To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

A vagina is a normal part of a woman's body, doesn't mean it should be on display all the time.

Non uniform doesn't mean wear anything. It means wear school appropriate clothing but not the uniform.

Boys or girls shouldn’t be wearing vest tops at school, regardless of chest size. There are appropriate dress codes for work and school.

Non school uniform is still at school therefore somewhat formal.

Why use the word people? Presumably you mean women or girls?

I agree with this. That's life, after all.

I don't like the "We have male teachers" part. It sends a horrible message to teenage girls.

But why?! No one has told
me this yet? Why do we think the skin of upper arms and chests is so much worse than forearms and necks?! If it’s to do with sexualisation, then that is the person sexualising who has the problem. Not the person wearing the outfit.

It's a non uniform day so quite frankly the teachers / students should be able to.put away their discomfort for 1 day even if students do turn up.in swimwear. Ultimately they are the ones who will feel the most uncomfortable.

In countries without uniform, children wear vest tops all the time with no issue. It's a given that teenagers try to push clothing boundaries so the fact non of us would wear vest tops to work os irrelevant. We would have as teenagers.

Schools should just not have non uniform.day if they are going to fret about things like vest tops.

This.

@FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!

1. Who told her this?
2. Was it a man or woman who said "there are male teachers around?"

In what way you offer a man to control himself since we all know what men are....they are deeply visual and sexual....a young child with big chest is going to look feminine to a man wether we as women like it or not

DD’s school still has some basic rules even on non uniform days. Like most places, there’s a time and place for certain clothes, and not necessarily due to male teachers. But if the school hasn’t issued any rules, then that’s on them.

This
as a man in that environment you’re incredibly exposed to false accusations which are damaging, even when disproven. I’d expect male teachers to do anything they can to avoid the possibility of that

That's his problem.

If we have an non uniform day in the summer quite a few boys turn up in t shirt and shorts and then take the t shirt off

In the course of my work, I’m in city firms, Parliament, government departments, universities and large conferences.

There are plenty of very well respected, professional women wearing low cut tops, including sleeveless and strappy tops in summer.

It’s a class thing. Those with class don’t shove boobs in teachers faces. Fact.

Being told to cover up because 'there are male teachers around' doesn't mean the men are salivating/ can't control themselves around girls etc. It means they are embarrassed/ distracted by trying not to look/ worried about being falsely accused of looking etc.

Your daughter shouldn't have been singled out, and maybe it was badly phrased, but everyone should dress appropriately for a work environment. I feel for teachers (male and female) who don't want the issues caused by children flashing flesh around in class

Then just don’t fucking look!!! Train yourself to look at women’s faces when you talk. Would they have a problem staring at a male colleague’s nipples sticking through his white dress shirt; I bet not.
This is such a bollocks argument. Should a person with burn scars all over their upper body not wear an open neck
blouse because they might accuse people of staring at their scars and damaging their mental health? It’s for individual’s to control their behaviour. And male teachers can absolutely not look at legs, arms or chest areas if they don’t want to.

Do we have to pretend that men don’t get turned on by breasts? To be honest, I don’t want to see teenage girls boobs and I’m a woman. Overly tight, strappy vest tops are not appropriate for school (or a work environments).

@EdithBond And second, because (obvs lesbian, bi) female teachers can perv at girls too. As our PE teacher used to when we had to use the communal showers 🤢

I seriously doubt that lesbian teachers look at female pupils.

Who do you think logs onto the internet to look at nude photographs of women? It's not lesbians who are doing it.

This is so childish though.

As the pp said, she isn't looking to see up skirts etc but just gets confronted by it. I know what this is like out and about too. In fact I really DON'T want to see some of it, but going up escalators etc you inadvertently get an eyeful with some of the things young girls are wearing.

Equally I really do not want to cop an eyeful of a 16 year old boy's genitalia in tight tight boxers, but they tend not to wear these for a day out in London for example.

The attitude of "it's the fault of the people who looked" reminds me of that fart tactic people used in prep school:

Johnny: "Oooh yuck, who farted?"
Farter: "Ooooh Johnny is so weird, Johnny likes sniffing faaarts."

No Johnny does not, but if people unleash he ends up with a noseful.

As a female teacher it is uncomfortable teaching a room of students with their cleavage out, from A cup to H cup. There's bras out, you can see down their tops (unintentionally, literally takes one move on their part) and you're on edge about being accused of staring at anything. Multiply that by 100 for a male teacher. I wouldn't expect to be able to work in clothes with cleavage out. You shouldn't be able to see up, down, under or through clothes as a teacher.

I am a middle aged woman and honestly feel a bit uncomfortable when walking up stairs and see a girls underwear on show. I don’t think that makes me inappropriate. I just think it was badly worded.

How would your DH feel about the young trainees walking around at work in tiny vest tops? I honestly think men get accused of looking in the direction of a young woman.

I think most work places have a basic dress code which involves no shorts, vest tops, flip flops etc.

I don’t want to see teenage boys crotch/arse on show either.

But is a tight turtle neck ok? Is it the skin or the shape you have a problem with? 🤦‍♀️