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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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nearlylovemyusername · Today 13:15

VintageLane · Yesterday 19:23

That needs some context. 45% of adults are not saving into a pension, but that includes the unemployed and self-employed. I think the figure for auto-enrolled employed people is substantially higher - something like 90%.

This makes sense. Given that 25% of working age population are economically inactive, 45% makes sense because is includes self employed who very frequently work cash in hand of have mechanisms to save under business umbrella

Papyrophile · Today 14:14

MsGreying · Today 12:27

How much do people need to live on when they retire?

It depends on multiple factors, of course. We're only semi-retired at 70, because DH is still running the business he started 34 years ago, although he's no longer hands on onsite. But he retains oversight of the commercial aspects, and is the memory bank for the company. I still look after the pension funds that we have, but not all the routine admin tasks which are mostly automated now.

Our home costs as much or more to run as ever, mainly because at 70 we don't have the stamina for a steeply sloped garden, so we need a contractor to do the heavy lifting. We shall move and downsize a bit, but we are also helping our DC with their rent in the Southeast for the next year or so. None of the everyday costs have gone down because we are retired: we have to eat and drink and stay warm. There's no longer a mortgage, which helps, but CT is £365 per month.

crossedlines · Today 14:29

MsGreying · Today 12:27

How much do people need to live on when they retire?

dh and I are looking to retire soon. Our occupational pensions will be about 2k a month (DH) and 1650 a month for me (I went down to 3 days a week work for a short period of years when the kids were babies so my pension took a bit of a hit.) We’ll both get decent lump sums as well. When one of us dies, the other will get half of their monthly pension payments. The mortgage is paid off so we’ll be ok. We won’t get state pension until 66 and 7 months (DH) and 67 for me.

tbh there’s no way I’d want to live on the state pension alone. I’m very glad we both worked full time apart from that small number of pt years I did, and that I continued working during the bloody awful era of high interest rates and all my net pay going on the nursery bill.

Apprentice26 · Today 15:21

ThreadGuardDog · Today 11:58

I’ve never understood why MN condemns and blames boomers for the economic climate they lived through. Are they saying that being presented with the same opportunities they would have done things differently ? And levelling accusations of boomers being self centred and bringing up their children to be the same, is a bit rich when you look at the levels of bad behaviour and entitlement from today’s children. We do the best we can with what we have at the time and everything is relevant to it’s time. Boomers were responsible for fighting for and securing a lot of the things subsequent generations have benefited from. Conveniently forgotten in the rush to condemn.

They dont “blame” them for their good luck. They blame them for not acknowledging it, for taking out even more just because they can and for wasting their good fortune

crossedlines · Today 15:45

Apprentice26 · Today 15:21

They dont “blame” them for their good luck. They blame them for not acknowledging it, for taking out even more just because they can and for wasting their good fortune

Taking out even more? Eh?

BIossomtoes · Today 15:50

Apprentice26 · Today 15:21

They dont “blame” them for their good luck. They blame them for not acknowledging it, for taking out even more just because they can and for wasting their good fortune

Please explain “wasting their good fortune” when most people have done exactly what they’re supposed to: worked all their lives, bought a house, saved into a pension scheme. In what way is that waste?

Nemorth · Today 16:46

I started saving into my pension as soon as I had my first job that offered a match (2002). I figured if I did that I’d get used to not having it in the first place. Then every year when the personal tax allowance went up (hah, those were the days!) I’d increase the percentage I saved.

My pension pot is quite healthy now.

It’s almost too hard to start when you have a whole range of commitments but if we can encourage our young people to start in their first job then they can get used to the outlay. Then they can cut their cloth accordingly and hopefully never stop paying in.

DH and I have started stakeholder pensions for our DC. We only pay in £20 each per month but one DC has 48 years of growth and the other 52, so who knows!

Katypp · Today 17:26

ruethewhirl · Today 12:00

And some desperately poor ones.

OK. So what are THEY doing about it?
Because pps on this thread have been very vocal about greedy, grasping and selfish boomers who deserve to be poor because they have not done anything to help themselves.
Yet ... it's apparently perfectly fine and understandable that 45% of today's workers (who have far more opportunities to pay into a pension than the despised boomers ever had) are not paying into a pension because ... because ....because.
I will say it again - there is nothing unique about the finances of today's young families. The circumstances they are living in are unique, but so were mine in the 80s/90s amid soaring interest rates, or the families living through the house price crashes of the late 90s/00s. The years of bringing up children have always been and always will be the most expensive of our lives.
You can't on one hand advocate for pensions to be scaled back but then not acknowledge this is likely to be an even bigger problem in the future. The ony difference is today's workers seem to know what they are doing in a way workers in the past didn't.

Katypp · Today 17:28

BIossomtoes · Today 15:50

Please explain “wasting their good fortune” when most people have done exactly what they’re supposed to: worked all their lives, bought a house, saved into a pension scheme. In what way is that waste?

Dunno. Sounds good though doesn't it?

Differentforgirls · Today 17:48

crossedlines · Today 14:29

dh and I are looking to retire soon. Our occupational pensions will be about 2k a month (DH) and 1650 a month for me (I went down to 3 days a week work for a short period of years when the kids were babies so my pension took a bit of a hit.) We’ll both get decent lump sums as well. When one of us dies, the other will get half of their monthly pension payments. The mortgage is paid off so we’ll be ok. We won’t get state pension until 66 and 7 months (DH) and 67 for me.

tbh there’s no way I’d want to live on the state pension alone. I’m very glad we both worked full time apart from that small number of pt years I did, and that I continued working during the bloody awful era of high interest rates and all my net pay going on the nursery bill.

Edited

I went job share for for 10 years and I lost 5 years on my pension 🥲. Wouldn’t change it though.

Papyrophile · Today 18:54

I never enjoy making comments like this, but it is important to say something occasionally. Nobody with the ability to make a comment that is being taken seriously on a thread like this specific one is ever likely to find themselves at the really really rough end of the deal. The fact that you are here and engaged with the content puts you well into the top 20% of the population intellectually. I am grateful to the posters who remind us how life can go very wrong very quickly and disastrously so that we remember the importance of the phrase, "there but for the grace of God go I".

crossedlines · Today 18:57

@Papyrophilean interesting thought - nothing to substantiate your statistics there though

Badbadbunny · Today 18:59

Apprentice26 · Today 15:21

They dont “blame” them for their good luck. They blame them for not acknowledging it, for taking out even more just because they can and for wasting their good fortune

Nail on the head. They also blame them for criticising younger people for not doing what they did, without accepting that they were lucky to enjoy affordable housing, endowment and other windfalls, etc.

Papyrophile · Today 19:00

No stats in my post! Pure supposition, as ever.

crossedlines · Today 19:03

Erm… 20% is a stat….

Bsfff · Today 19:04

It honestly totally baffles me when people "can't afford to save". Unless you're disabled or you're caring for a disabled person I'm confused. Most young grads I know save in their pension. Like even those on £28k renting privately in London.

If you put a small % away, your employer matches and it's good. You just put the % away and budget with that you have left.

ruethewhirl · Today 20:35

Bsfff · Today 19:04

It honestly totally baffles me when people "can't afford to save". Unless you're disabled or you're caring for a disabled person I'm confused. Most young grads I know save in their pension. Like even those on £28k renting privately in London.

If you put a small % away, your employer matches and it's good. You just put the % away and budget with that you have left.

Sometimes there’s literally nothing left over to save when all bills have been paid. I’m no longer in this position myself, but have been in the past.

ruethewhirl · Today 20:37

Papyrophile · Today 18:54

I never enjoy making comments like this, but it is important to say something occasionally. Nobody with the ability to make a comment that is being taken seriously on a thread like this specific one is ever likely to find themselves at the really really rough end of the deal. The fact that you are here and engaged with the content puts you well into the top 20% of the population intellectually. I am grateful to the posters who remind us how life can go very wrong very quickly and disastrously so that we remember the importance of the phrase, "there but for the grace of God go I".

High intellect doesn’t automatically ensure high earnings. Or even any earnings at all.

Apprentice26 · Today 20:38

ruethewhirl · Today 20:35

Sometimes there’s literally nothing left over to save when all bills have been paid. I’m no longer in this position myself, but have been in the past.

But the entire thread is not about people who cannot afford to save. It’s about those who can.
And don’t

ruethewhirl · Today 20:41

Katypp · Today 17:26

OK. So what are THEY doing about it?
Because pps on this thread have been very vocal about greedy, grasping and selfish boomers who deserve to be poor because they have not done anything to help themselves.
Yet ... it's apparently perfectly fine and understandable that 45% of today's workers (who have far more opportunities to pay into a pension than the despised boomers ever had) are not paying into a pension because ... because ....because.
I will say it again - there is nothing unique about the finances of today's young families. The circumstances they are living in are unique, but so were mine in the 80s/90s amid soaring interest rates, or the families living through the house price crashes of the late 90s/00s. The years of bringing up children have always been and always will be the most expensive of our lives.
You can't on one hand advocate for pensions to be scaled back but then not acknowledge this is likely to be an even bigger problem in the future. The ony difference is today's workers seem to know what they are doing in a way workers in the past didn't.

Except that I’m not advocating for pensions to be scaled back. Oh, and for a lot of people in the current climate your ‘because…’ sentence ends in ‘…there isn’t anything left over to save.’ Just saying.

ruethewhirl · Today 20:43

Apprentice26 · Today 20:38

But the entire thread is not about people who cannot afford to save. It’s about those who can.
And don’t

Both categories exist, agreed. But pp was expressing incomprehension that anyone wouldn’t be paying into a pension, so I was pointing out a reason, probably the main reason if you ask me.

Bsfff · Today 20:45

ruethewhirl · Today 20:35

Sometimes there’s literally nothing left over to save when all bills have been paid. I’m no longer in this position myself, but have been in the past.

And why is/was that?

Bsfff · Today 20:47

I can make do with 96% of my income..... And then the employer matches.

ThreadGuardDog · Today 20:48

Bsfff · Today 19:04

It honestly totally baffles me when people "can't afford to save". Unless you're disabled or you're caring for a disabled person I'm confused. Most young grads I know save in their pension. Like even those on £28k renting privately in London.

If you put a small % away, your employer matches and it's good. You just put the % away and budget with that you have left.

And if what you had left wasn’t enough to make ends meet before you considered taking some away to contribute to a pension ? What then ?

Nemorth · Today 20:48

OneShyQuail · 20/05/2026 11:12

£200 a month, no, £100 a month each between me and DP.

My DP is self employed, so no employer contribution.

By the time ive been in a position to actually save towards a holiday (single parent for many years) me putting £100 into a pension wont get me much at all.

Its not like im starting at age 20 to save. Again its all assumptions and black and white. People's lives aren't linear.

If I hadnt have ended up a single parent im pretty such I would have a decent pension. But my career took a massive hit having children, and then I haven't been able to go back into that career whilst being on my own with the kids. So although I do pay into a pension at my age now, its meagre. And no, I wont stick more in and not take my girls on one holiday a year!

And £300 at xmas is me saving £25 a month per child towards it.....i don't buy tat - one of the gifts is an annual pass to a group of theme parks/days out. None of their gifts end up in a bin....and, in reality £300 doesn't buy that much stuff for children!

Its funny how its the people with a good income lecturing the people with a low income on what to do with their money! If you are on a low income you would understand and not be making judgements about people wanting one holiday with their children a year and getting them some nice things for birthday/christmas.....🙄

Of course if I had SPARE money id be putting more into my pension....next youll be telling me not to save into my emergency fund for car and house repairs......or maybe I shouldn't have life insurance.....or a car?!

I only spend £150 per DC at Christmas. We’ve not had an “expensive” holiday for 3 years. I class anything over £2,000 as expensive and there are 4 of us.

I do save £20 per month per DC into a pension for them.

Same sorts of figures of a couple of things (not the bigger picture I realise!) but different choices made.

You probably think£300 per child at Christmas isn’t much, whereas I think it’s LOADS!