DH wants to miss SIL’s anniversary lunch for Arsenal parade?

[Thegoldenoriole]

As you may or may not know (or care), Arsenal won the Premier League yesterday. DH wants to go to the parade in a couple of weeks. However, we have his sister’s 10th anniversary lunch booked in already, and it would be impossible to attend both.

I think it’s probably reasonable to go to the parade, given it could be literally the only opportunity. Or it could happen again next year! But I’m concerned DSIL won’t feel the same way… DH is a fan, but not to a major degree - he only started following them at uni influenced by his flatmate and I think he’s been to two live arsenal games in his life! The rest of the family aren’t football people at all. I only care insofar as it affects DH.

Thoughts? I would still go to SIL’s lunch and take the kids - they are small and after what happened at Liverpool last year I wouldn’t want them going without me.

I hate football. I am a man. I can assure you your husband gives zero shits about the lunch and everything about having some beers with friends and celebrating, let him go.

Never heard of a tenth anniversary lunch. I’d be asking my sister if she was being serious if she arranging one of those. And yes people celebrate 25th onwards because that shows real longevity. 10 years isn’t longevity unless it’s been an ardous and unhappy ten years.

I think it's appallingly rude to cancel an arrangement you've made just because something better has come along.

If I was your SIL, I'd be pretty annoyed.

If he’s accepted the invitation then he should go

Might possibly be different if he were a season ticket holder and dedicated fan

I would give zero shits about a ten year anniversary lunch as well, unless there was something poignantly significant about it (like a terminal illness or something). Otherwise it would go in the bin alongside gender reveal parties. (I’m not a man and hate football).

So because you're a man, you speak for all men? You can "assure" the OP? OK then...

You know, I get where you're coming from. And usually, yes, it would be a sweeping statement that could be shown to be wrong.

But this time, no.

I hate football and I'd STILL take the beer and friends and football thing over celebrating someone else's anniversary, what an insane thing to do any day, I'd probably rather stay in bed - and so would every single man in the country.

What anyone here thinks about anniversary parties is irrelevant. The point is that its presumably important to your iLs and he had already booked in for the family celebration but now wants to ditch it for a better offer.

Let him sort it out himself and don’t take any responsibility for his letting them down.

The evidence is quite clear the parade is a more appealing option to him than a ten year anniversary lunch that’s not his ten year anniversary.

100% parade.

OP if there is a terminal illness you are hiding from us we will change our minds, otherwise - let the man have some fun.

He could always promise to go their vow renewal the following year.

This is rubbish 😂 I'm a lifelong gooner and I rarely go to games - it's expensive and involves a lot of travel, not easy when you've got a young family! Doesn't make me any less of a fan though!

And unless you’re desperate to go, don’t either. Let him handle it all - ‘sorry, the family can’t make it. Arsenal won the footie’. Make sure he has your reason covered.

Yes that’s nonsense. I’m a big BTS fan, never gone to their concerts or bought their records but I love them.

If I was the sister, I'd tell him to go to the parade, as there might not be another chance.

I think it's weird to celebrate anniversaries with other people, though. Perhaps if you get to a golden it might be a nice family celebration, but ten? Big whoop.

I agree that the fact it's a 10th anniversary lunch is a red herring. The point is, it's a family event he has been invited to and (presumably) accepted the invitation. IMO it would be rude to go to the parade instead - but his sister may not mind.

I also think going to a parade to celebrate a football team you're not even part of winning something is cringey as fuck, but that's just me.

Was he supposed to score a goal?

I agree that an anniversary lunch is odd, but perhaps it was just an excuse to get the family together?

In any case, you’ve accepted an invitation, and it’s very bad form to renege on an accepted invitation just because something else you prefer comes up.

I think the anniversary is a bit of a red herring. I certainly wouldn’t have needed people to celebrate any anniversary’s.

However, you accepted the invite to an event and therefore it would rude not to go. I’m sure men will kick balls for the rest of time and he can have a can to go again.

I don't think I've ever celebrated someone else's anniversary, unless it was a big one like a Golden one, however that is beside the point.

You have arranged to have a lunch with his sister and it's booked. It is incredibly rude to 'get a better offer' whatever that may be. If he's only been to two games in his life then he's hardly a huge supporter of Arsenal.

And I say this as someone who DOES come from a massive footballing family. They would not be pleased about this, even as season ticket holders.

Wasn't it brilliant?! 🩵

Another one. Gone are the days when you can just rock up on match day, get a tenner out at the turnstiles, and enjoy the match. I'm surprised your massive footballing family hasn't told you that.

I wouldn't be attending someone else wedding anniversary dinner full stop.
10 years isn't a big thing anyway, still each to their own.

I'm not even a Gooner, but I remember the last parade, 25 years ago (I was resident in the Islington area). It was a huge amount of fun and a real cultural experience. Plus, I ended upstanding next to Tony Hadley! Sorry, but I wouldn't miss this year's parade if I was an Arsenal fan, not for someone else's wedding anniversary lunch (do people do that?).