Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I tell her about the affair?

103 replies

doitell8 · 19/05/2026 21:06

I’m going to put into a list as it’s going to be a very lengthy post otherwise.

DH and I own a business

Our business works closely with another business providing them with our services, we go to to corporate parties but also more intimate parties such as big wedding anniversary, special birthday etc

Other business run by another couple and their 4 sons work there as directors

One of the son’s has been married 21 years and they have 2 primary and secondary aged children, his wife is lovely and I’ve known her 8 years now, very sweet and mild mannered.

Said son has been sleeping with a girl who works for his parents for 2 years, it is widely known as they’ve been caught at work 3 times.

People who work for his parents won’t say anything due to fear of being sacked.

His parents turn a blind eye to it which makes me sick, if this was my son (god forbid!) I’d be telling him that he tells her or I tell her. They let his wife sit blissfully unaware at dinner parties with other woman and husband, parties, even popping in to the work place where he has had sex with her.

I found out about it 3 months ago via DH, both of us think it’s disgusting anyway but especially as a family business where his Mum & Dad know yet do nothing to step in and protect their daughter in law and grandchildren. I have said that I am not attending any more parties etc and have the gift of using my baby as an out of going but DH goes because it brings business in.

For 3 months this has played on my mind, it’s none of my business but I feel sick for her and I keep toying with the idea of telling her regardless of the damage it does to our business. I also don’t want to be the one to break a family up and break their children’s hearts but I’m screaming out inside that she needs to leave his disgusting self. Then I’m worried she may actually know and then I’m seen as a trouble maker!

WWYD?

YABU - Do not tell
YANBU - Do tell her

Regular user but name changed.

OP posts:
GaleWeathers44 · Today 11:59

Please tell her. Having been in a similar situation myself, I am forever grateful to the person who told me. A lot of people knew and didn’t say a word, which just added to my feeling of betrayal.

Ffffff886 · Today 12:09

Anonymous contact is so creepy and unsettling I wish people would stop suggesting it..so it's fine to take this secret off your chest ans carry on as you are meanwhile like a coward you drop a bombshell on someone and they don't even know who knows, who is watching, who is pitying. You make them paranoid on top of it all, just selfish and thoughtless advice.

pigmygoatsinjumpers · Today 13:37

Do not get involved.

I agree with Bilbobagginsbollox.

Unless you've changed a lot of the details I think you've given enough information in your first post for those involved and the wider family to identify themselves.

How do you know some of them are not on MN?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page