raised your standards and dump him.

Vile pig.

There was a dating app i was on where you can see peoples age limits, and 99/100 men would date 10,15,20 years younger, but only 5 years older. One bloke even said he wanted someone 28 years max, when he was 40.

Can't lie. I wouldnt be able to get past or fancy someone with your bfs attitude.