Age

[Ninapertree]

Do any other women feel like this. Im 42. I feel young. I am enjoying life. I go travelling, go to festivals. I know im not super young. But im not one foot in the grave. Im enjoying life.

However, men constantly try to make me feel old.

I went to a new group the other day. Age came up for some reason or another. I said my age. The men there looked at me like I was absolutely ancient. They looked at me like "how are you not in the grave" kind of way.

If i go to groups where there are people that i dont know well. If i say im in my 40s, the men look at me like i should be taken out back and shot!

Im single. I did online dating for a bit last year at 41. The men, even the ones the same age as me, would write things like "i cant believe you are 41". " you cant be 41".

I just feel like the way men seem to feel about women in their 40s is not how i feel abut myself at all! Its kind of sad

How old were these men? 19

30s and 40s

Are they trying to give you a compliment, i.e. that you look younger than that?

No. When I was at the group, they glared at me and stopped talking to me, when I said I was in my forties.

Men in their 30s and 40s did this, how incredibly odd. I’m mid fifties and never seen such a thing,

Never? Have you done online dating?

I always think that you perceive your "peers" to be 15 years younger or 5 years older....

So anyone 5 years younger than you will think you are an ANCIENT CRONE.

I'm 55 and I have to say, one great thing about being this age is that I don't really give a crap what others think, especially men! You're young, you're enjoying life, that's what's important!

I hate when they say things to me on online dating like 'you can't possibly be 41'.

Its such a backhanded compliment. They are saying that it is awful to be 41, and surprisingly that I look quite good for 41

Men often see women as a commodity. You are for men past the super hot stage but not at the oh my lovely Granny bakes great cakes and insists on giving me money. They don’t know what to do with you.

All you need to know in life are all men are wankers some are just less wankery than others.

Many studies have been done on what men find attractive age wise and it remains the twenties evenwhen they are easily old enough to be the woman’s Father. Best thing is to never give a fuck about what they think of you. Many women don’t find this out till they are post menopause. Very fortunately I have always felt like this. Seeing the shit my much older sisters went through made me this way. Two returned home when getting divorced by the time I was 15.

Good grief.

Yes! They treat me like i should be in a nursing home.

But i still want to have fun, travel, go on cruises, enjoy myself.

Actually i remember when i was 28- 30 , men trying to make me feel old then too.

I remember i was travelling at 30. I was in a meetup group. An english man said about me "this is sally. She is 30 so she is not so young" (!).

What a rude way to introduce me to people.

An older man that was there said to him "30 is young".

You talk a lot about them looking at you a certain way but few actual comments

I’m the same age as you and never had this!

I have written the comments i got on online dating.

I have just written a comment in a post above yours, that i experienced in real life.
That was when I was 30.

That is one of many comments! Id be here all day writing them all out.

You are lucky! I recently saw a female comedian online talk about awful comments that she has received from men, about her being in her forties.

Don’t tell them

I do try and lie now when I go to groups. I kind of mumble that im in my 30s.
I Shouldnt really have to. I would like to say my real decade

What kind of a group glares at someone and stops talking to them when they disclose the decade of their age?! I'd just not go there again.

And why even bring up age? I've never asked anyone their age I don't think as an adult. I don't really need to know.

I don't see why anyone from OLD would be surprised either as you would clearly state your age on your profile.

Channel Joan Collins. Purr ‘old enough to know better’. And fuck ‘em if they can’t handle it. Babies.

Ive had comments like that at lots of different groups. Age often comes up, as several groups are age segregated for a start. If you look at meetup com they have groups for 30-40 year olds.

I now feel i have to lie and say im in my thirties. As i get an awful reaction if i say im In my 40s.

I also remember being called old by some men in groups, back when i WAS in my 30s!

It's just evolutionary biology, men are biologically programmed to spread their seed in fertile ground i.e. young enough women. It's only intelligence and thinking and questioning that helps them transcend this so any man who behaves like this hasn't considered his programming and can safely be ignored because he's kinda stupid.

Yes, oddest thing ever.

I just don't understand where you're going to find all these people that despise the over 40s?!

I guess I don't go out much but I've got friends who I know are younger and older but I couldn't really care less as long as they're nice people and we have things in common.

I'm sorry you've experienced this ageism. At such a young age!

what exactly is this look where they think you should no longer exist? I find it hard to imagine every man you meet giving you filthy looks as soon as they know you're 41. are you sure they're not just surprised cos you look younger. I often get told I don't look 44. I mean, i probably look mid 30s at best, it's not like I think I look 21 but I think our perspective of what 40s looks like from our own childhoods is wild. just look at Stiflers Mom. 38.