AIBU to expect parents to tidy up in cafés?

[wrinklycactus]

Since having a baby I've had a different perspective on lots of things.. including the mess left by some parents in cafes/ restaurants with babies and toddlers in high chairs.

I was in M&S cafe yesterday looking for somewhere to sit with my toddler, and the only free table looked like an absolute bomb site - crumbs and spillages everywhere, high chair a total mess - they'd just left it for the poor staff to clean up.

I appreciate I only have one kid to think about, but I always clean up after feeding him in a cafe if we've made a massive mess (and we are BLW so we definitely do make a mess!)

Obviously I don't worry about every crumb but I couldn't live with leaving a table in the state that I saw yesterday.

I know there are circumstances where you have to leave in a rush and kids are having meltdowns etc, I'm not talking about that - just talking about generally leaving your bomb site for the staff to clean up or the next person to inherit!

AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate?

Yeah this is the thing that shocked me, she said it was relatively frequent. My jaw hit the floor but I’m also not surprised. It’s just so insulting to the rest of the world to be so rude/dirty/cruel!

I've said it's fine to leave crumbs and spillages, just as the OP described.

OP said: 'the only free table looked like an absolute bomb site - crumbs and spillages everywhere, high chair a total mess'.

If you really think this level of crumbs and spillages is OK, then I give up. If you in all conscience would leave this much of a mess, crack on - but don't expect more considerate people to agree with you that it's fine and dandy just because you're paying for a service.

Yeah, I quoted most of that myself up thread a bit. Keep up.

Anyway, "absolute bomb site" is meaningless hyperbole (crumbs and spillages don't match that exaggeration) and so the high chair was mucky - meh.

As I've said, I wouldn't leave a mess, but I wouldn't crumb-shame some harassed mum who had.

Whatever you say. If you don't leave a mess I can't see any reason for your defensiveness on this thread, personally. Nor for the linguistic pedantry.

It's definitely meaningless. Reminds me of a colleague who'd come into the office with a face like thunder telling us that another team had left our kitchen in such a state. I'd go in and there'd be a single mug and teaspoon in the sink. People have massively different ideas of what counts as mess.

You seem quite unimaginative.

Perhaps it's because I am sympathetic to those harassed mums.

Or because I've worked in cafes where I've taken professional pride in keeping things clean.

Or it could be because I am intolerant of the drama queens on here who can't cope with a few crumbs.

There are lots of reasons.

'Unimaginative', because I think people should have some standards and exercise a bit of basic consideration... oh my. That's the best one I've heard this week so far.😂

And as for 'harassed', additional issues like disability/SEN aside (where, yes, most people would give a bit of grace if it was needed, myself included), I think most parents are capable of taking their kids for a bite to eat without making heavy weather of it. As evidenced by the fact that most parents do in fact manage it. It's a bit insulting to mums to suggest they need some sort of special dispensation to make a mess for others to clear up, just because they happen to have children, and most mums ime don't expect that sort of special treatment.

But I think you know you're in the minority here to think this, otherwise you wouldn't be so desperate to spin this narrative that there was only a 'few crumbs' when I think you know perfectly well, as do the majority on this thread, that OP was talking about a lot more mess than this.

Anyway. Bored now. Have a wonderful day.