Page 5 | DH wants to miss SIL’s anniversary lunch for Arsenal parade?

Sobriety78 · 20/05/2026 17:32

I'm from a football loving family and we very often plan events around fixtures, so i may be biased in favour of your DH, but I'd say as long as he tells his sister he wont be at the anniversary meal and shes not losing a deposit on his place he should go to the parade.

Casperking · 20/05/2026 17:33

People can celebrate whatever they want if they have the money to host parties, meals etc
I have never heard of anyone inviting people to celebrate a 10th anniversary. I think your DH should be allowed to skip the party.

I have my pearl soon and am going for a romantic weekend away with my DH. I feel like anniversaries are for the couple. Although if we make it to Golden I might have a party.

ClayPotaLot · 20/05/2026 17:35

I find football obsession to be pretty unattractive, but I can see why a fan (in some ways especially one who watches on TV rather seeing them live) would want to go to the parade.

I'm really not that bothered about celebrating other people's wedding anniversaries. And a sit down lunch in a restaurant is one of the dullest and lowest effort for the host ways to celebrate (are you expected to pay for yourselves too?) I would probably blow that off for any number of things except that it's a great excuse for a family gathering and I tend to think those are worth going out of your way for. If you're a close family who get together all the time then it probably won't matter much if he goes to the parade, if this is a few times a year thing, it's probably a big deal and more than just his sister might be miffed if he didn't turn up.

If this were my brother I'd be pissed off because of this aspect - the ducking out of family gatherings (which he tends to push for) that we'd put some effort into arranging. My personal relationship with him wouldn't be damaged unless he was always doing it.

But it's still a bit rude to bow out of an invitation you've already accepted, and if SiL is paying she may already be committed to covering DH's costs, which is really unreasonable.

BlueMum16 · 20/05/2026 17:35

His sister.

His choice.

I'd be at the parade as would DH in this situation.

ThreadGuardDog · 20/05/2026 17:37

Step back and let him explain it to his sister.

phoenixrosehere · 20/05/2026 17:38

To me, it’s between him and his sister.

He needs to tell his sister he has chosen to go to the Arsenal parade instead.

Inevergotthatfar · 20/05/2026 17:38

I don't think either of them are worth going to. Not helpful I know

TheignT · 20/05/2026 17:39

Sartre · 20/05/2026 16:10

Celebrating someone else’s anniversary is weird, surely that’s between the couple?!

Anyway, let him go to the parade, it’s the first time they’ve won in 22 years and might be another 22 before they do again!

We don't even celebrate our own.

TheignT · 20/05/2026 17:42

Thegoldenoriole · 20/05/2026 16:28

Thanks all. He absolutely would handle the conversation himself - I’m just curious what other people would think so can judge approach.

So interested in people’s attitude to the anniversary party - is this because it’s only a tenth? I feel like 25th, 40th and 50th are often a party! We’ve actually been invited to a couple of 10ths and I know of others who are doing or have done similar family lunches. I wonder why… maybe we’re all more sceptical of people’s ability to get to the silver anniversary!

My grandparents did a massive party for their 10th involving hiring a boat - but they only got married in their 50s so although they did make it to 25, perhaps good cause to celebrate sooner 😅

I can't remember what we did for our 40th. Maybe we went out for a meal.

ginasevern · 20/05/2026 17:43

Who the fuck has a 10th anniversary lunch. I mean, go out for a slap up meal as a couple but gathering the family around, seriously? I assume it's all being done for social media? Personally I don't blame your DH one little bit.

UnPetitDunPetit · 20/05/2026 17:43

ClayPotaLot · 20/05/2026 17:35

I find football obsession to be pretty unattractive, but I can see why a fan (in some ways especially one who watches on TV rather seeing them live) would want to go to the parade.

I'm really not that bothered about celebrating other people's wedding anniversaries. And a sit down lunch in a restaurant is one of the dullest and lowest effort for the host ways to celebrate (are you expected to pay for yourselves too?) I would probably blow that off for any number of things except that it's a great excuse for a family gathering and I tend to think those are worth going out of your way for. If you're a close family who get together all the time then it probably won't matter much if he goes to the parade, if this is a few times a year thing, it's probably a big deal and more than just his sister might be miffed if he didn't turn up.

If this were my brother I'd be pissed off because of this aspect - the ducking out of family gatherings (which he tends to push for) that we'd put some effort into arranging. My personal relationship with him wouldn't be damaged unless he was always doing it.

But it's still a bit rude to bow out of an invitation you've already accepted, and if SiL is paying she may already be committed to covering DH's costs, which is really unreasonable.

I would probably blow that off for any number of things except that it's a great excuse for a family gathering and I tend to think those are worth going out of your way for. If you're a close family who get together all the time then it probably won't matter much if he goes to the parade, if this is a few times a year thing, it's probably a big deal and more than just his sister might be miffed if he didn't turn up.

Exactly - it's not actually about the anniversary if the anniversary is just an excuse to having a nice family get-together if everyone lives far apart. If they all live round the corner and see each other all the time then that rather changes things.

Either way it's for the DH to discuss with his sister, rather than something for the OP to worry about.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 20/05/2026 17:44

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 20/05/2026 16:08

I’ve never understood celebrating other peoples wedding anniversary. Yay, well done. You are still married to the person you chose. Odd lol.

This

nixon1976 · 20/05/2026 17:48

Yeah, I don't think wedding anniversary parties are a thing. I've certainly never heard of one, except for a much older couple celebrating their diamond, which is an impressive feat!

Bit naff (sorry!) having a 10th party...

Fasthearty · 20/05/2026 17:52

10 years isn’t even an important anniversary. God he should definitely go to the parade

SunnySideChaos · 20/05/2026 17:53

A 10th wedding anniversary lunch? I thought you meant the anniversary of her death at first before you mentioned she might be annoyed!

I think having an anniversary lunch where you expect other people to attend is weird, surely she just celebrates with her husband or her husband and kids? It's our 10th wedding anniversary this year, I am yet to have a lunch where I invite my siblings to celebrate still being married, I'm not sure this is a thing, unless you make it to 25/40/50/60 years?! He should go to the parade, hopefully the sister will still be married next year... and the year after... plenty more years for anniversary lunches, maybe not for arsenal victory parades!

IAmKerplunk · 20/05/2026 17:56

I would be absolutely fine with my bil missing a dinner for the parade.

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 17:57

Thegoldenoriole · 20/05/2026 16:05

As you may or may not know (or care), Arsenal won the Premier League yesterday. DH wants to go to the parade in a couple of weeks. However, we have his sister’s 10th anniversary lunch booked in already, and it would be impossible to attend both.

I think it’s probably reasonable to go to the parade, given it could be literally the only opportunity. Or it could happen again next year! But I’m concerned DSIL won’t feel the same way… DH is a fan, but not to a major degree - he only started following them at uni influenced by his flatmate and I think he’s been to two live arsenal games in his life! The rest of the family aren’t football people at all. I only care insofar as it affects DH.

Thoughts? I would still go to SIL’s lunch and take the kids - they are small and after what happened at Liverpool last year I wouldn’t want them going without me.

He's not a supporter, then. He only got in to them at Uni, and he's only been to two games, so it's not in the blood. I wouldn't go to this Anniversary Lunch or Dinner, either, though.

CoyGoldenKoi · 20/05/2026 17:57

Surprised how many people are saying go to the parade.

I agree that an anniversary dinner isn't really a thing, but I was always taught that it's incredibly rude to accept invitations and then cancel for a better offer that came later.

He's not such a big fan that missing it would make that much difference, so he ought to honour his prior commitments, and support his sister, since he'd already agreed to.

SliceofTosst · 20/05/2026 17:57

Team DH.

Definitely the Parade. It's been 22 years.

She had her big day when she married. Also who celebrates anniversaries with people other than their DP? Very weird.

Passingthrough123 · 20/05/2026 17:58

Nah, let him go. It's a 10th anniversary – does anyone normally celebrate that apart from the couple?

But it's 22 years of waiting for this if you're an Arsenal fan. It's a far bigger deal and you should not stand in his way of going.

latetothefisting · 20/05/2026 17:59

I'm surprised at so many people judging the anniversary event. I don't care at all about my own anniversary, let alone other people's, but it doesn't really matter what the event is - it's rude to sack off an initial engagement for a better one. If he was a lifetime hardcore fan I'd understand, but if he can't even be bothered to go to games it's a bit ridiculous to only jump on the bandwagon for a piss up. Sounds like a fair weather fan!

Passingthrough123 · 20/05/2026 17:59

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 17:57

He's not a supporter, then. He only got in to them at Uni, and he's only been to two games, so it's not in the blood. I wouldn't go to this Anniversary Lunch or Dinner, either, though.

Edited

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Of course you can be a supporter and it still be in the blood even if you don't go to many games! Silly comment.

gillefc82 · 20/05/2026 17:59

As an avid Evertonian who hasn’t been able to celebrate winning any silverware for over 30 years, I’d miss my own wedding for the parade to celebrate, never mind a lunch for someone else’s 10 year anniversary.

Parade all the way.

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 17:59

Passingthrough123 · 20/05/2026 17:58

Nah, let him go. It's a 10th anniversary – does anyone normally celebrate that apart from the couple?

But it's 22 years of waiting for this if you're an Arsenal fan. It's a far bigger deal and you should not stand in his way of going.

He's hardly a Gooner, ffs. He's watched them twice, ffs...😆

Bettermuseli · 20/05/2026 18:00

Nothing to do with you OP whether he goes or not. Take the children and enjoy.