To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

Do people not teach their DC to dress appropriately for school?

No one should be assaulted for wearing revealing clothes. But that doesn't then mean that these outfits are appropriate for school.

A lot of opinions seem to be polarised: as though people will either be totally fine/nonchalant about those who choose to dress in revealing clothes in public; or will otherwise be ragingly turned on and maybe even take it further and choose to sexually assault the wearers.

This weird mindset is plainly ignoring the fact that the majority of people simply don't want to be exposed to strangers' private/intimate body parts in public. It's nothing sexual at all - they (both sexes) simply haven't asked for or consented to somebody dressing inappropriately and against socially-accepted customs in public.

It also seems to ignore the fact that predators who want to commit rapes and sexual assaults will go ahead and do so regardless of what their victims are or aren't wearing.

Sorry wtf?? Praised them?!

Again you shouldn't be attacked for wearing revealing clothes. But it doesn't make wearing revealing clothes okay, especially at school.

I was in a public space at the weekend and there was a family with two teen girls. I think the one in question looked around 13/14. As I turned to look towards the shop she leant forward only a tiny bit and I got an eye full of her knickers and bum cheeks and could see the marks from the chair she’d been sitting on as the skirt she was wearing didn’t actually cover her bottom cheeks. 1) I really didn’t want to see that and made me feel awkward; 2) it must have been uncomfortable sitting on the plastic chair with near bare bum cheeks! Ouch.

I just don’t understand how girls want their bums on show. If someone can explain that then please do.

Girls do this purposely and then complain "oh why are you looking?". Why are dressing like this?

I don't see guys walking around purposely showing off their boxers or making it a thing to show the public

I was at the airport last week and a girl was wearing daisy-duke type shorts but they were made of thin cotton and were stuck in between her bum cheeks, revealing almost all of her bottom. Frankly if was really unpleasant. Almost a whole bare bum would have been on airport and plane seats - ugh.

Those parents saying it’s fine and “Call the school!” I suggest you watch The Crash on Netflix…

I just don’t understand how girls want their bums on show. If someone can explain that then please do.
@jinglejanglescarecat Zoololigically, primates expose and present their buttocks as an invitation to sexual intercourse. Whether young teenage girls are aware of this is open to debate, but they surely can't think it's a neutral, meaningless fashion choice - that would be hard to believe!

If as an adult woman you want to send this message, crack on (ooh - sorry), but at least own it and don't be coy and disingenuous.

I don't see guys walking around purposely showing off their boxers or making it a thing to show the public
@LoudPlumPoet This is my point exactly: boys/men don't feel the need to expose themselves in the way some females do. I think this is because in terms of sexual politics and power, they think they have the upper hand.

This is my point exactly: boys/men don't feel the need to expose themselves in the way some females do. I think this is because in terms of sexual politics and power, they think they have the upper hand.

• Maybe partly...but surely it's also partly due to boys/men being more visually responsive to stimuli (at least to some extent)? I definitely agree power dynamics are important though...TikTok & others reinforce the idea women should gain power via exposing their bodies.

So 16 year olds should be able to go to school naked? I hope the chairs would be regularly cleaned. Still naked while menstruating? No thanks.

Ha ha - yes!

I once watched a documentary about a naturist beach/resort and the members used some small shops which were outside the resort and used by non-naturists. As someone pointed out, if you're rooting through the apples etc and you need to have a scratch...er somewhere...with clothes on, that's one thing...but quite another if you're naked. and exposed areas of flesh - especially backsides - sitting on chairs we all might have to use is off putting for some people.

I know no-one is suggesting anyone goes to school or work naked - I'm just pointing out the fact that exposed flesh has implications for all of us.

They committed 10 rapes between them. The case has been all over the news. It has now been referred to the court of appeal because of the unduly lenient sentences. The boys' identities have not been revealed in order to protect them. Sorry, I tried to post the link but couldn't.

Allegedly, they weren't very bright. They would have no comprehension of boundaries. These are the sort of people that teenage girls need protecting from. Not parading naked in front of them, as some posters have suggested.
We are living in 2026.

I was aware of the case. Just not that they were praised.

Teenage girls know what they're doing.
Many do wear their uniforms skirt inappropriately, and choose inappropriate outfits on non uniform days, because they want the attention of their male peers.

Vest tops are inappropriate regardless of chest size, but they show so much cleavage on larger chested women that draw massive attention to their breasts.
The short skirts that show off underwear or bum cheek, or low cut pants with thongs popping out the top is again, deliberate. They want to be viewed sexually by their male classmates, so they put it on display.

The male teachers do not WANT to see any of this, they aren't lusting after these underage but very physically developed girls. But they have eyes, they can see all this deliberate sexualisation, and no doubt it makes them really uncomfortable.
Hell, i'm a straight woman, and it makes ME uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable when i was their age and it was my female classmates, because it wasn't just what or how they were wearing their clothes, it would be how they physically acted too. They were using body language to flirt and try to tease/turn on the boys, because they liked how the attention made them feel. School is not the place to dress and act like that, so yes, i think its completely justified to ask girls to cover up, because lets face it, the boys don't dress and act like this, it is female behaviour and it is inappropriate to be doing in school.

I'm astounded at the whole faux naivety "it's just skin, fabric etc..." completely ignoring the human body, male psyche and the fact you should dress appropriately for school.

The male teachers do not WANT to see any of this, they aren't lusting after these underage but very physically developed girls. But they have eyes, they can see all this deliberate sexualisation, and no doubt it makes them really uncomfortable.
Hell, i'm a straight woman, and it makes ME uncomfortable. It made me uncomfortable when i was their age and it was my female classmates, because it wasn't just what or how they were wearing their clothes, it would be how they physically acted too. They were using body language to flirt and try to tease/turn on the boys, because they liked how the attention made them feel. School is not the place to dress and act like that, so yes, i think its completely justified to ask girls to cover up, because lets face it, the boys don't dress and act like this, it is female behaviour and it is inappropriate to be doing in school.

You've put this brilliantly - yes, it's not about causing uncontrolled arousal in men (or women, come to that) but about making other people feel uncomfortable, and I certainly do when suddenly confronted with lots of flesh where I'm not expecting to see it!

Safeguarding in schools is rightly a priority but teachers must be very scared of accusations being made against them by (almost always) girls wearing revealing clothing. As a pp mentioned upthread, some kids will throw out an accusation of 'looking at my bum/cleavage' etc just to make trouble. Well put it/them away, then.

I think all students should wear trousers to school and something with sleeves. That's a simple rule which cuts out a lot of the nonsense.

If anybody here was capable of following a conversation, you'd know I was talking about primary school children. Freak.

So still up to age 11, then? They're still hardly toddlers shrieking and running around on the beach, are they? And some of the girls will indeed be menstruating by then anyway.

But this thread is about a big busted 16 year old.

This thread isn't about primary school children. Why are you derailing it? It's about a 16 year old. Hardly a child. She old enough to have kids, get married or join the army ffs.