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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I tell her about the affair?

128 replies

doitell8 · 19/05/2026 21:06

I’m going to put into a list as it’s going to be a very lengthy post otherwise.

DH and I own a business

Our business works closely with another business providing them with our services, we go to to corporate parties but also more intimate parties such as big wedding anniversary, special birthday etc

Other business run by another couple and their 4 sons work there as directors

One of the son’s has been married 21 years and they have 2 primary and secondary aged children, his wife is lovely and I’ve known her 8 years now, very sweet and mild mannered.

Said son has been sleeping with a girl who works for his parents for 2 years, it is widely known as they’ve been caught at work 3 times.

People who work for his parents won’t say anything due to fear of being sacked.

His parents turn a blind eye to it which makes me sick, if this was my son (god forbid!) I’d be telling him that he tells her or I tell her. They let his wife sit blissfully unaware at dinner parties with other woman and husband, parties, even popping in to the work place where he has had sex with her.

I found out about it 3 months ago via DH, both of us think it’s disgusting anyway but especially as a family business where his Mum & Dad know yet do nothing to step in and protect their daughter in law and grandchildren. I have said that I am not attending any more parties etc and have the gift of using my baby as an out of going but DH goes because it brings business in.

For 3 months this has played on my mind, it’s none of my business but I feel sick for her and I keep toying with the idea of telling her regardless of the damage it does to our business. I also don’t want to be the one to break a family up and break their children’s hearts but I’m screaming out inside that she needs to leave his disgusting self. Then I’m worried she may actually know and then I’m seen as a trouble maker!

WWYD?

YABU - Do not tell
YANBU - Do tell her

Regular user but name changed.

OP posts:
Pyjamatimenow · 22/05/2026 21:38

I wouldn’t tell her. She may well know and want to turn a blind eye.

ImInTheCooler · 23/05/2026 14:22

Pyjamatimenow · 22/05/2026 21:38

I wouldn’t tell her. She may well know and want to turn a blind eye.

Well then it won't matter if she's told then does it? She can choose to continue to turn a blind eye. Which I highly doubt is actually happening.

Gossipisgood · 27/05/2026 13:55

Are you able to have a word with the Son letting him know how you feel about you knowing his sordid secret & suggest he tells her before someone else does as it's common knowledge what's going on & you feel his wife is being made a fool of.

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