AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Then they don't have a discount for that restaurant so it's completely irrelevant

It’s like giving someone your present. Bizarre.

OP I’m struggling to understand why you were so “mortified”. A gift (cash) card is simply an alternative way to pay for something, no different from cash. Why shouldn’t your friend have used it? Would you feel the same if she had paid with cash that had been gifted to her?

I received a gift card for a certain restaurant as a Christmas present from my brother. Separately, a friend invited me along to the restaurant last week as part of a group to celebrate her birthday. Together with the other guests I agreed we'd split the bill* and cover the birthday girl's share. I didn't mention the gift card until I came to pay my share of the bill, when I used it in part payment towards my amount.

It didn't occur to me that I should share the voucher with the others. It was my Christmas present, and not theirs. On the other hand, I'd been invited to the restaurant. The OP's friends decided to go there, quite possibly because they knew they had a voucher. They then invited friends to keep them company, and let them pay their full share while using their gift card for themselves alone. That feels different somehow.

The exact wording of the invitation may be a factor. Did they really invite you out to dinner as such, in a way that made it sound like they were hosting you, or was it more just a case of "We're thinking of going out to this restaurant at some point. I don't suppose anyone else fancies it too? We could all go together."

*Don't worry - we'd all spent similar amounts. Three courses, wine, cocktails etc.

Yes so the difference here is said couple invited this couple and no one was open about having a voucher

We used to dine out with a couple who ordered the most expensive dishes, expensive wines and drank like fish then expected the bill to be halved.

If I had a voucher with me and I was out with them i wouldn't be taking it off the total first.

I have the done the same exact thing when out for dinner with a group of friends with no qualms from anyone

It’s not what I would do, but if there’s a hypothetical situation where someone was given a £100 voucher for their birthday, that’s not really different to them being given £100 cash, and you wouldn’t expect them to share that, or tell you in advance that they have £100 as a gift to put towards their meal.

This, you were happy enough to go to the restaurant anyway, what does it matter if they had a voucher or not?

Why would they need to be open about how they are paying their part of the bill though? I’ve never once gone out with friends and clarified I’m paying cash, or with my Amex so I get points, or using a cash gift voucher etc. which of those is deemed acceptable and why?

£5 of the £150 when @SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease was chauffeuring and paying for the fuel. So generous 😂

But the voucher IS their payment?

I don't get the issue and would 100% do the same if I had a voucher 🤣.

OPs friend didn’t have a discount either, they had a cash voucher.

But in that case the obvious solution is each pays their own, which is not a problem.

Like I said for me the awkwardness came from having the bill halved and then using their discount or whatever just on their half. If it was a each pays their own I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

I can’t believe people would agree to go to for a meal out with friends but would then decline purely based on the other couple paying their split with a gift card rather than a credit card.

I'm with you, OP, except my embarrassment for them would stem from them needing company to enjoy their voucher-subsidized meal. Why else would they have invited you along? It was just to sit and chat while they enjoyed their dinner. That's what acquaintances at the pub do. Friends share a bounty. What they did is like inviting someone over to your house, opening a box of fancy chocolates in front of them and not sharing them "because they're mine". It's pitiful, really.

Eh? I don’t even get why you would think this was tight?!? A voucher is a slip of paper that might have cost someone £20 and it’s worth that same £20. Why on earth would they share their £20 with you? I’ll carry on reading in a sec, but is this a reverse?

Yes I don’t understand the viewpoint either.

If I gave a couple a voucher for Christmas and they said they’d give half to their friends I’d think that was very odd. I bought the voucher for them not for their friends.

I’d be embarrassed for the OP for not sharing her part of the bill either if she’s paying cash from her wages. Friends share a bounty.

Yes I had ss and his girlfriend like this

aren’t they the people
who always get shitty when people want to pay for what they had!!

A voucher/gift card is just another form of cash. It does not need to be shared.

my proof: when my child gets vouchers to big retailers as birthday or Christmas gifts, I often just trade them from her for cash. It makes no difference to me as I shop those stores regularly and it is easier for her to not be restricted in where she spends the present. I then exchange the vouchers for boring things like soap and bread.

what is there to be "opened" about?

you know you each pay your share, must you really see a tax return to check if you agree with their finance?

Yes, that's the fundamental difference in viewpoint. I see them as the same and would share them the same.

I'm not going to change my mind on that and suddenly become OK about not sharing it if I have a voucher and have invited people to sharea meal. But I'm still happy to accept others see them as different things and wouldn't expect to share

Exactly! I very much ‘paid my own way’ and she very much invited me to share the voucher as it would ‘treat us to afternoon tea’.

wouldn't that literally be splitting the bill? Like friends do? Sharing their wages to subsidize someone's more expensive starter and extra glass of wine? Sharing a bounty?