Am I going to get the sack? AIBU?

[mumstheword1x]

I’m suffering with anxiety at the moment, last week I got given a pay rise by my manager, I was so happy. I thanked her on Friday over email for all her support and she never replied.

shes asked to speak to me tomorrow morning at 09:30, I said ‘of course, all ok?’ And she said ‘Yes all good’

she never asks me for a catch up like that, so I’m a lil confused. She normally just calls me on the day at the time randomly.

I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, although she’s a director and some drama kicked off at an Awayday, I wasn’t involved, I just found out and had to schedule calls for another manager. I’m a PA to 3 people and this one is my boss, the other manager told my boss today that I knew about it… although I was just scheduling calls and wasn’t involved & it was agreed the director didn’t need to know.

AIBU? Am I over thinking this?

Unless there’s something else you haven’t told us I think you’ll be fine. I often get my manager who is also one of the directors saying ‘can I have a word please.’ It’s usually just more work for me!

You’ll be fine. You should get some professional help for your anxiety, it’s debilitating

With kindness , I’ve read some of your previous posts and I think you’re suffering with extreme anxiety. You don’t have to live like this . Get some professional help it will change your life . We only have one life and it’s such a waste to spend it worrying about all the what ifs . There is so much support out there xx

Most likely just to get the full story of the situation from another perspective. If there are complaints and issues the director will want to know. They said “all good” so go in assuming all is in fact good and fine…

I suspect your manager just wants your take on the situation, for information going forward dealing with the gross misconduct of others.

She will probably ask you to loop her in earlier next time you hear of any similar issues.

Don't beat yourself up. I think it will all be fine.

Kindly OP, get a grip (and some help for your anxiety if you're not already).

Hope it went ok OP

Been moved to tomorrow ugh

You're not getting fired- they wouldn't put this off.

It's going to be fine

Are you in the UK ? If so - no. It’s very unlikely you would just be sacked over knowing something about drama that happened on an away day. They probably just want to find out what you know and ensure that you’re not being dragged into anything. Keep the meeting professional. Only talk about what you experienced first hand with whatever people were involved. Don’t talk about other incidents unless the manager asks directly and don’t talk about anything that came from other sources unless you are asked.

You’ve done nothing wrong - do don’t worry about it. It could end up being completely unrelated and be about something they want you to work on next. Who knows could be something exciting.

It's very unlikely that they'd put off a meeting to deliver bad news.

However, I would email the manager and say something like:

Hi Bridget,

Would you be able to provide an agenda for the meeting tomorrow so I can come prepared? As I haven't been told what the meeting is regarding, it's causing me some anxiety.

Best Regards,

If I were your manager I would be doing a check in with you to make sure you were ok after having been dragged into the mess. Absolutely nothing you have described would put your own job at risk. I suspect your anxiety is getting the better of you.

If you're scheduling meetings and not even able to give the attendees a heads-up on the subject to be discussed then you need retraining.

Would your junior staff put an untitled meeting in the diary and expect you to attend?

Can you email or ask to speak to your manager today? I’m sure that will put your mind at rest.

Out of control with her emotions....wow! Who even says that. How misogynistic. She was reacting normally to a situation that was created. The fact they labelled her hysterical is disgusting.

Eh?
The colleague was the one at fault here unless I'm misreading it, not the manager.
And rather that fire her for her outburst, they referred her to get help.
All sounds pretty reasonable. OP doesn't say manager used the word hysterical (you did).
We fired an employee in similar circumstances (blowing up and shouting at manager and others) but they were only three weeks in, under probation, so not worth wasting time on (in my opinion).

She got drunk, squared up to her manager and told him everything she, the employee, didn’t like about him, the manager. How is that a situation the manager created?

Very understand of him to put it down to “things going on at home” and telling her to seek counselling, instead of just sacking her.

You've made a lot of really wild assumptions. I'm not behind on any of my work and I don't manage any of my direct reports as such.

You can write as much made up bluster as you like but it doesn't make it any less of a poor management process than to book blocks of people's time without giving them any idea of what you are supposed to be speaking about.

The most effective worker will still not be able to have as an effective a meeting as possible if they don't know what files to get open on their computer, what notes to bring along etc. It isn't a requirement of any job to have every single fact in your head.

I've met managers like you - they have inflated egos and are usually really bad at their jobs. They're usually living embodiments of the Peter Principle.

When this is over, OP, and everything is fine you need to get some help with managing your anxiety. Your responses on her are showing it is having a signigicant debilitating effect.
Objectively, anybody who is PA to 3 Managers in a large private company and is awarded a pay rise is demonstrating they are perfectly competent. The fact you can't sleep the night before a 'catch up' meeting with your manager, a meeting that they consider insignificant enough to reschedule, is more of a concern for you going forward.

No one said the manager created it. But the manager using a tactic that abusers use is not acceptable.

What does she need to seek help for? Her reaction is normal not abnormal. It is also not ok to use stigma against someone. That is not ok.

No one loses control ever. That is not a thing. For the manager to suggest that is wrong.

How did it go today?

You think it is normal to get drunk and square up to your manager? Where do you work?!

Nah didnt say anything of the sort. I said it is normal to react to the situation she created...panic is normal. Have you never panicked when you know you did something wrong and were worried about the consequences?

Maybe you think panic is abnormal? Weird....it is normal for most ppl but clearly not you!

Next time please read before commenting!