AIBU to expect a reply after leaving two days early?

[Sam155320]

With 2 days left to go on my notice period, work colleague I work with being nasty with rude comments, bosses ignoring me I came home and emailed/messaged my boss that I won’t be returning for the last 2 days of my notice period as I want some time before starting my new job next week. She’s seen the message but not replied. AIBU to think she should have?

Yes OP should have explained about the colleague’s behaviour, not just stropped off.

You are being unreasonable to expect a reply out of hours from a manager that’s overseeing a company that thinks the silent treatment and bullying is acceptable. That’s like expecting a dog that’s been biting you to be sad you think they are horrible.

It sounds like you wouldn’t have had much of a positive reference from them anyway so I wouldn’t worry about what happens if you need another reference after the new job.

It would have been better to log the behaviour that’s been going on and the impact it’s having and why you feel the need to stop early rather than stropping but it’s done now.

As always on these threads the THINK OF THE COMPANY drones that have either not been in the work place since the last millennium or are the types of managers like your boss who think being toxic and bullying is management are out in force. And being unhinged in their self righteousness on behalf of an unknown company.

I haven’t read the full thread yet but has anyone trotted out the classic ‘my DH who runs a very big important company says you should be punished for not licking the boot and if he was your boss you’d be sent to jail for such insubordination’

What should she have replied with?

In your situation I would have called in sick. Job done and no blowback.

What you have done was try to make them feel guilty, hope for a nice reply. Make yourself feel invalidated and possibly cost yourself two days pay. Oh and give them some ammunition to take the piss about Sam the flouncer

You need to focus on results.

i’m not at all defensive

i strongly suspect you’re all jumping in saying mad things to try and worry OP, and punish her for her naughtiness. They’re disproportionate responses to what is a very small thing in the workplace

I honestly don’t know what you want/expect here, OP. Why, when things had already deteriorated to the point that they were blanking you, when you hadn’t actually done anything wrong, do you expect good luck messages now that you have put yourself in the wrong? You’ve given them the perfect reason to think they’re well rid of you.

I wouldn’t worry about them revoking your reference or dropping poison to your new employer. It’s a lot of effort to go to out of sheer spite. Plus, as someone else has already pointed out earlier on the thread, your reference likely consists of “I can confirm OP held the role of Account Manager at XYZ Ltd from date X to date Y” and nothing more. A lot of Mumsnetters have a very dated view of references.

But otherwise, your departure really isn’t that big a thing for them. I don’t mean that personally, as I have no idea how good or otherwise you were at your job. But very, very few people are truly irreplaceable - and given that they didn’t treat you very well while you were there, I don’t think they’re going to suddenly see the light and send you off with lovely wishes now.

I wouldn't be replying to you, I wouldn't wish you well and if I saw you on the street I wouldn't be stopping for a chat.

Who do you think you are?

I actually agree that the OP is unlikely to face any serious consequences here. References are usually very basic these days, and even fighting to claim back two days’ pay may be more trouble than it’s worth.

But you do seem quite insistent that the manager shouldn’t have to involve HR or Legal here, and I’m not sure why. They don’t necessarily have to hand the entire process over to them, but surely someone refusing to work their notice requires at least a heads-up? Even if it’s literally just “OP isn’t coming back in - do we want to bother claiming back two days pay, or shall I just confirm when she’s planning to return any company property?”, that all needs to be confirmed - which is why it’s so bizarre that OP expected an out of hours reply.

They’ll just be glad you’re gone.

That is not a manager’s job, though. They would not be allowed to do that at the company I work for.

I’ve actually not said anything about OP facing any consequences 🙄

I’m not saying you don’t inform HR (why would you inform legal?!) I’m saying I wouldn’t need them to reply for me over a minor management issue.

I would email my HR business partner and payroll myself to let them know what had happened and I would mark the employee absent on the self service HR portal - which the vast majority of companies would be using. This drives payroll adjustments, not conversations.

there is no action or checking/ advice/ validation required by HR.

If your company has a policy that once people resign only HR are allowed to communicate with them that’s unusual and inefficient as in a best practice scenario a line manger would be able to deal with all of this.

Most managers in my company (which is a very well known, well respected one), would check with HR and/or legal before responding to someone who had essentially told them in writing they were breaching their contract.

That would be the competent thing to do, to ensure you don't accidentally say something you shouldn't. People managers are not expected to be experts in employment law, that's the point of the HR and legal teams in a company.

Managers responding quickly and with no regard for the policy, employment law, or any future consequences are the ones I'd deem incompetent.

Tell HR WHY you are staying at home! Make sure you fill them in on the blanking you and ignoring you from bosses and the rudeness as this is almost constructive dismissal in other scenarios and their behaviour is classed as bullying

but what employment law situations do you think this could impact?

im sure you’re just saying this for the sake of it. It’s minor occurrence that in itself has no legal implications.

You’re being ridiculous pretending that the in house legal team need to be informed of the minor employment “contract breach” of a leaver.

Say the manager goes back and says "you're right, everyone's been really mean to you, off you pop". Then the employee decides to go for constructive dismissal, because they've felt unwelcome in the company due to the behaviour of the colleagues mentioned by OP. They've got something in writing that incriminates the company.

Legal don't need to be "informed" this is happening. But they're there to make sure the company is covered, legally, in all scenarios. Why do you think they shouldn't be used to do that? It may only be a minor breach, but there are potential consequences which should be managed appropriately.

Most managers in my company (which is a very well known, well respected one), would check with HR and/or legal before responding to someone who had essentially told them in writing they were breaching their contract

OP could claim that any 'thanks, OK' reply was an agreement by manager and not showing up was therefore authorised.

Firstly, We are not talking about managers who would do such stupid things. I wouldn’t and I’m sure neither would any of the posters who claim they are unable to deal without HR support/ handover.

I presume you know even if that email was sent it would not evidence of constructive dismissal or useful in any claim. So that’s a moot point.

if legal don’t need to be informed then what are you expecting their involvement to be? The last point is contrary, although it would be interesting to test it out with your own in house legal department and see what their response is. Somehow I suspect it won’t be added to the risk register

And maybe her manager knows this, having spoken to the relevant parties and taken advice on whether or not to respond.

That claim wouldn’t go anywhere though would it?

Fuck em

Onwards and upwards girl, best of luck with the new job x

I mean, you do you, but I've worked for some TERRIBLE managers and the good ones always take advice from the relevant teams before they respond to anything.

It's not that they require informing of what the employee has done. It's that they're there to support the manager with how to handle scenarios. You don't seem to fully understand the point of any in house team though.

So what happened OP

You think the point of your in house legal team is to support managers in responding to an employee who left 2 days before her notice was up and sent an email to explain?!

you think they would support you with that? Your in house legal team? I am struggling to believe that tbh

You can struggle to believe what you like, but we have dedicated legal resource who supports managers in employee matters such as this.

Like I said, well respected, well known company. We have a reputation for being excellent to work for. We have very few problems with employees. Do you think that happens by accident?