To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

I think outfits need to be appropriate for school, even on non uniform days.

But what does "apppropriate for school" even mean?

I’m a female teacher. I feel really awkward sometimes when people have super short skirts and they’re bending over a desk and literally showing their pants. And I’m relieved to be female because I know if I was accidentally looking that way and spotted it, someone would accuse me of perving if I was male. Sometimes people wear really low cut tops and I also feel awkward about it, because it’s just not appropriate in a professional environment for anyone to be showing off bras, pants, thongs, enormous amounts of cleavage.

so yeah, maybe not voiced well but I agree with the sentiment. And I’m so glad not to be male in this situation.

Standard, women have to cover up because men can't control themselves 🙄. Disgusting comment. I would make a complaint.

Yes I agree

No one should cover up for someone else. So long as no genitalia are on show, it’s just a body. Any form of shaming is wrong, and let’s face it, it’s normally women who are on the receiving end.
What’s wrong with having arms, or legs, or stomachs on display? Pretty much everyone on the planet has one. It’s time we stopped making people feel ashamed for having a body.
If anyone suggests it’s because women/girls then become sexualised, go give your head a wobble. That’s the problem of the person doing the sexualising, not the person being comfortable in their own skin.

This has been on before.

I just can't understand why this would make you feel awkward. It's so common in schools for girls to roll up their skirts etc.. surely if standard teenage behaviour makes you feel awkward, then teaching might not be the profession for you.

I would imagine most things have, no?

Yes. You’re absolutely right. Let’s encourage these children to walk around showing actual underwear and actual butt cheeks if they’re wearing a thong. Well done girls, let it all hang out because you can.

🙄

It’s probably not the best way to put it by whomever said this, but it does sound like it could be an inappropriate outfit for school. Teachers may have to be somewhat close to a student eg to help with work and if a student is wearing a vest top with cleavage this could be quite awkward for a male teachers, or any teacher to be honest. There would usually be rules about appropriate attire. At my school best tops, crop tops, football tops aren’t allowed even for 6th form and on uniform days and I think it’s fair. This sort of clothing isn’t helpful for a working environment.

Isn't there something off about saying an outfit is fine if you are one shape and not another? At what cup size should one stop wearing a vest? What is the rule?

What absolute nonsense. It’s just a body. Why do boobs or legs or arms make you feel uncomfortable? Where’s the line, do calves make you feel a bit weird, or shoulders? Who gets to decide what is ‘appropriate’ or not?! So long as someone’s private parts aren’t hanging out, flapping around, it’s just a human being. Simply avert your eyes, it’s not difficult!

A vest top is inappropriate for school.

I don't think I mentioned anything about encouraging it 🤔

WTF?! What is wrong with some of you?!

I have two thoughts:

Firstly, the 'male teachers' line is utter bollocks. I've worked in schools: male teachers are hyper-aware of not even breathing around female pupils. Also, I do not accept that adults - even men - cannot behave professionally no matter what the others are wearing. I'm sure none of the 'male teachers' even blinked. They know not to look.

Secondly, I think all everyone at schools, including pupils, should should dress professionally. Everyone should be wearing a proper shirt of some kind. Strappy tops are not acceptable in an formal office setting (which, ultimately schools are). If the aforementioned male teachers turned up in wife beaters or similar 'strappy tops' that would be unacceptable. Likewise if the female teachers were wearing camisoles/cami tops/strappy tops, that also would be too informal.

So, kindly, OP, help your DD find something more formal to wear.

None of these PP seem to have set foot in a school recently 🤭

"Inappropriate for school"... pretty sure DD can learn algebra just fine in a vest top

Oh god, I agree with everybody. I hate that. 😂

I’m a teacher, secondary. I know full well what children look like and wear in school.

I think it's fine to insist on uniform standards, because we all have to dress appropriately for the context we are in, whether that be school, work, wedding, beach etc.

It's not acceptable though for the reason to be that you are making others (particularly men) uncomfortable. That is the far end of the "she was asking for it in that outfit" continuum. It's also not the reason - dress codes are about communicating behavioural expectations and social norms, not to make men feel at ease.

The outfit needs to be appropriate. It’s not really to do with them being male teachers. I’m a 40 something woman and I’d feel uncomfortable with a load of flesh flashing in a school. Sounds like the outfit was appropriate for the beach not the school.

I don't know why an adult man should find this awkward.

How about teaching your child to wear outfits appropriate for the setting OP?