AIBU to expect parents to tidy up in cafés?

[wrinklycactus]

Since having a baby I've had a different perspective on lots of things.. including the mess left by some parents in cafes/ restaurants with babies and toddlers in high chairs.

I was in M&S cafe yesterday looking for somewhere to sit with my toddler, and the only free table looked like an absolute bomb site - crumbs and spillages everywhere, high chair a total mess - they'd just left it for the poor staff to clean up.

I appreciate I only have one kid to think about, but I always clean up after feeding him in a cafe if we've made a massive mess (and we are BLW so we definitely do make a mess!)

Obviously I don't worry about every crumb but I couldn't live with leaving a table in the state that I saw yesterday.

I know there are circumstances where you have to leave in a rush and kids are having meltdowns etc, I'm not talking about that - just talking about generally leaving your bomb site for the staff to clean up or the next person to inherit!

AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate?

It’s scummy and lazy of parents not to clear up after kids have made a mess.

I agree that it's the staffs' job to clear tables but why not make things a bit easier for them? It's not difficult to scoop crumbs, bits of food off the table and put them on a plate. It's not difficult to not spread all the cutlery around the table rather than putting them on a plate.

Quicker and easier for staff to clear a table where the plates are at least together if not stacked, cutlery on a plate, table not covered in crumbs, bits of food, smear of sauce, drink spills etc. I assume most people would not get up from their table at home and leave it like that so why do it when out?

Parents of babies always leave the house with a bag full of wipes, muslins and nappy bags. They have all the stuff they need in their bag!

Yes, sadly sometimes people just don’t give a sh*t these days.

Modern staffing is an issue. When I was a waitress I would always quickly step in when a family was finished as soon as Mum (and it was always the mother) started clearing up. Eating out should be a break and treat for everyone. Staffing is a lot thinner on the ground these days though.
McDonald's and the like you are expected to clear you rubbish though.
At our local food court the staff do it and they have no rubbish bins anyway but they have plenty of staff that will even clear used plates etc while your eating.
Not sure about M&S as I am not in UK.

Was that the thread where the OP stated off vaguely vulnerable and then started recounting the outrageous comments her husband made about the waitress due to her weight and tearing into posters who pointed out it was unacceptable?

It could also be a completely different one. There are so many fake batshit threads on here these days it's hard to keep up.

I owned a family restaurant in the 90s and used to do the cleaning myself. Never had any problems which makes me think people have just become more feral.
Here shocking tales from motel cleaners and yes, they say the women can be the worst.

That’s the one. She ended up calling everyone on here fat cows or something

YANBU - this drives me mad! Some people leave such a mess it is embarrassing

In my opinion the staff are there to remove the plates and give the table a quick wipe that's all.

Now you're just deflecting. And your defensiveness is coming off, rightly or wrongly, like you're one of the people who leaves a mess for other people to clear up.

So, what would you clear and what would you leave for the staff to do?

It depends on the place. I've been to places where you put everything on a tray and take the tray to a rack. Otherwise I'd put the cutlery and cups on the plates and make a neater pile for the staff to take away. I wouldn't be wiping tables or cleaning the floor any more than I'd be offering to go to the kitchen and help cook the food, it's not for the customer to do those things.

That seems fair enough @WhatNoRaisins but I used to try and pick bits up off the floor if my child had dropped it there, not crumbs but things that could be picked up.

I always make an effort to clean up. However it's very easy with a baby, even more than 1 baby. Where I struggled was when eldest was 3/4 and would run off,, keeping both kids safe while doing more than the bear minimum was sometimes impossible and the kinder thing for staff was to clear out with the kids.

If it was something that might present a trip hazard I'd pick it up but I'm not asking for a dustpan and brush.

It’s about being respectful isn’t it? Most of us reasonably know serving staff are expected to wipe down the table, sweep underneath etc, but would make some attempt to deal with the aftermath of a blw food massacre. Same if you go to the loo in said restaurant to change the baby’s nappy. You know the changing table is wiped down regularly by the staff, but if your baby has a poonami on it you’d clean it up, not think ‘oh someone’s paid to do that’.

I agree with this. Lots of people though don't put cups and/or cutlery on the plates but just leave them scattered over the table - just why I don't understand.

Me and DH went to a cafe recently and a couple with 2 young children were just leaving. Their table looked like a food factory had exploded!

There were crumbs, crusts of bread, bits of food literally all over the table and floor. There was spilled drink on the table. All the cutlery was just scattered over the table. The plates were left just as they were when being used so not even together. There was smears of ketchup on the table. Also crumpled up napkins on the table and floor.

The 2 young guys working there just looked at the table and then each other and rolled their eyes. One muttered "great". We had our dog with us and one of them said "I would rather have 10 dogs in here then people like that.

It took them a fair while to clean it all up and had to get a hoover out for the floor

I own a cafe and I've got to say the vast majority clean up, I don't know if it's area dependant or what but I very rarely see anyone just leaving it all for us to do

Totally agree OP and I had 3 under 4.5. I always wiped down the table and highchair with a wipe and threw rubbish in the bin. This was talked about on threads before and I was told this was an obvious signifier that I'm from a very working class background (I'm not).

So glad to hear this. I went to the cinema recently for the first time in years and couldn't believe the carnage left behind. Not just popcorn everywhere, but all of the rubbish just left on the floor.

See your whole post is the actual problem that society is facing today. " The young families are terrible and dogs are fantastic, narrative. The attack that young families face is alarming. Yes children make mess, and as a business that is profiting from their parents custom, part of that includes tidying up after them. It is very very expensive to eat out even in the most basic of cafés. Restaurants are more focused on pandering to dogs than being child friendly. I find this utterly abhorrent. It is highly unprofessional for anyone working in any cafe/restaurant to comment on another customers mess or conduct, so another customer can overhear. Which is another problem society faces. A lack of good customer service. Well trained and well mannered staff.
I ran a business that catered for mostly young families. Those children did make a mess, and I cleaned it up without fuss or comment, I would have been highly embarrassed if I thought any of my customers had to help clean up, or felt they had to not attend to their very young children in order to clean after I was profiteering from their custom.
Now that I am the one with the young children I would like the same courtesy that I once shown my customers, shown to me. I do not expect to start cleaning in a restaurant or cafe that I have paid good money to be in. If that makes me a bad person so be it!

Unfortunately there's a whole "why should I" culture that has set in across most groups in society now.

It's bloody horrible.

I went to the cinema and a seat in front of me had tape on it to signify it was not to be used.
Half of the sponge of the seating was missing as if someone had been taking chunks out of it. Someone had sat on/next to it, and had picked the seat to bits. Totally baffling as to why anyone would do that, or allow anyone to do that.

Well if young families don't want the label of being ignorant then they only have to make sure they don't do things like make an awful mess and walk away from it.

It was one of the staff who made the comment about preferring dogs to children and I can understand why.

If you were happy to clear up after lazy entitled parents then good for you but no one should have to clear up a disgusting mess. If your business had had decent customers they would have cleaned up after they and/or their children made a mess.

You say you don't expect to start cleaning in a cafe so does that mean if you leave a mess of crumbs, cutlery etc all over the table you just up and leave? If so that is not something to be proud of. I would not say you were a bad person but certainly and entitled slob