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AIBU?

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10
DrRylandGrace · 24/05/2026 20:58

Apprentice26 · 24/05/2026 20:55

I dont care about your parents 🤷‍♀️

Well that’s not nice either, is it?

Why does everybody have to be so nasty to each other and not have a rational discussion about ways to make things better?

Papyrophile · 24/05/2026 20:59

@DrRylandGrace I have had friends over for lunch this afternoon, so I have been battering the pots and pans instead of following the thread as attentively as it deserves. And this thread is really deserving of close attention. MN is my only social media addiction, and I am only really interested in public policy and fashion. I read your post quickly this evening, and would like to give it more time and thought before replying.

DrRylandGrace · 24/05/2026 21:08

Papyrophile · 24/05/2026 20:59

@DrRylandGrace I have had friends over for lunch this afternoon, so I have been battering the pots and pans instead of following the thread as attentively as it deserves. And this thread is really deserving of close attention. MN is my only social media addiction, and I am only really interested in public policy and fashion. I read your post quickly this evening, and would like to give it more time and thought before replying.

Thank you. I’m grateful if you take the time to read it, very grateful. I really try to put forward solutions but most people don’t want to hear them.

As I said earlier in the thread I am not affiliated with any political ideology or party, I’m a facts and evidence person and desperately want the UK to implement some evidence-based policy based on what we know works because it’s already tried and tested in other countries. It’s insane for us to refuse to do this and continue down our path with models of services and taxation that we know will make us all poorer.

I am so sorry for the tragedies in your family. Mine are suffering similar things so I do empathise. There are ways that we can be fair (in a reasonable sense of the word, which doesn’t mean redistributing everyone’s money to others) and also create a functional society so nobody has to live in poverty and there is some sense of social cohesion again, but this requires big structural changes that I fear nobody will implement until it’s too late.

I must go and be with my children now. I hope you have a nice evening and thank you for the courteous responses: I’m happy to debate any topic with anybody and exchange views and reconsider my position if they have more data or another idea to put forward, but there’s been not much of that on this thread at all, just insults flying around against anybody certain posters don’t agree with yet them adding nothing to the discussion and proposing no solutions themselves.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts when you do have time to consider my post about what I would do if I was the Government, which I was pressed to provide, as I am always looking for new perspectives or flaws in ideas in order to make them better.

Differentforgirls · 24/05/2026 21:24

Badbadbunny · 24/05/2026 19:57

No, but there are ever increasing numbers of people either taking early retirement from occupational pension schemes (or personal pension plans) or simply opting out of work and living on savings (or inheritances or a partner) for the intervening years until state pension age.

By "opting out", they're not paying income tax/NIC on wages, and not contributing to the economy via work productivity etc thus contributing to the stagnant/falling GDP. In the case of certain professions/occupations such as within the NHS there is the knock on effect of causing staff shortages and thus delaying services, i.e. increasing NHS waiting lists etc., which in turn means more people unable to work etc.

I’m retired on a private pension. I pay income tax on it. Same with my husband.

Differentforgirls · 24/05/2026 21:25

AniahJeremiah · 24/05/2026 19:58

Aye, so they are silent generation, not boomers.

I don’t know 🤷‍♀️

Differentforgirls · 24/05/2026 21:28

DrRylandGrace · 24/05/2026 20:23

Silent generation. They had integrity.

Completely different to current retirees of whom the vast majority are Boomers and did not live through the second world war and instead lived through the longest period of prosperity and peace that any generation has experienced to date.

Like me?

Differentforgirls · 24/05/2026 21:29

Papyrophile · 24/05/2026 20:41

That's a bit snide. My grandparents were the silent generation, born in the 1910-20. My in laws were born in 1929 and 1930. My DM was born in 1935. They are all dead now, except my dad who is 92 and does not remember anything about his first family. I'm his oldest child, and he thinks I'm his younger sister. But he also thinks his wife of almost 50 years is his daughter. Dementia is very cruel.

Mine were born in the 40s.

Differentforgirls · 24/05/2026 21:32

Papyrophile · 24/05/2026 20:41

That's a bit snide. My grandparents were the silent generation, born in the 1910-20. My in laws were born in 1929 and 1930. My DM was born in 1935. They are all dead now, except my dad who is 92 and does not remember anything about his first family. I'm his oldest child, and he thinks I'm his younger sister. But he also thinks his wife of almost 50 years is his daughter. Dementia is very cruel.

Meant to add. My Dad died with dementia. It’s awful 😞 x

ruethewhirl · 24/05/2026 23:28

NotTheOrdinary · 19/05/2026 17:21

Some people barely earn enough to pay the bills. How are they meant to save for a pension too?

This! FFS, it should be obvious.

jumpingjohnny · 24/05/2026 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well, they did do that between 1939-1945... They had special Drs in special camps. Generally, they are not praised for their efforts though. I wonder why? 🤔

ruethewhirl · 25/05/2026 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself for saying that. For so many reasons.

BIossomtoes · 25/05/2026 10:31

ruethewhirl · 25/05/2026 10:27

You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself for saying that. For so many reasons.

I’m amazed it hasn’t been reported. Far more innocuous posts on this thread have been.

Papyrophile · 25/05/2026 11:00

DrRylandGrace · 24/05/2026 12:21

My earlier posts on the thread stated precisely this: that the auto-enrolment opt out needs to be removed and pension saving made mandatory because too many people who could afford to save are being irresponsible and not doing so. I also stated that a similar mandatory scheme needs to be put in place for the self-employed unless they can demonstrate sufficient assets to self-fund retirement and a pension is therefore not necessary (13% of the workforce derive their income solely from self-employment and only a tiny percentage of them make any pension savings at all).

It seems some people here zeroed in on specific comments of mine that would disadvantage them without reading the others and then started trying to discredit me because they didn’t like the facts I presented on one particular matter. This happens regularly here and is precisely why the UK economy is such a mess with no sustainable long-term planning based on evidence: people are not prepared to contemplate anything that might disadvantage them personally even when it is necessary.

The state pension needs to be means-tested. For me personally this will mean I don’t get one despite having funded those claiming one currently. It still needs to happen and trying to find spurious reasons to reject this mathematical necessity just because it would disadvantage me would be irrational and ridiculous. We need people to behave like adults and capable of looking at the big picture but many refuse to do so.

Meanwhile, as I also stated we need a credible industrial strategy, huge investment in infrastructure and education, to adopt a functional healthcare model similar to our European neighbours, and a total overhaul of the UK tax system to remove cliff edges and levy tax on a household unit basis like all other sensible countries in order to remove perverse incentives and distortions and raise productivity and growth which is the only way to sustainably raise living standards.

Due to our dysfunctional political and electorial system, our largely economically illiterate electorate and the refusal of large numbers of people to accept the changes that need to be made or have any sense if social responsibility - preferring to try to find scapegoats and bang on endlessly about what are often trivial irrelevancies from an economic perspective - I highly doubt that this will happen and therefore living standards in the UK will continue to decline. We don’t have a single UK party even prepared to put forward the evidence-based policies required to improve things let alone one capable of actually implementing them.

In general, I agree entirely.

Regarding infrastructure and our lamentable record on building anything to replace the crumbling Victorian legacy, it is noticeable that all our politicians and civil servants are incapable of managing contracts.

Why this should be I don't know, but it's a national disgrace. Norway finished a nine-mile undersea tunnel (Ryfylke) in 2019 that cost under one billion pounds. HS2 has already wasted £100 billion. Spain's Renfe has built a national high speed rail network, at much lower cost per kilometre. Every city in France with a population of over 150,000 has a tram system or a metro. Because the rails are fixed, developers can plan with some degree of certainty what and where new infrastructure and housing should go. Don't mention the scandalous cost of PFI schools and hospitals.

I'm not blaming any one party, but it suggests that somewhere sometime in the last 30 years we lost any will to take the public realm seriously.

Kirbert2 · 25/05/2026 11:48

Papyrophile · 24/05/2026 19:08

This has been an interesting and intellectual discussion thread. I've read and learned quite a lot about how people make financial decisions for the long term (or don't). My contributions have been personal anecdata in general. And I'm not entirely typical.

My conclusion is that pension saving has to be made mandatory, from the first pound earned, at every age. The suggestion made somewhere on social media that every baby born should have £10K deposited in their name at birth, that cannot be touched until they are 60, no matter how disabled or deranged or needful they are, would be much cheaper all around.

There's another thread currently running, that I am only reading along because I don't have anything useful to contribute, about NEETs. No one is mentioning the increased cost of caring for babies born prematurely, to adulthood, or the toll exacted on the parents.

It is quite marvellous that the medics can save a 23 or 24 week foetus, but one also needs to accept the price of doing so. Your miracle baby is costing the NHS (and all of us) about £50k per year. Every year in school requires additional support, such as 1-2-1 TA help. Even at NMW that's £25,000 per annum. Yes it is really really distasteful and very unpleasant to write this, but the community cannot afford to let self-interest (your personal wishes for your child in need) dictate policy. I don't have a decent answer though. And you would not like the answer I'd have to make as an alternative.

Not every child is born disabled. Any child is an accident or illness away from a disability.

My son was born healthy (and 1 week late!), he became disabled literally overnight when he was 8 due to complications from an illness. I can't even begin to imagine the costs it required to not only save his life but everything else that followed and now the care and support he will need for the rest of his life e.g he needs 2:1 TA support at school. I'd argue that the cost regarding all of his care including past and now is probably even greater than a premature baby's care.

Papyrophile · 25/05/2026 11:57

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/pensions/state-pensions/triple-lock-cannot-last-forever-scrapping-it-now-disaster/

Apologies that this comes from the Torygraph (although there's something very similar in The Times today -- for all of the ancients who still read broadsheet news). Both are behind paywalls though.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/pensions/state-pensions/triple-lock-cannot-last-forever-scrapping-it-now-disaster

ThreadGuardDog · 25/05/2026 11:58

Differentforgirls · 24/05/2026 21:28

Like me?

I’ve never understood why MN condemns and blames boomers for the economic climate they lived through. Are they saying that being presented with the same opportunities they would have done things differently ? And levelling accusations of boomers being self centred and bringing up their children to be the same, is a bit rich when you look at the levels of bad behaviour and entitlement from today’s children. We do the best we can with what we have at the time and everything is relevant to it’s time. Boomers were responsible for fighting for and securing a lot of the things subsequent generations have benefited from. Conveniently forgotten in the rush to condemn.

ruethewhirl · 25/05/2026 11:59

BIossomtoes · 25/05/2026 10:31

I’m amazed it hasn’t been reported. Far more innocuous posts on this thread have been.

It has now, don't know why I didn't do it straight away.

Differentforgirls · 25/05/2026 11:59

ThreadGuardDog · 25/05/2026 11:58

I’ve never understood why MN condemns and blames boomers for the economic climate they lived through. Are they saying that being presented with the same opportunities they would have done things differently ? And levelling accusations of boomers being self centred and bringing up their children to be the same, is a bit rich when you look at the levels of bad behaviour and entitlement from today’s children. We do the best we can with what we have at the time and everything is relevant to it’s time. Boomers were responsible for fighting for and securing a lot of the things subsequent generations have benefited from. Conveniently forgotten in the rush to condemn.

Exactly!

ruethewhirl · 25/05/2026 12:00

BIossomtoes · 24/05/2026 19:20

The next 20 years will see the biggest inter generational transfer of wealth ever. There are going to be some very wealthy younger people.

And some desperately poor ones.

ThreadGuardDog · 25/05/2026 12:02

AniahJeremiah · 24/05/2026 19:55

Thick or just ignorant?

Young people have not always been poorer. In the 80s young people on average were more likely to own a home than over 55s. No coincidence that the young people then were BOOMERS (a common thread that runs) and the old people were ww2 veterans and their spouses, largely empoverished and deserving of the elderly discounts they never received but their bratty children did (Winter Fuel Allowance, Triple Lock, Free bus passes)

In 2000 over 55s owned 55% of the GDP and now is closer to 80%. Likewise for under 35s it was once closer to 40% of the GDP now closer to 10%.

FWIW I am 35 with two kids not some stroppy teenager. The "young" milennials now include the borderline middle aged with families.

Are these the same ‘bratty’ children who fought for things like equal pay, maternity leave and pay, workplace pension provision for women, better childcare and more - from which future generations continue to benefit ?

BIossomtoes · 25/05/2026 12:09

ThreadGuardDog · 25/05/2026 12:02

Are these the same ‘bratty’ children who fought for things like equal pay, maternity leave and pay, workplace pension provision for women, better childcare and more - from which future generations continue to benefit ?

The same ones who raised their families at a time of double digit inflation, basic rate income tax at 35%, with NI on top and interest rates ranging from 7% to 17%.

MsGreying · 25/05/2026 12:27

Dweetfidilove · 19/05/2026 17:20

I just heard this report and my heart sank. Apparently the pension bill is expected to go up in multiples, as even those who are saving, are not saving enough.

Given we're locked in an extended COL, I can't imagine this will improve any time soon.

How much do people need to live on when they retire?

crossedlines · 25/05/2026 12:45

BIossomtoes · 25/05/2026 12:09

The same ones who raised their families at a time of double digit inflation, basic rate income tax at 35%, with NI on top and interest rates ranging from 7% to 17%.

The posters who are so venomous in their hatred of boomers obviously forget that many of us who they despise have adult children in their 20s and 30s and have a very good understanding of the particular challenges facing that generation. I can see that the housing market for renting or buying is the biggest challenge - and I wholeheartedly support far more and faster building of affordable homes and rent controls. The job market is also difficult, though less so if you’re prepared to do whatever job comes up. And many young people are sold a dud when it comes to university…. It was a ridiculous idea to aim for half of young people to go. There are way too many people in uni who just haven’t got the academic ability and would have been far better off learning a trade.

But when I look at my adult offspring, there are also a lot of advantages they have over my experience of living through my 20s and 30s. They’ve travelled much more widely and their social life at uni was unrecognisable from mine. When I went to university only 8% of people got in, there was no messing around with gap years, if you got in, you went, and lived a pretty frugal existence for 3 years.

My eldest dd has recently bought her first flat and even with the more recent hikes in interest rates, her fixed term mortgage is a far lower rate than we experienced. And interestingly when she came to furnish it, pretty much every piece of furniture/ white goods was the same price as 30 years ago - so in relative terms, way cheaper. In our early days of home ownership, Dh and I had to take on second jobs in the evening/ weekends as well as working full time - that was the reality of home ownership. And then of course the crash and negative equity which made us wish we’d never bought in the first place.

And perhaps one of the most important things: should my dd have a baby, she’ll have the right to a year mat leave (compared to the 12 weeks I had) and on her return to work will get free childcare hours (compared to the zero I got)

This is why spouting venom at any particular generation is utterly pointless. There are advantages and disadvantages to being born into any generation and it shows a real lack of intelligent thinking to just cherry pick the good bits and ignore the bad.

Differentforgirls · 25/05/2026 13:14

MsGreying · 25/05/2026 12:27

How much do people need to live on when they retire?

We have £3000 per month. No mortgage though. Direct debits are about £450, food, petrol etc about £550.

We pay council tax, car insurance and tax, football and golf season tickets and fees and tv licence from the interest on our savings yearly.

When we both get our SP we will have £5000 per month. First one in 3 years time.