DH wants to miss SIL’s anniversary lunch for Arsenal parade?

[Thegoldenoriole]

As you may or may not know (or care), Arsenal won the Premier League yesterday. DH wants to go to the parade in a couple of weeks. However, we have his sister’s 10th anniversary lunch booked in already, and it would be impossible to attend both.

I think it’s probably reasonable to go to the parade, given it could be literally the only opportunity. Or it could happen again next year! But I’m concerned DSIL won’t feel the same way… DH is a fan, but not to a major degree - he only started following them at uni influenced by his flatmate and I think he’s been to two live arsenal games in his life! The rest of the family aren’t football people at all. I only care insofar as it affects DH.

Thoughts? I would still go to SIL’s lunch and take the kids - they are small and after what happened at Liverpool last year I wouldn’t want them going without me.

He should go to the parade. Let him deal with any fall out from his sister. No need to get involved.

@LoserWinner unless you have a season ticket it’s incredibly hard to go to Arsenal games. Tickets are awarded by ballot- we’re in the ballot most weeks and have got tickets once in two years. we’ve been on the season ticket waiting list for a decade and there are still 30,000 people ahead of us 😂

ETA you need a paid membership even to enter the ballot 😭

No, it really doesn't

Sometimes life throws up things that make you re evaluate your choices. For her DH this is one of them

Hmmm, are gifts expected for this anniversary? 😊

I'm missing my son's birthday lunch to go to the parade. He gets it and is fine with it. Football people know.

I'm completely bamboozled at the idea of a 10th anniversary event. People already spend far too much time and effort on other people's marriages between the hen/stag dos and weddings. He should definitely go to the parade.

I agree with the majority - I don’t think 10th anniversary is a group event/ party worth it. 50th- sure. But anything earlier - is for the couple.

Anniversary lunch seems a bit OTT. I would attend the parade with DH and the kids.

I think a family meal for a tenth wedding anniversary is more self indulgent than attending the parade. Course he should go, it’ll be awesome. Really atmospheric! I bet the lunch won’t.

I’d miss it for that to be honest! GOONERS 🎉🎉

There's no mention of your brother in law in this. Surely its a celebration of your in laws marriage anniversary, their day as a couple, Is it important to other family members.? Its their day and nobody else's their marriage. Sorry, not getting this or why you involve yourself. If its important to have this get together do it on another day. The parade date cant be changed. Its no big deal. Just politely say that to your sister in law. Its hef day either her husband nort yours!!

I've been a fan for over 40 years. I can't afford a season ticket, but I am a member. I've entered every ballot for my membership level this season and haven't been able to get a ticket. So, err, no.

I can't imagine making a big deal of a 10th anniversary beyond my DH and I congratulating each other. 25th maybe would be send a card and small gift if it's close family, but in my mind you need to get to around 40th to make a big deal and party of it. It feels like some want to drag everyone into every little celebration and achievement these days (for the 'gram?), I don't know how people have the time or money!

He should go to what he wants to go to. He's not a child . It's his decision.

DH’s problem.

We/he/OP might have opinions about the occasion for the invitation but presumably DH accepted the invitation.

Rude to his sibling for him to flake out for what he sees as a better option. He can explain to her and BIL.

Also rude to you if he expects you and the DC to attend without him and gloss over any of his family members’ comments or irritation. Unless perhaps the invitation is to their home round the corner and you’re personally super close with SIL and her partner.

I would be going to the parade as I am sure he shall be

I understand a 50th wedding anniversary being celebrated but 10 years is just self indulgent

It doesn't really matter what it is: I think it's shitty to flake on an arrangement you have already made unless it's for a health or similar reason.

If you've already accepted the invitation to the lunch it would be rude to back out over football. People who do this really irritate me. I wouldn't fall out with your DH if I was SIL but I would be

I didn’t know that wedding anniversaries were a celebration except for the couple for whom it’s a nice excuse to drop the children at grandma and grandpa’s and go out for an excellent supper. Is this in a specific ethnic culture or religion?

Many many fans cant attend physical games. Tickets are so hard to get hold of and expensive.
Does it count if they watch all games on tv? Or only if they attend 1 in person??and a glory hunter doesn't mean someone who doesn't go to actual games. It means someone who only starts supporting a team once they start doing well. (Classic example of man untd fans in the late 90s/00s who now don't support them )

He should definitely go to the parade. I've never heard of a family 10th anniversary celebration anyway, only Silver, Ruby and Golden merit that IMO.

I think it is up to him to tell his Sister i wouldn't concern myself with it, fwiw I think it is rude and selfish to cancel an invitation because something better came along.

Yes, illnesses, bereavements etc. Not a football team winning a match. Would people really let their family down over that?

It seems so.

It's not a wedding. It is someone else's anniversary lunch. First time I've ever heard of celebrating someone else's anniversary. Didn't know it was a thing. Unless they've been together for a zillion years.

To me it’s such a weird thing to have an anniversary lunch for someone else. He goes to the parade it’s his decision to cancel. I don’t even get a text from my siblings on my anniversary!