DH wants to miss SIL’s anniversary lunch for Arsenal parade?

[Thegoldenoriole]

As you may or may not know (or care), Arsenal won the Premier League yesterday. DH wants to go to the parade in a couple of weeks. However, we have his sister’s 10th anniversary lunch booked in already, and it would be impossible to attend both.

I think it’s probably reasonable to go to the parade, given it could be literally the only opportunity. Or it could happen again next year! But I’m concerned DSIL won’t feel the same way… DH is a fan, but not to a major degree - he only started following them at uni influenced by his flatmate and I think he’s been to two live arsenal games in his life! The rest of the family aren’t football people at all. I only care insofar as it affects DH.

Thoughts? I would still go to SIL’s lunch and take the kids - they are small and after what happened at Liverpool last year I wouldn’t want them going without me.

Thanks all. He absolutely would handle the conversation himself - I’m just curious what other people would think so can judge approach.

So interested in people’s attitude to the anniversary party - is this because it’s only a tenth? I feel like 25th, 40th and 50th are often a party! We’ve actually been invited to a couple of 10ths and I know of others who are doing or have done similar family lunches. I wonder why… maybe we’re all more sceptical of people’s ability to get to the silver anniversary!

My grandparents did a massive party for their 10th involving hiring a boat - but they only got married in their 50s so although they did make it to 25, perhaps good cause to celebrate sooner 😅

He is being unreasonable to fob off a family social event that is already planned and he agreed to attend (whatever the event is, it's irrelevant. And even if other people find it odd. Many families have a get together for round number wedding anniversary).

I am always completely bemused by people who prioritise a sporting event that they aren't even involved in (as in they aren't competing or playing) over their family.

I'd go to the parade if i was him tbh. But he can explain

Her anniversary, as in wedding anniversary? Surely she should be celebrating it with her husband as it's their thing. Since when did it become a group event.

Sorry but if DH wants to go to the football thing he's not being unreasonable unless it's all been booked and deposits paid.

I don't even celebrate my own wedding anniversary never mind anyone elses 😂

I’m another one who doesn’t understand why you would celebrate someone else’s wedding anniversary. Why would anyone care??

The only anniversary I’ve ever celebrated (other than my own) was DH’s grandparent’s 50th. But that was more just a reason to get the entire extended family together and celebrate the legacy they had built.

Sorry, I disagree with many here. He isn’t much of a fan if he doesn’t go to games. Big clubs like Arsenal and Man U have loads of people who claim to be fans, but don’t actually go to matches - that’s not being a fan, it’s being a glory-hunter. In any case, he committed to his sister’s do, whatever the occasion, so he should honour that.

Cringe cringe, having a special lunch to celebrate a wedding anniversary. I wouldn't go out of principle if it was my sister, but she wouldn't have any such a cringe event in the first place anyway!

Awful idea. He should go to the ball parade...

I’m no football fan but even I know how big this is for arsenal! You can have a meal with SIL anytime

It's a big deal for Arsenal fans. I get why he wants to go. I'd look for a compromise if possible though.
My DS had a big sporting event (playing rather than watching) that clashed with his grandparents 60th wedding anniversary do which was an extended family weekend away. We compromised on staying til Sat evening, then I drove DS hundreds of miles through the night and DH and our other DC stayed. It was a bit of a PITA but it did keep everyone happy. Any room for manoevre in your situation?

He should go to the parade! No disrespect AT ALL to Arsenal but it probably is a once in a lifetime thing. I still remember my team’s local parade - it was 30+ years ago, and an amazing event.

An anniversary dinner, meh. Not really interesting to anyone but the couple is it?

Also, if he’s not going to the meal I wouldn’t feel obliged to take the DCs, unless you actually want to go. Either way just let them know (or get him to let them know, whichever way you two do this sort of thing)

@PurpleCoo

But it’s their wedding anniversary? Like, seriously who cares. You could rearrange the meal. It wasn’t a given that his team were going to win the league. It’s a massive thing, irrespective of your opinions and views on sport. It’s much more fun to attend a parade which can be a once in a lifetime experience over your siblings 10 year anniversary meal…. Good grief. Very, very precious.

Well, we celebrated my great aunt and uncle’s 70th wedding anniversary a few years ago. It clashed with an England match in the Euros, so they did the decent thing and had the match on live at the venue, so everyone could get there early, watch it and then get on with the celebrations.

It’s his sister, it’s only a tenth wedding anniversary, but it’s only Arsenal. His decision.

is his sister paying?

Arsenal has worked long and hard for that cup. Off to the parade he goes.

Never had an anniversary lunch. Certainly wouldn’t rope in other people to celebrate something that’s none of their business. Rather be at the victory parade.

And why is it your problem? Let him explain to his sister and do what he wants, you've already said you're going so that's fine.

Is sil a diva? I certainly don't expect anyone to share in my anniversary apart from dh!! Even my dc barely mention it.

Agreed.

And I also think it's weird that other people go to an anniversary celebration - you stayed married for 10 years - great.

I’ve never heard of anyone celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. We didn’t even celebrate our 25th with anyone other than myself and DH. I’d just let him explain to his sister and leave it at that.

Parade.

10th anniversary celebrations are for the Mr and Mrs imo.

My husband and son are Arsenal fans, I know what they would be doing and it wouldn’t be the lunch!

My ex would miss his own child’s wedding no doubt for Arsenal (he already missed his brothers ceremony for first game of the season). I’d say the parade is more important to him after 22yrs, he’s only going to be miserable if you make him do the lunch.

I thought you meant 10th anniversary of a death at first which would be equally as weird to have a family lunch over.

I wouldn’t get involved in this, it’s between him and his sister. What is she like, how will she react?

The anniversary lunch is unusual but maybe they’re a close family and like an excuse to get together.

Even i registered the Arsenal win because my boys are fans. I would let him ditch the anniversary if he wants, he can talk to his sister.
Only if you are happy to manage the children on your own.

10th anniversary party? Never heard of it....thank god.